Turnabout Gone Wrong
by ProbableImpossibilities
Summary: Maya's spirit medium training reaches an all-time level of crazy when she accidentally channels Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth at the same time. However, the REAL trouble starts when Pearls sends them back... to the wrong bodies. In the middle of a big case, can the two rivals survive long enough in each other's shoes to find the truth?
1. The Experiment

**Author's Note: I am only human, and I screw things up sometimes, so please bear with me. I am also too lazy to come up with a title that doesn't start with "Turnabout." Or include a disclaimer. Please forgive me.**

* * *

Date: August 3

Time: 2:34

Location: Wright and Co. Law Offices

"Here's to Nick," Maya said, holding her glass of soda in the air. "And here's hoping he'll last at least one more year!"

"Hey!" Phoenix protested. "What kind of toast is that?!"

"A very practical one." Edgeworth smirked and held up his wine glass. "At least Miss Fey is realistic."

Maya grinned. "Cheers!"

Phoenix groaned and raised his glass. Today marked the second anniversary of his debut as a defense attorney, so Maya had decided to invite a bunch of people to the office and hold a surprise party for him. Pearls and Larry were there, as well as Edgeworth and Detective Gumshoe. However, it seemed like one of Edgeworth's friends had decided to invite herself...

Kay Farraday laughed and held up her soda. "This is a great party, Mr. Wrong! I'm so glad I stole that invitation!"

Phoenix sighed. "It's Wright. Not Wrong."

Maya pouted. "Aww, stop being such a party pooper, Nick! Cheer up a little!"

"Hey, Nick," Larry yelled from across the table. "Are there any hot chicks coming?"

Before Phoenix could reply, Pearls reached up and slapped Larry across the face. "Mr. Nick has eyes only for Mystic Maya!" she announced. "Stop trying to lead him astray!"

While Larry nursed his cheek and tried to placate the little girl, Detective Gumshoe happily munched on a piece of cake. "This is really great, pal!" he said between mouthfuls. "I haven't been able to afford cake for almost two years!"

Edgeworth sighed. "When are you going to learn to investigate properly? If you could find a decent clue I might not have to cut your salary every two hours..."

Gumshoe pouted. "Yes, sir."

Phoenix shook his head and smiled. _Well, at least it looks like everyone's having a good time,_ he thought to himself. Glancing around, he noticed Kay talking with Maya. Those two seemed to get along rather well for only having just met each other...

"So can you really channel the spirits of dead people?!" Kay asked excitedly. When Maya nodded, Kay grinned. "That's so cool!"

Maya smiled mischievously. "Oh, that's nothing! I've been working on something even more amazing than that..."

Phoenix suddenly felt an inexplicable twinge of dread. Kay gasped excitedly. "Something more amazing than channelling dead people?!"

Maya nodded. "There's a secret channelling technique that only certain people in my village know. Since I might end up becoming the Master there soon, I've been studying it." She grinned and clasped her hands. "Now I can channel the spirits of living people, too!"

Maya's last statement had been rather loud; everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and turned to listen.

Pearls gasped. "Mystic Maya! Have you really mastered the secret technique?!"

Maya smiled sheepishly. "Well, I haven't really mastered it, per se... I still need to actually try it."

Larry grinned. "Hey, why don't you try it out on Nick here? He'll be the perfect guinea pig, right, Nick?"

Phoenix felt that dread again. "No, no, no, I don't really think that's necessary-"

Pearls gasped happily. "Oh, Mr. Nick!" Her eyes misted over. "This is the perfect way for you and Mystic Maya to get in some soul-to-soul bonding..."

"But Pearls..." Phoenix protested. "If Maya's channelling, her soul leaves her body. That's not really 'bonding'..."

Pearls pouted. "But Mr. Nick... don't you want to help Mystic Maya? After all..." She brought her hands to her cheeks. "She is your special someone..."

Maya blushed. "I already told you it's not like that, Pearly!"

Phoenix nodded emphatically. "Sorry, Pearls, but..." He gulped. "I REALLY do not feel comfortable with this..."

Now it was Maya's turn to pout. "Aww, come on, Nick," she pleaded. "It won't be that bad... Just this once!"

Phoenix shivered. "No way!" He took a step back. "Honestly, I've never been so creeped out in my life.."

Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. "Don't be such a wet blanket, Nick!" Larry shouted, and pushed Phoenix towards Maya.

Phoenix panicked, and bolted for the door. "NOOOOOO!" he screamed, as Larry caught a hold of him and held him back. He flailed wildly for the doorknob. "I like my soul in my body!"

Maya sighed. "Okay, okay... just calm down..."

Kay giggled. "Mr. Wrong sure is a wuss, isn't he?" She snapped her fingers. "Well, if he won't do it, why don't you try it out on Mr. Edgeworth?"

Edgeworth spat out the wine he'd been sipping. "C- Certainly not!" he sputtered. "No offense to Miss Fey, but I-"

"Aw, come on!" Kay grinned. "It'll be fun! Right, Gummy?"

To Edgeworth's dismay, Gumshoe looked excited. "Right, pal!" he said, and grinned. "It's healthy to have some excitement in your life, sir!"

Edgeworth stared at him. "'Excitement'?!"

Maya nodded. "It's perfectly safe!"

Edgeworth took a step back. "I don't think you understand..." he said, fiddling nervously with his left cufflink. "There is no way that you are going to get me to participate in some occult ritual! This... This is just ridiculous!" He headed for the door.

"HOLD IT!" Kay grabbed him by his cravat and pulled him back towards the table. "You can't escape that easy!"

"No!" Edgeworth tried desperately to wriggle out of her grasp. "Let go of me!"

Maya looked disappointed. "Looks like nobody wants to try it..."

Kay grinned. "We don't need their permission, do we?" She yanked on Edgeworth's cravat. "I'll hold him for ya!"

Maya clasped her hands. "Okay!"

Pearls gasped. "Mystic Maya! You're not going to channel Mr. Nick?" Her eyes widened. "Could it be... that you're having an affair with Mr. Eh-ji-werth?!"

"WHAT?!" shouted Maya and Edgeworth, almost in unison. Maya folded her arms. "I told you, I'm not dating anyone, Pearly!"

Pearls pouted. "Then why won't you channel Mr. Nick?" She turned to Maya with the best puppy-eyes she could muster. "Please?"

Maya clasped her hands again and turned towards Phoenix. "Uh, okay..." She started chanting a strange incantation.

"NOOO!" Phoenix screamed. "Channel Edgeworth! CHANNEL EDGEWORTH!"

"Yeah, pal!" Gumshoe shouted. "Channel Mr. Edgeworth!"

"No!" Edgeworth yelped. "Wright! WRIGHT!"

"Yeah!" Larry shouted. He started chanting. "Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick!" Pearls joined him enthusiastically. "Nick! Nick! Nick!"

Kay jumped up onto the table. "Edgeworth! Edgeworth! Edgeworth!" she shouted.

In a matter of seconds, the whole room erupted into a cacophony of voices. Maya shut her eyes tight, trying to focus. She started having to shout to hear her own chanting over the noise around her.

As all the chanting reached its climax, Maya suddenly gasped. Her whole body trembled, and her eyes started to roll back in their sockets. The whole room instantly went silent as she fell to her knees. Suddenly, she threw her head back and let out an unearthly scream. It sounded as though two voices were crying out as one.

In that instant, both Phoenix and Edgeworth collapsed. Pearls gasped. "Oh no! This is really, really bad..."

Kay looked worried. "What's going on...?"

Maya continued to scream, and began convulsing as her body contorted. Pearls rushed to her side. "She must have accidentally channeled them both at the same time!" she said, and clasped her hands. "I'll perform the Spirit Severing technique!" She started chanting furiously, and the magatama around her neck began to glow with a pale light.

When Pearls finished chanting, Maya stopped screaming and slumped to the floor. Her eyelids fluttered; her vision was going black. "Pearly..." she mumbled, tried to lift her head, and lost consciousness.

* * *

"...are you alright? Come on, wake up!"

Edgeworth could hear voices around him, but his head was swimming as he regained consciousness. He tried to lift his eyelids, but they felt too heavy. _What... what in the world happened?_ he thought. He felt... strange.

He could hear the voices again. A girl's voice... she sounded worried. He was too out of it to identify whose voice it was. He tried opening his eyes again. This time, he managed to get them open after blinking a few times.

Edgeworth looked around. All he could see was ceiling and a face. _I must be lying on the floor..._ he thought. Slowly, the face came into focus; it was Maya Fey. She smiled at him, her hair dangling over his nose.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake!" she said, sounding relieved. "For a while there, we were worried something bad had happened to you. But it looks like you're okay."

Edgeworth swallowed. His mouth felt like it was full of sand. "What... happened?" he croaked. His voice sounded strange...

Maya smiled sheepishly. "Well... the channeling didn't go so well. I was knocked out for a little bit, too, but not nearly as long as you. Luckily, Pearly was here to save the day! It took a lot out of her, though, so she's taking a nap in the other room." She bowed her head. "I'm really sorry, Nick!"

_What?_ Edgeworth tried to sit up. _What's going on?_ "Why... why did you call me 'Nick'?" His voice still sounded strange... was that really his voice?

Maya blinked. She looked slightly confused. However, after a moment or two, she started laughing. Edgeworth felt relieved. _Oh... she was only joking._

Maya giggled. "I get it... you're pretending to have amnesia or something. Very funny. " She paused for a moment. "You are joking, right? This isn't gonna be like that case with the bananas, is it? "

Edgeworth felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. HE was certainly not joking. He was starting to wonder what exactly had happened when he'd lost consciousness... although he suspected that he wouldn't like the answer.

Edgeworth struggled to a sitting position. His entire body felt oddly sore. Once upright, he looked down. And instantly regretted it. His signature red jacket and cravat were nowhere in sight. They'd been replaced with a sickeningly familiar blue suit and tie.

Edgeworth staggered to his feet. This simply couldn't be happening. It had to be some kind of nightmare. Dazed, he stumbled towards the bathroom. Maya was saying something, but he didn't comprehend a word. He felt like he might retch.

He pushed open the door to the bathroom and staggered inside. He took a moment to brace himself, then looked in the mirror.

Edgeworth felt, for a moment, as if his heart had stopped. The face staring back at him belonged to Phoenix Wright.

"This... This isn't real..." he mumbled to himself. "These things just don't happen..."

Maya poked her head into the bathroom. "Nick?" she asked tentatively. "Is... something wrong?" She looked worried. "Come on, talk to me, Nick!"

Edgeworth swallowed. It took all his resolve to keep from breaking down and crying. "I..." He turned to face her. "I'm not Nick."

* * *

Phoenix moaned softly. He'd been awake for some time, but it had taken him a while to shake the fuzziness from his thoughts. He felt like someone had taken his brain and turned it into scrambled eggs. It didn't help that every part of his body ached; he still hadn't found the strength to open his eyes.

Phoenix could hear voices whispering, but they were very hushed, and he couldn't quite tell who they belonged to. Suddenly, he heard a loud series of thumps; it sounded kind of like an elephant crashing into every piece of furniture in the office. Someone was shouting, and he realized that it was Maya.

Hearing her voice jogged his memory of what had happened before he'd lost consciousness. He was instantly concerned; something had gone very wrong with the channeling, he knew that much. He opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times.

"Hey, Gummy! He's awake!"

"Really? Hold on, pal, I'll get some ice or something."

Phoenix blinked again as the room slowly came into focus. He was lying down, probably on the couch. Someone was leaning over him; at first he thought it was Maya, but Maya didn't have green eyes. He wracked his brain... it must be that other girl. What was her name again... Key? No, Kay.

Kay grinned. "Geez, how long were you planning on sleeping in?" She smirked. "We had a three-hour Steel Samurai marathon while you were out. It was glorious."

Phoenix grimaced. He was starting to really hate that show... although he figured she was probably joking from the teasing look in her eyes. Why she would bring it up was beyond him. In fact, he wasn't exactly sure why she was even talking to him like that. They'd only known each other for about twenty minutes.

With some struggling, he managed to drag himself up to a sitting position. For some reason, it was difficult for him to get his limbs to cooperate. "Is... Maya okay?" he asked. Huh... his voice seemed a little... weird. Maybe it was because he was out for such a long time.

Kay blinked. "Uh, yeah, she's fine." She turned around and faced the bathroom for a moment, then turned back to him. "Seems like she's having some problems with her boyfriend over there."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Her boyfriend?" That's new...

Kay rolled her eyes. "You know, that pointy-haired lawyer guy. They are obviously a thing." She shook her head. "You are so clueless sometimes, Mr. Edgeworth."

Phoenix blinked. "Huh? W- What? What are you talking about?" He started to feel that unspeakable dread again. His voice really was different...

Kay laughed. Phoenix started to sweat. Why did she think he was Edgeworth? Either she was blind, or...

He let his gaze travel downward towards his own chest. Instead of his usual blue suit and tie, he found himself chin-deep in ruffles.

"Oh my God..." he mumbled, trying desperately to keep it together. _How could this have happened?_ He gasped. _The channeling!_ He staggered to his feet. "Where did you say Maya was?" he asked urgently.

Kay looked confused. She shrugged. "I think she's in the bathroom talking to Mr. Wrong..."

Phoenix scowled. "It's WRIGHT. Not Wrong." He shook his head. _I don't have time for this! I need to figure out what's going on..._

He stumbled towards the bathroom door. He felt unbalanced, like his center of gravity was off. He was about two feet away from the bathroom when the door suddenly swung open. Phoenix's heart skipped a beat. There, framed in the doorway, stood...

Phoenix blinked. "Is that... me?!"

* * *

**Author's Note: Ha ha ha ha ha ha I wrote another one of "these" stories. I'm sorry, I just cannot resist. **

**Also, distinguishing (character-wise) between Kay and Maya is really hard. I tried to tone Maya down a little and bring out more of Kay's cheekiness, but they still seem kind of like the same person to me. O_o**

**Oh well. I hope you enjoy the craziness that is this fic... trust me, it's only gonna get weirder from here on out...**


	2. Plan of Action

Edgeworth was in shock. The fact that Maya hadn't seemed to know what to say either had not helped matters. He'd explained his predicament to the spirit medium as best he could, but all she'd said was a very subdued 'oh.' He wasn't particularly satisfied with that.

"Um, if you could excuse me..." he said, reaching for the doorknob. "I... think I need some air..."

Maya nodded. She looked sad.

Edgeworth didn't know what to say, so he turned the knob. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of his wrist and shuddered. He still had trouble grasping the reality of what had happened. He wondered how he was going to tell Detective Gumshoe...

Edgeworth opened the door, and stopped in his tracks. He suddenly found himself face-to-face with... himself.

The Edgeworth-that-wasn't-really-Edgeworth gaped. "Is that... me?!"

Edgeworth blinked. Since only three people had actually participated in the channeling and Maya seemed to be fine, the person inhabiting his body now could only be...

"Nick?" Maya brushed past Edgeworth. "Is that you?"

Wright (?) grinned. "Maya! You're okay, right?"

Edgeworth bit his lip. Seeing that idiotic grin plastered all over HIS own face made him exceedingly uncomfortable. He didn't think he could take much more of this...

Edgeworth quietly moved towards the door. He just needed to be alone for a few minutes... Maya and Wright (?) seemed to be pretty engrossed in their own conversation. Nobody would notice if he snuck out for a bit-

"Hey, pal, I brought the ice!" Suddenly, the door swung open with a bang. Edgeworth only had just enough time to recognize the person who entered as Detective Gumshoe before he was barreled over and knocked to the ground. As he staggered to his feet, he resisted the urge to curse like a sailor and instead folded his arms and shot the detective the best glare he could muster. "Are you insane?!" he scolded. "You're a detective! You shouldn't be running around crashing into things!"

Gumshoe pouted and scratched his head. "Aw, come on, pal, don't do this to me... I get enough of that from Mr. Edgeworth."

Edgeworth blinked. Chewing out the detective was so... normal, he'd briefly forgotten about what had happened. He stared at the ground. He wanted to say something, but all he could manage was "oh."

Gumshoe shrugged. "Anyway, I went and got some ice from the place downstairs. What with so many people goin' unconscious and all, I figured somebody might want some." He smiled sheepishly. "Besides, Mr. Edgeworth's been getting these really nasty headaches recently. He always yells more when that happens, so I figured I'd come prepared today."

Edgeworth wasn't sure if he should try to explain to Gumshoe. He decided he wanted some ice first. "Well, I suppose it was good of you bring that ice," he said, and rubbed his head. "Since you tackled me to the ground so spectacularly, I'm starting to get a headache."

Gumshoe reluctantly handed over the bag of ice. Edgeworth thanked him and pressed the ice to his forehead; at least he didn't have to push his bangs back today. He rolled his eyes. "You know, Detective, if you applied that much energy to your job..."

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. "Hey, what's up with you today, pal?" He sighed. "Jeez, what a nag!"

_...I'm a nag?!_ Edgeworth frowned. _Your next salary review will not be kind..._

Gumshoe cleared his throat. "Do you have any plastic baggies around here?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "How should I know?"

"Come on, pal, it's your office!" Gumshoe huffed. "I need some of that ice for Mr. Edgeworth, too, ya know!"

Edgeworth felt a small lump in his throat. "No, you don't."

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Why not?"

"Because Edgeworth's already got all the ice." Kay leaned against the wall a couple feet to their left. She waved. "Hey Gummy. That didn't cost you your whole month's pay, did it?"

Gumshoe's brow furrowed. He looked completely and utterly clueless. "What are ya talkin' about, pal?"

Kay met Edgeworth's gaze. "Maya told me about it," she said. She sounded slightly more serious than usual. "Do you wanna tell Gummy, or should I?"

Edgeworth fidgeted. "Um, if you wouldn't mind..."

Gumshoe glanced at both of them. "Tell me what, pal? Just what is going on here?!"

At some point, Wright and Maya had filtered into the vicinity of the doorway. They watched Kay quietly; Wright constantly fiddled with his - Edgeworth's - cravat, apparently trying to make it less constricting. Edgeworth groaned inwardly. _He looks like he's strangling himself..._

Kay cleared her throat. "Well, remember that spirit channeling thing? It didn't go so hot..."

Gumshoe nodded. "I was there for that, pal."

Kay nodded. "Right. But what you didn't know is that when Pearl had to do that spirit-severing thing, she messed up. She sent the wrong spirits back to the wrong bodies."

Gumshoe's eyes widened. "Wait... so that means..."

Wright nodded. "That's Edgeworth," he said, pointing.

Gumshoe looked like he'd been slapped. "Wh- What?! No way, pal... that's just too weird..."

Edgeworth sighed. "Come now, Detective, you really ought to know by now that nothing is too weird for our present company."

Maya smiled sheepishly. "It's true..."

Gumshoe's eyes widened, and he whipped around to face Edgeworth. "I'm so sorry, sir!" he whimpered. "Are you okay?! If there's anything you need, sir, I-"

"That really won't be necessary." Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. He glanced pointedly at Wright. "The only thing I really need now is a way to reverse this rather unfortunate situation..."

Wright threw his hands in the air. "Don't look at me. The closest thing I've got to this Kurain channeling stuff is the magatama, which is probably in your pocket anyway."

"Oh..." Edgeworth fished around in the blue suit's pockets until he grasped something small and smooth. He pulled it out and offered it to Wright. "Do you want it?"

Wright thought about it. "Nah, I'd probably just lose it somewhere. You hold on to it for now. As long as it's in that pocket, it's safe."

Edgeworth shrugged and returned the greenish stone to his pocket. Wright had implied that it wouldn't help them much right now, anyway. He turned to Maya. "So, do you have any idea how to switch us back?"

Maya cringed. "See, that's the thing..."

Edgeworth didn't like the way this conversation was going.

"I suppose we could try to repeat what happened earlier," Maya continued. "We'd just have to get Pearly to figure out what went wrong with the Spirit Severing technique."

"Not a chance." Wright shook his head. "I am not letting you try that again, Maya. What if something happened to you?"

"But Nick..." Maya protested.

Wright put his hands on his hips. "I said no." He looked very much like an over-protective mother hen. Edgeworth would have mocked him under normal circumstances. Now, though, it just felt weird.

Maya thought for a minute. "Well, I really don't know what to do... after all, I'm still technically 'in training.' I don't have the book-knowledge to deal with something like this, and neither does Pearly."

"What?!" Wright groaned. "Don't say that! I don't wanna be EDGEWORTH for the rest of my life!" He looked comically desperate.

Maya smirked at him. "Yeah, you might actually have to be responsible and stuff."

Wright scowled. "That's not funny. Isn't there anything you can do?!"

"Come on," Kay urged. "There's gotta be a way... right?"

Maya thought for a minute. Eventually, she nodded. "I'll go back to Kurain. There's bound to be someone there who can tell me what to do, and if not, there's always the library. That place is full of all kinds of secret spells and whatnot." She perked up slightly. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it! Just call me on my cell phone if anything weird starts happening... uh..." She turned to Wright. "...Nick."

Wright blinked. "...Why the pause?"

"It's just..." Maya glanced at Edgeworth, then turned back to Wright. She smiled sheepishly. "It's kinda confusing, you know? Like, what do I call you? I mean, you're not entirely Nick, but you're definitely not Edgeworth..."

Wright fingered the cravat again. "But you know it's me! Why can't you just call me 'Nick' like you always do?"

Kay shook her head. "I agree with Maya. It's just weird." She snapped her fingers. "Hey, I know! Why don't we give them new names for now so we can tell them apart?"

Maya clasped her hands. "That's a great idea!"

Gumshoe grinned. "Hey, good thinking, pal! I was gettin' real confused, myself."

Kay grinned. "Alright, then..." She pointed to Edgeworth. "You can be Mr. Wrightworth. No objections!"

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth scowled. "That's just stupid! I'm not agreeing to that!"

"Hey, I said no objections!" Kay reached over and grabbed him by the tie. She held it in her hand and pouted. "Aww, this isn't as fun."

Maya pondered. "Hmm, what should we call Nick? 'Mick'? No, that's just lame... 'Wedge'?"

"Stop coming up with terrible names for me!" Wright protested.

Maya clasped her hands. "Ooh, I've got it!" She pointed at Wright. "You're Nickles. No objections!"

Wright groaned. "Great. I've been demoted to cute-household-pet status..."

Maya grinned. "Well, now that that's cleared up... I guess I'd better be off. You'll do okay in court tomorrow without me, right, Nickles?"

Wright blinked. "...What?"

Edgeworth gasped. Of all the... he'd completely forgotten about the case! It was the trial of a woman suspected of brutally murdering her husband. It was all over the newspapers... he'd been preparing his case for months... "Wright!" he shouted. "What are we going to do?!"

Wright was still clueless. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Edgeworth glared at him. "Don't tell me you've forgotten!" He was in a panic. "I'm supposed to face YOU in court... tomorrow!"

Wright was silent for a few seconds. Then his eyes widened. "Oh." He held his head in his hands. "$#%&!"

* * *

Phoenix couldn't believe he'd forgotten about the trial. He'd been working on setting up his defense for weeks. Now he had no idea what he was going to do. He glanced at Edgeworth. "How is that going to work?!"

Edgeworth recoiled. He looked like he was having a panic attack. "I don't know! I certainly can't prosecute in this condition, now can I?!"

_Crap._ Phoenix had been afraid he would say that. "W- Well, I can't prosecute either!" he stammered. "I don't know the first thing about it!"

Edgeworth clenched his fist. "Then just what do you propose we do?!"

Phoenix fidgeted with the cravat again and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, switch badges...?"

Edgeworth stared at him. "Are you retarded?! Even that old geezer of a judge isn't blind enough to fall for that!"

Phoenix was slightly shocked. He'd never seen Edgeworth lose his cool this bad before._ I guess the stress of all this is too much for him..._ He shrugged. "Well, if it's gonna be that much of a problem, we could both just call in really sick."

Edgeworth gasped. "No! You can't! I-" He looked like he might cry. "I've been working on this case since January! I've been staying at the office beyond overtime eating nothing but Gumshoe's instant noodles for the past three weeks!"

Phoenix stared at him. "Gumshoe let you eat his noodles? I always kind of thought they were like solid gold to him..."

Gumshoe huffed. "Hey, you know I'm not stingy, pal! Besides..." His eyes sparkled. "Mr. Edgeworth gave me a whole three cents raise!"

"Ah." Phoenix stroked his chin. "Okay, well, if you don't want to just give up on this case, then I guess we'll have to..." He gulped. "...switch sides."

Edgeworth made a face. He looked disgusted. "Me? Defend your client? Don't be ridiculous!" He glared at Phoenix. "You know I ABHOR criminals..."

Phoenix sighed. "Come on, you don't know if she's guilty yet! Innocent until proven guilty, remember?"

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. "Is that how it works? I always thought it was the other way around..."

Phoenix felt like crying. _What is wrong with our government?!_ "Look, you basically shot down every other option I could think of," he said to Edgeworth. "And don't think this is just gonna be hard on you. I-" He sighed. "I still believe in my client. I can't make myself start accusing her without really, really good reason."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Then surely you don't wish to do this, either."

Phoenix groaned. "But what else can we do?!"

"Well, you know..." Larry chimed in. "You could always just try to lose."

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "...Indeed." He smirked. "Since, for all intents and purposes, I am now you, if Phoenix Wright loses, that means Miles Edgeworth wins." Edgeworth paused. "Wait, when did Larry get here?!"

Larry huffed. "Aw, come on, I've been here for, like, ten minutes! You guys seriously didn't notice me?! Some friends you are!"

Phoenix was shocked. He hadn't seen Larry there, either. "So I guess you know what's going on, then...?"

Larry nodded, and grinned mischievously. "You know, somehow I always knew you two would end up in each other's pants..."

"WHAAAT?!" both Phoenix and Edgeworth yelled in unison. Larry cackled. "Get it?! You're wearing each other's pants..." He smiled mockingly. "Aww, come on, you're so cute together! I'm not judging you!"

Edgeworth growled. "Larry Butz, you are the single-most idiotic person I have EVER met. How do you even live with yourself?!"

Phoenix shrugged. "Well, you know the saying... when something smells-"

"Don't." Edgeworth sighed. "You don't even need to say it."

Larry folded his arms. "So... does that mean you're not denying it?"

"NO!" Edgeworth glared at him. "I am DEFINITELY denying it! There is not a single ounce of truth to anything you just said!"

Phoenix sighed. "Great. You probably just made it worse..."

Larry cackled again. "Well, I guess I'd better be going," he said. "I've got a date with my new girlfriend Chelsea early tomorrow morning." As he opened the door, he looked over his shoulder. "Thanks for the party, Nickles." He winked. "Have fun in Edgey's pants!"

"Larry..." Phoenix growled, but he was already gone. However, Larry's suggestion about throwing the trial had lodged itself in the back of his mind. Phoenix wondered if he could bring himself to actually do it. He shook his head. He'd cross that bridge when he got to it. For now, though... "Edgeworth." He held out his hand. "I'll prosecute your case. And I promise to try my best... unless it looks like my client's in real trouble."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "And what will you do then?"

Phoenix couldn't hold Edgeworth's gaze. He was just too uncomfortable seeing that glare on his own face. "I... don't know. I don't know what I'll do. Maybe try to extend the trial as much as I can." He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe Maya will be back before the end of the third day..."

Maya nodded. "I'll try my best to make it back as soon as possible..."

Edgeworth thought for a moment. Then he nodded. "Alright. I'll accept that, and I, in turn, promise to defend your client..." He scowled. "...though she is obviously guilty..." He folded his arms. "But if it looks like the judge might declare a 'not guilty' before we can switch back, then I cannot vouch for my actions, either."

Phoenix nodded, and Edgeworth shook his hand. "Deal."

"So..." Maya glanced at Phoenix. "Who's going to be your co-counsel, then, Nickles?"

Phoenix scratched his head. "Umm... that's a good question... I was thinking about asking Pearls..."

Gumshoe shook his head. "That's no good, pal. You defense attorneys usually do whatever the heck you want, but prosecutors have to get co-counsel pre-approved by the Chief."

Edgeworth nodded. "No one bothers you about your strange 'assistants' because they know you're a basket case," he said dryly, "but if my co-workers saw 'me' dragging a little girl (who is not even a relative, I might add) to crime scenes and whatnot, I would not have a fun day at work the next day."

Phoenix sighed. _Dang it... I was really hoping I could at least get Mia to help me out a little..._

"Hey, don't sweat it, Nickles," Kay chimed in, slapping him on the back. "I can help you investigate if there's a second trial day... and Ms. von Karma's gonna be your co-counsel in court."

Phoenix cringed. "Not her... anyone but her..."

Edgeworth smirked. "Don't worry, Wright. I'm her 'Bruderchen'... her 'little brother.' So she won't whip you the way she usually does."

Phoenix sighed. "That's a relief..."

Edgeworth grinned maliciously. "She'll whip you even harder..."

Phoenix gaped.

Kay grinned. "Don't worry, Nickles! I can stash a First-Aid Kit behind the prosecutor's bench if you want..."

Phoenix gulped. "No thanks. I'll be fine." He decided it was time to change the subject. "Um, so what about Pearls? Is she going back to Kurain with you, Maya?"

Maya nodded. "That would probably be best. It would be hard for you to take care of her right now..."

"HOLD IT!"

Phoenix whipped around. Framed in the doorway stood Pearls, little hands on her hips. She looked determined.

"I have to stay!" she protested. "If both Mystic Maya and I leave, there won't be anyone with any spiritual experience here. Something really bad might happen and you wouldn't even know!"

Maya looked surprised. "But Pearly, you wouldn't be able to stay with Nickles..."

Pearls folded her arms. "Then I'll stay with Mr. Wright-werth."

Edgeworth made a strange noise. "Ah, I don't believe that's a very good idea... To be perfectly frank, I'm no good at taking care of anything."

"Aww, come on," Kay said, grabbing his tie again. "It'll be just like taking care of Pess, but smaller."

Edgeworth glared at her. "I fail to see how that compares."

Phoenix wondered who Pess was, but he didn't feel like now was the time to ask. He turned to Pearls. "Are you sure? You really don't need to do this if you don't want to."

Pearls looked up at him. "I want to." She fidgeted. "I wasn't really asleep. I heard what happened... how I messed up the Spirit Severing technique." She hung her head. "It's my fault this happened. I... I need to help somehow!"

Edgeworth stared at her with this weird look on his face. Phoenix wasn't sure if that meant he was sympathetic or uncomfortable. It was even more difficult to read his emotions now; Phoenix was pretty sure neither of them had gotten quite used to the workings of their new faces yet.

Eventually, Edgeworth spoke. "Well, I think it's very brave of you to want to help," he said to Pearls. "Are your parents..." He paused as he noticed Phoenix frantically motioning 'no' in every way he could think of. The last thing they needed was an even more depressed Pearls.

Edgeworth quickly corrected himself. "Ah, are you sure you want to stay with me?"

Pearls nodded. "That is, um, if it's alright with you, Mr. Wright-werth..."

Edgeworth nodded. "I'll... do my best to make things easier for you..."

Phoenix smiled. Apparently, even Edgeworth was not impervious to Pearl's formidable puppy eyes. "Well, now that everything's been taken care of, I should probably start kicking you all out of my office," he joked, glancing at the clock. "It's getting pretty late..."

Maya nodded. "I should probably be going, then." She pounced on Phoenix and hugged him tight. "Bye, Nickles," she said. "Try not to fail too much without me."

She let go and turned towards the door. Before she could leave, Kay slapped her on the back. "It was nice meeting you," she said, and grinned. "Maybe we can filch ourselves some burgers when you get back!"

Maya grinned. "Right!" She turned and headed out the door.

Gradually, everyone started to say their goodbyes and filter out. Edgeworth turned to Phoenix. "I'll go back to my house. We can exchange case files at the court house tomorrow."

Phoenix nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Pearls smiled. "You know, you two actually work pretty well together. You should be a team!"

Phoenix and Edgeworth looked at Pearls, looked at each other, then turned back to Pearls. "Not a chance."

* * *

**Author's Note: This chapter was extraordinarily long. There was a lot of stuff I had to establish... they probably won't be this long from now on.**

**Edgey spent months on his case. Phoenix only spent weeks. **

**Also, sorry Larry; it's not that kind of fic. XD**


	3. Settling In

Date: August 3

Time: 10:15 p.m.

Location: Matlock Apartments, third floor

Phoenix groaned. It had taken him almost an hour to reach his apartment on foot. "Stupid Edgeworth," he muttered. "Just goes and drives off in that obnoxious car of his and takes my bus pass with him. Does he even know he's driving without his license?!"

Phoenix stumbled towards the door to his apartment. Edgeworth's shoes were most certainly not made for walking; his feet were killing him. Not to mention the fact that the idiotic cravat was still annoying as heck. He'd tried to take it off as he walked, but the apparently complex process of removing the neck-cloth eluded him. It seemed like it had actually tightened.

Once in front of his familiar door, he rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a set of keys. Eyes half-closed, he pushed the smallest key into the lock. It didn't fit. Dazed, he jiggled it around for a bit, but it still refused to fit into the lock.

Phoenix groaned. _Crap..._ He tried all of the other keys, but none of them worked. He'd already realized, of course, that they were not his keys, but he still tried them all in the deluded hope that he'd given Edgeworth a spare. No such luck.

Phoenix held his head in his hands and leaned back against the wall. He felt absolutely ridiculous. Of course, he could always call Edgeworth and ask for his keys, but he wasn't quite ready to admit defeat yet. So, he slid to the ground and just sat there with his forehead resting on his thighs.

Suddenly, the song "Idiot Friends" started blaring from his pants pocket. Phoenix pulled out Edgeworth's phone and checked the caller I.D.: it read "Phoenix Wright."

Phoenix sighed. He'd have to change that ring tone... "What's up?"

"Wright." Edgeworth sounded frustrated. His voice was hushed. "I can't get into my house."

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I have your keys. But why are you whispering?"

"Because the servants think I'm a burglar or something, " he hissed. "We need to meet."

Phoenix blinked. "Wait, the servants? You have servants?!"

"Just a butler, maid, cook, and gardener," Edgeworth said matter-of-factly. Something rustled. "Just come meet me here. It's only twenty minutes from your office."

Phoenix gagged. "Ha ha, NO. You come meet me at my apartment. I can't walk another step." He gave Edgeworth some directions to his apartment, then paused. He heard that rustling again. "Where are you?"

Edgeworth was quiet for a second, then whispered, "I'm in the bushes. I think it's alright to come out now, though." More rustling. "I'll meet you over there."

Phoenix sighed. "Right." He hung up and let his head rest against the wall. He was exhausted. After about five minutes of waiting, his eyelids started to feel heavy. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Wright. Wright. Wake up."

"..."

"Is he drooling..?"

"Wright!"

"Hee hee... Mr. Nickles looks funny! We should sharpie his face..."

Phoenix groaned and rubbed his eyes. Pearls stood over him, grinning. "Hi, Mr. Nickles!" She bounced up and down happily. "Mr. Wright-werth and I had an adventure!"

Phoenix spotted Edgeworth waiting near the door to the stairs. He had tiny leaves stuck in his hair, and he looked peeved.

Phoenix yawned and stood up. "Really? What kind of adventure?"

Pearls giggled. "We got to hide in the bushes and then sneak to the car. It was just like a spy movie!"

Edgeworth huffed. "Wright, we have a serious problem."

Phoenix smirked. "I gathered." He pulled the keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of Edgeworth. "I'll give you these for my keys and bus pass."

Edgeworth shook his head. "I'm afraid we won't even be able to stay in our own houses." He plucked a couple of shrubbery leaves out of his hair. "Or at least, I won't. I've just been chased off my own property by an angry gardener armed with shears and threatening to cut the spikes off my hair."

Phoenix almost laughed. So that was Pearl's 'adventure'. Well, if Edgeworth had servants, Phoenix certainly wasn't opposed to a change in living arrangements... "Tell you what, Edgeworth," he said, and smirked. "You can stay in my apartment if I get your place."

Edgeworth shrugged. "It doesn't matter much to me."

Phoenix grinned greedily. "You might as well fork over the car, too..."

Edgeworth folded his arms. "Certainly not! You don't even have a license!"

Phoenix reached into his pocket. "Actually..." He pulled out Edgeworth's wallet. "I have one now. In fact, if anyone shouldn't be driving, it's you." He smirked and wagged his finger. "Shame on you, driving without a license. That's illegal, you know."

Edgeworth groaned. He looked seriously upset. "But... you... you can't just take my car!" He sounded like he was going to cry. "You have no idea how to drive it!"

Phoenix shrugged. "Eh, I'm told it's pretty easy." He smiled. "Don't worry, Edgeworth, I won't bang up your car too much."

Pearls pouted. "Aww, so I guess we'll have to ride the bus now, Mr. Wright-werth..." She glanced up at Edgeworth. "Your car was nice..."

"Was?" Phoenix was miffed. "Don't act like I've destroyed it already, Pearls!"

Edgeworth sighed. "Fine, you win, Wright. I parked in the garage downstairs."

Phoenix pumped his fist. "Yes!"

Edgeworth scowled. "But if I see one scratch on it when this is all over, I am going to KILL you."

Phoenix believed him. "Don't worry, I'll be careful." He pulled Edgeworth's keys out of his pocket. "Alright, which one's which?"

* * *

Edgeworth sighed. Wright had finally left, and he was now alone with Pearl Fey and the mysterious unknown that was Wright's apartment. Most people would probably find it strange that though he and Wright professed to be friends, neither one of them had actually seen the inside of the other's living arrangements. Then again, their categorization as 'friends' was probably stretching things a bit at times...

Edgeworth reached into the blue suit's right pocket and pulled out Wright's keys. Apparently, the smallest key would unlock the apartment. Since Wright didn't own a car, Edgeworth assumed that the others were for Wright & Co. Law Offices. Since he did not intend on visiting that idiocy-infested cave of an office again no matter how badly the trial went, he felt it safe to assume that the other keys would be of no use to him.

Edgeworth turned the key in the lock and opened the door. Pearl brushed past him and skipped happily inside. _She must come here often..._

Edgeworth stepped inside and flicked the light switch. Fearing the worst, he was relatively surprised to find that the apartment was actually fairly clean. It was rather small, and none of the furniture matched anything else, but it was not nearly as disorderly as Edgeworth had initially expected. Granted, it wasn't exactly sparkling, either (was that a sock stuck in that potted plant?), but he could live with this. As he looked around, Edgeworth noticed that almost all the walls featured at least two poorly-framed artworks of some sort. They were of varying quality, but they all seemed to have the same central style. _Strange..._ Edgeworth thought to himself. He hadn't figured Wright for an art aficionado.

Pearl bounced over to the couch and sat down. "So, what are we going to do now, Mr. Wright-werth?" she asked brightly.

Edgeworth sighed. "Aren't you tired? It's awfully late, Ms. Fey..."

Pearl giggled. "You're so much more sophisticated than Mr. Nick! But you don't have to call me 'Ms. Fey' all the time."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Well, what would you like me to call you, then?" He really was unsure... Pearl Fey seemed to have at least three different names.

Pearl thought about it. "Well, my mother wants people to call me 'Mystic Pearl,' but I let Mr. Nick call me 'Pearls,' so I guess you can, too, if you want."

"Alright then, Pearls," Edgeworth said. He folded his arms. "Now it's time for _someone_ to get some sleep..."

Pearls pouted. "Aww, come on..." She started chewing on her thumbnail. "Mr. Nick lets me stay up late..."

"'Mr. Nick' is an irresponsible man," Edgeworth pointed out. "Besides, you need to be rested properly if you want to come with me to the trial tomorrow."

Pearls huffed and hopped off the couch. "Okay..." She headed towards the bedroom, then stopped and turned around. "Aren't you coming, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth shook his head. "No... I'm going to see if Wright kept any of his papers for tomorrow's trial here." Pearls didn't seem satisfied somehow, so he continued. "I suppose I'll just... ah... sleep on the couch, so I won't disturb you..."

Pearls started biting her thumbnail again. "Oh... um..." She looked slightly upset.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just..." Pearls fidgeted. "Well... sometimes, I get scared when it's dark, so..." She looked up at Edgeworth. "Mr. Nick usually lets me sleep next to him."

Edgeworth faltered. "Oh... well..." A feeling of intense awkwardness came over him. He knew it wasn't unusual for small children to crawl into their parents' beds at night, but he didn't feel particularly qualified to be comforting any such small children. Besides, though his consistent nightmares had more or less stopped since the conclusion of DL-6, every once in a while...

Pearls stared up at him expectantly. She looked so fragile; like one of those tiny porcelain dolls. He was reminded for an instant of Franziska when she was young... she used to cute like this, too...

Edgeworth sighed. "Alright... I suppose I can look for files in the morning if I get up a little early..."

Pearls beamed. "Thank you!" She skipped into the bedroom, and Edgeworth followed her. Once inside, Pearls bounced up onto the bed and kicked off her sandals. Edgeworth followed suit, sitting down on the left side of the bed and starting to untie his shoelaces. Immediately, something glaringly out of place caught his eye. Edgeworth's brow furrowed; he was wearing white socks. He shook his head. _Typical Wright... can't even manage to dress correctly..._

Pearls glanced over at him. "Oh... I guess you need to get changed, huh?" She placed her hands over her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't look!"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes at her. "There are other rooms in this apartment, you know..."

Pearls giggled. "Oh, alright..." She jumped off the bed and went out into the hall. Edgeworth closed the door and moved over towards a set of drawers. _He's got to have a set of pajamas in here somewhere..._

After opening and rifling through four different drawers, Edgeworth finally found a pair of pale blue shorts and a tee-shirt that might have been Wright's version of sleepwear. He pulled off the blue jacket and slid off the tie, making sure to leave just enough of it knotted so he could slip it on tomorrow without having to re-tie it. To be honest, he'd never tied a tie in his life.

When he'd finished changing, he opened the door and joined Pearls in the hallway. The little girl guided Edgeworth to Wright's bathroom, the medicine cabinet of which apparently housed a toothbrush bought specifically for her use. "There's one for Mystic Maya, too," Pearls commented, squeezing toothpaste onto her toothbrush. "She's stayed here before."

Edgeworth searched the cabinet; he'd just have to assume that the only toothbrush that wasn't pink was his... er, Wright's. He started brushing his teeth. It was still strange seeing Wright's face in the mirror. He wondered if he'd ever get used to it... he hoped not.

After Pearls and Edgeworth had finished brushing, the two made their way back to the bedroom. Pearls snuggled under the sheets; she looked perfectly at home here. Edgeworth felt like an outsider; like he was invading Wright's cozy little niche. He sighed and turned out the lights. Feeling his way over to the bed, he carefully wriggled under the sheets, trying to leave a little distance between Pearls and himself. Pearls must have sensed his awkwardness, because she didn't attempt to move herself any closer to him. She did, however, turn her head towards him. "Good night, Mr. Wright-werth," she whispered.

Edgeworth stared up at the ceiling. "Good night."

* * *

Phoenix pulled the key out of the ignition, undid his seatbelt, and staggered out of the car. He felt almost seasick; driving was harder than it looked. Thankfully, no one had died, and he'd managed to find Edgeworth's address after only five tries. The driveway was long and winding; just getting to the house itself had tested his non-existent turning skills to the limit.

Phoenix stumbled up a narrow pathway leading to the house. He couldn't see much of the house itself in the darkness; however, what he could see in the light from the two outdoor lights amazed him. The house was kind of old-fashioned-looking, grey stone, and HUGE. In fact, it was probably more of a 'mansion' than a 'house.' It had to have at least three floors, and sported two separate wings on either side of the front entrance. Phoenix was pretty sure the double doors were worth more than he was. It was the kind of place that made him think of Gatsby-esque "old money," or some prominent English family. He'd always known Edgeworth was rich, but this... Why on earth Edgeworth had never brought this up before he had no idea.

Phoenix walked up to the doors and inspected Edgeworth's key ring. "Let's see..." he mumbled. "The big brass one unlocks the deadbolt, and the tiny silver one is for...um..."

Suddenly, the door opened of its own accord. Phoenix yelped and jumped back, dropping the keys. As he scrambled to retrieve them, he caught a glimpse of a man framed in the doorway. He was dressed in a black suit and tie, and he seemed a little worried. "I'm sorry, sir," the other man said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Phoenix scrambled to his feet and brushed the dust off his knees. He felt like an idiot. "Oh, no, um, I mean, it's fine..." he stammered. Reflexively, he started scratching the back of his head and smiling stupidly, the way he did when he screwed something up in court. _Pull it together, Phoenix, it's just the butler._

The man stared at him. "Pardon me for asking, but is everything alright? You're home three hours later than usual."

Phoenix stepped inside and shrugged. "The party ran late."

The butler cleared his throat. "There was also an... incident of sorts. Apparently, a spiky-haired man was trespassing on the grounds."

Phoenix smiled. Here was a chance to do something fun... "Oh, it was just Mr. Wright. He's actually a good friend of mine... if you see him around here again, let him in and offer him some coffee." He thought for a second. "And make him cake."

The butler looked pretty incredulous, but he nodded. "Will you be needing anything else tonight?"

Phoenix shook his head. "Nah, I'm good, thanks." Turning his back on the butler, he stuck the keys back in his pocket and strode down the hallway. _That wasn't so_ _hard..._

The butler watched him go and sighed. Mr. Edgeworth sure was acting strangely... He shrugged and started to walk up the stairs.

"HOLD IT!" Phoenix rushed back into the room, sliding haphazardly across the hardwood floor.

The butler raised an eyebrow. "...yes?"

Phoenix scratched the back of his head and smiled, embarrassed. "How do I get to the bedroom from here?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay, a whole chapter without a single hint of plot! :D (Don't worry, it's coming.)**

**Nickles got two chunks 'o text this time... poor Edgey only got one. I'll have to make it up to him later...**

**Also, Phoenix Wright really does wear white socks with his dark suit and black shoes. It's in the movie. It's hilarious. Although, in the manga, Edgeworth doesn't wear socks at all, so I guess he shouldn't be complaining. Maybe that's why Phoenix's feet hurt...**

**Matlock Apartments. Because I can.**


	4. Trial Preparations

Date: August 4

Time: ?

Location: Dartmoor Manor

Phoenix yawned and rubbed his eyes. He could see sunlight filtering in from behind the curtains. Yawning again, he sat up and stretched.

The end of last night had been a bit of a blur for him; he was completely exhausted. Plus, he vaguely remembered Edgeworth having a glass or five of wine at the party. Embarrassingly, he'd had to ask Edgeworth's butler to show him around. The man probably thought he was on drugs or something... he was probably acting like it. Butler kept saying things like 'are you sure you're alright?' and raising his eyebrows. Phoenix didn't really care much, though. Technically, this was all Edgeworth's problem.

Phoenix got out of bed slowly. He didn't remember changing into pajamas, but he found himself wearing a matching shirt and pants. They were pastel pink. Phoenix grinned. Pfft. Of course they were pink. He briefly considered taking a picture of himself for Facebook- er, posterity, but decided against it. Figuring out how to work Edgeworth's phone and even finding his computer were daunting tasks that would probably only distract-

"WOOF!" Suddenly, Phoenix heard a loud bark from a corner of the room. As he turned to look, he felt something barrel into him, and yelped as he was knocked to the floor. What the heck?! he thought, and looked up. His entire field of vision was filled with the furry, slobbering, brown and black face of an enormous, excited dog. The dog had him pinned to the floor with its paws on his shoulders; Phoenix was too shocked to try to escape. Edgeworth had never mentioned anything about a dog... it wasn't even a small dog... he was pretty sure it was a Doberman.

The dog licked his nose and barked. Yep, definitely a Doberman. Phoenix struggled to wriggle his way out from under the big dog, who seemed to be trying to give him a bath. Finally, he managed to free himself, and sat down on the floor in front of the dog, who eyed him expectantly. Phoenix caught sight of a thin, red collar with a small, round dog tag attached. He reached carefully for the tag, figuring it might be a good idea to know the dog's name. After reading the tag, he raised an eyebrow. "'Pess'?" he questioned aloud, staring at the dog. "What kind of a name is that?! I can't even tell if you're a boy or a girl!" Pess licked his hand. Phoenix frowned. "Well, I guess I could, but I don't really feel like seeing that right now."

Pess leaned forward and rested his (Phoenix was gonna guess 'boy') head in Phoenix's lap. Phoenix sighed and started to pet the dog. And he was trying so hard not to get distracted... what time was it, anyway? He stood up and looked around for a clock, Pess nudging his legs. After a couple seconds, he spotted a digital alarm clock on a small chest of drawers next to the bed. It read: 8:37.

Phoenix gasped. "Crap!" The trial started at 9:00, and he was still in his pajamas! He hadn't even taken the time to figure out where Edgeworth kept his files... plus, the drive here from his apartment had taken him almost half an hour. The courthouse was even further away.

He rushed around the room, picking up the clothes he'd worn yesterday and throwing them on. He didn't have time to be rooting through Edgeworth's closet... he doubted anyone would notice. He found the cravat lying undone on the floor; he had no idea how to tie it, so he let it go.

He rushed into the bathroom, brushed his teeth for about two seconds, ran a comb through his hair, and rushed out, heading for the hallway. Pess followed him, nipping at his heels. Phoenix turned to shoo the dog away. "Not now!" he hissed, and dug through his pockets until he grasped Edgeworth's phone. He pulled it out and dialed his own number hurriedly.

Edgeworth picked up on the second ring. "What do you want, Wright?"

"The files!" Phoenix gasped. "Where did you put your files for today?!"

Edgeworth sighed. "Franziska von Karma has them. She is, after all, my- er, your co-counsel. She wanted to make sure they were 'perfect' before today's proceedings. She might give them to you when you get to the courthouse."

Phoenix breathed a sigh of relief. Franziska would probably skin him alive, but at least he didn't have to run around searching for files in this giant house. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you there... maybe..."

Edgeworth groaned. "You're going to be dreadfully late, aren't you?"

"NO!" Phoenix shouted, perhaps a little too emphatically, and hung up. He shoved the phone back in his pocket and raced for the door.

Butler watched him from the base of the stairs. "Um, aren't you going to have any breakfast, sir?"

Phoenix shook his head. "No way, gotta run!" He paused. "Well... are there any bagels?"

Five minutes later, Phoenix ran out the front door and jumped into the car with keys in hand and a bagel in his mouth. As he roared down the driveway, he hoped and prayed that he wouldn't get to the trial too late...

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 6:30 a.m.

Location: Matlock Apartments, Apartment 305

Edgeworth's eyes snapped open as soon as the alarm clock started to go off. Bleary-eyed, he reached over to the bedside table and turned it off. He laid his head back and allowed himself a long yawn.

Something warm was pressed against his side. At first, he thought it was Pess. Then he remembered... he wasn't at home. He turned his head to the left. Pearls had turned towards him in her sleep, and was now cuddled at his side, little arms wrapped around his left elbow. She was still asleep; apparently she hadn't heard the alarm.

Edgeworth sighed. He'd been hoping to get some preparation in before he had to take Wright's case to trial, so he'd decided to get up early. Now he had to figure out a way to get out of bed without waking Pearls. Very carefully, he started to slide his left arm out from between her arms. He moved painstakingly slowly, in order to avoid bumping her as much as possible. It was kind of like that game... what was it called? Operation.

After a couple of minutes, he managed to successfully extract his arm. Pearls slept on, apparently unaware of his absence. Edgeworth breathed a silent sigh of relief, then snuck out of the room as quietly as he could. Once in the hall, he headed for the living room in hopes of finding a kitchen. Conveniently, thanks to the apartment's limited space, the kitchen was actually connected to the living room, so he stepped inside and began searching for breakfast foods. Not used to cooking, he was glad to find a wide variety of cold cereals, granola bars, and toaster pastries that required little to no preparation. He grabbed a pack of strawberry Pop-Tarts and poured himself a glass of orange juice, not bothering to actually put the Pop-Tarts in the toaster.

After he finished eating, Edgeworth moved to the bathroom and brushed his teeth for exactly two minutes. He then washed his face thoroughly, decided he'd take a shower in the evening, and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed.

Careful not to wake Pearls, he rummaged through Wright's closet until he found a clean white shirt that at least looked like it had been ironed. He then donned the blue suit, pulled on a pair of BLACK socks, and slid the tie over his head. He checked the alarm clock: 7:13. The trial would start at 9:00 a.m. sharp; since he was now forced to find public transportation, it would probably be safest to leave by 8:15 at the latest. That gave him about an hour to find Wright's files and put together a strategy. Not as much time as he'd like, but beggars can't be choosers.

Edgeworth left the bedroom and went into the living room. Standing in the middle of the room, he folded his arms. "If I were Wright," he mumbled to himself, "where would I keep my files?"

As he scanned the room, nothing file-shaped presented itself. He sighed. Apparently it was too much to hope that Wright had any kind of organizational skills when it came to these things. The papers were probably buried in a sock drawer somewhere.

Suddenly, he spotted a glint of metal in the corner, nearly obscured by a large potted plant. Edgeworth pushed the leaves aside, revealing a small metal filing cabinet. He shook his head. "What's the point of having a filing cabinet if you're just going to hide it behind a plant?" he muttered, pulling open the top drawer.

Since this was Wright's home and not his office, Edgeworth hadn't been expecting a library. He was, however, slightly shocked to discover only one lonely-looking manilla folder inside the drawer. He checked the rest of the drawers, but found them all to be empty. Returning to the top drawer, he pulled out the folder and was immediately taken aback by how thin it was. He furrowed his eyebrows. Surely this couldn't be Wright's whole case?! He checked the name on the tab: Marie D'angelo, the defendant. So it was the right case... Edgeworth felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead. He stared at the file. _This is all I have to work with?!_

He sat down on the couch and hesitantly opened the file. He wasn't so sure he wanted to see what was inside anymore...

The first page appeared to be a standard, cut-and-dry case summary. Paperclipped to the summary were photos of the victim, Kyle D'angelo, and his wife, the defendant. Wright's client. Edgeworth grimaced. He'd spent months working under the assumption that this woman was guilty... it had taken all of his willpower to even entertain the idea of defending her. Still, he'd do what needed to be done until Maya Fey returned from God-knows-where. He comforted his conscience by promising himself he'd convict her the instant he got his body back.

He studied the defendant's photo. Marie D'angelo was a slight woman with wispy blonde hair and a round, pale face. Her large blue eyes and small nose gave her a child-like appearance; even in the police mug shot, she smiled sweetly, as if being arrested was somehow a pleasant experience. Edgeworth scowled. Her whole appearance screamed 'innocent,' but when he studied her, he could see it in the fine lines under her eyes, in the tiny wrinkles that tugged at the corners of her mouth; the look of a worn and tired woman. The police had first suspected her because of a neighbor who'd witnessed Kyle emotionally abusing his wife two days before the incident... Edgeworth had planned on calling that neighbor to testify at the trial.

He shook his head. He had to keep reminding himself that he was defending Marie D'angelo; thinking about all the reasons she could've had to kill her husband was not effective preparation. He read through the case summary, even though he already knew about all the facts listed there. It never hurt to brush up on the basic facts of a case... especially now that he'd have to force himself to see them in a new light.

Kyle D'angelo had been stabbed five times in the chest with a common steak knife. His body was found in a shallow makeshift grave at the edge of the D'angelo property, next to a large tree in the backyard. The knife was found lying next to him in the dirt with its handle missing. Interestingly, the ring finger on his left hand had been chopped off and flung into the bushes; when police recovered the severed digit, they discovered that Kyle's wedding ring was still on it. Marie D'angelo claimed that she had been hiking in a secluded forest area while the crime was taking place, but of course no one was able to confirm her alibi.

Edgeworth tapped his finger. How could this information help his client? There was nothing particularly definitive for either side here. He looked over the summary again. The bit about the ring finger bothered him. He supposed he could try to use that to introduce the possibility of a jealous lover... although speculation was frowned upon and he wasn't nearly as good at bluffing as Wright was. Still, he might be able to run with that if he had to.

Having gotten all the information he could out of the summary, Edgeworth flipped to the next page in the file. It was a photocopy of Marie D'angelo's letter of request for Phoenix Wright's services. Since the initial investigations were already over, he probably wouldn't be needing that. He flipped to the next page. It was a copy of Kyle D'angelo's autopsy report, approved for defense use by none other than Detective Gumshoe. The only really interesting thing contained therein concerned the approximate moment of death; the M.E. had determined that Kyle died almost instantly after the first stab. The first three stab wounds also showed hesitation marks, which were not present in stabs four and five. This pointed to a crime of passion committed by someone who, at first, didn't really want to kill Kyle D'angelo... i.e. his wife. Edgeworth sighed. This report had been gold to him yesterday, but now he'd have to think of a way to try and keep it from coming up at trial; it could only hurt the defense. He flipped to the next page.

This page was a list of all the physical evidence Wright had found at the scene; the words 'Court Record' were printed in bold at the top. Edgeworth wasn't quite sure why they were there, but he'd already decided not to think about these quirky Wright-isms too much. As he read through the list, he scowled. Most of this 'evidence' seemed to be completely useless. There was a bubble gum wrapper, an unidentified leaf, a newspaper clipping from five years ago, some blonde hairs, the tab from a soda can, and a small gold ring. Wright had written notes concerning this 'evidence' in the margins; apparently, he'd had the ring measured, because he'd written 'too small' next to its picture. Edgeworth stroked his chin. Too small for what? Was this Marie D'angelo's wedding ring? He had no idea.

Edgeworth continued to flip through the file. After nearly fifty minutes had gone by, he realized he had no idea what he was doing. If Wright had prepared any statements, or even a strategy at all, he couldn't find them. He held his head in his hands. "What in the world am I supposed to do?!"

"Just wing it!"

Edgeworth looked up. Pearls stood framed in the bedroom doorway, smiling brightly. "Don't look so worried, Mr. Wright-werth," she said. "Mr. Nick goes to court with nothing useful all the time!"

Edgeworth stared at her. He hadn't seen her get up. "...Do you need anything?" he asked. "Did you get breakfast?"

Pearls looked at him. "Yeah, I ate already... and brushed my teeth, too. I said 'good morning' to you twice." She looked amazed. "You must focus really well, Mr. Wright-werth! I can't believe Mr. Nick was able to beat someone who works so hard!" She stroked her chin. "Maybe Mr. Nick was lying...?"

Edgeworth felt his face go red. That was the great injustice of it all, wasn't it? He cleared his throat. "Well, he is prone to exaggeration..."

Pearls bounced across the room and flopped down onto the couch next to him. "You'll do fine, I know it," she said, and smiled. "Besides, Marie is innocent, so everything will sort itself out somehow!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to burst the little girl's proverbial bubble, but... "How can you be so sure she's innocent?" he asked. "She doesn't have a valid alibi, and all of the evidence seems to point towards her... if rather vaguely..."

Pearls huffed. "Mr. Nick would never take a case unless he knew his client was innocent! That's why he's so poor! He said it's 'how he rolls.'" She pointed to his right pants pocket. "He has Mystic Maya's Magatama. It shows him when a person is lying, so he always knows if they're innocent or not."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow; even acknowledging the power of the strange object, that seemed like a relatively flimsy reason to trust someone implicitly... however, he wasn't going to argue with Pearls. He checked the clock on the wall; it was already 8:13. He closed the file and stood up. "Well, Pearls, we should probably get going," he said.

Pearls hopped off the couch and stood next to him. She smiled. "Do you know which bus to take, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth blinked. "There's more than one?"

Pearls giggled. "I guess we're gonna have another adventure!"

* * *

Edgeworth led Pearls up the courthouse steps, and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd managed to get on the right bus after only two tries, and they'd arrived at their destination with plenty of time to spare. Just to make sure, he checked his watch; 8:35. He had about half an hour to get acquainted with the defendant lobbies and talk to 'his' client before the trial started.

As they approached Courtroom 3, Pearls pointed down a hallway to the right. "That's where Mr. Nick usually goes to talk to his clients," she said. Edgeworth nodded. "Those rooms down there are the defendant lobbies," he told her. "We can use them to prepare before the trial starts."

Pearls clasped her hands. "Then I guess I should probably call Mystic Mia now..."

Edgeworth turned to look at her. "What? Who's Mystic Mia?"

Suddenly, Wright's cell phone started to ring. Edgeworth fumbled to answer it, inwardly pleased with Wright's choice of ringtone. The caller I.D. read 'Edgeworth.' He sighed and pressed the 'talk' button. "What do you want, Wright?"

"The files!" Wright screamed. "Where did you put your files for today?!"

Edgeworth sighed. Wright was calling him about this now? "Franziska von Karma has them. She is, after all, my- er, your co-counsel." He rolled his eyes. "She wanted to make sure they were 'perfect' before today's proceedings. She might give them to you when you get to the courthouse." _If she doesn't whip you to death first..._

Wright sounded relieved. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you there... maybe..."

Edgeworth groaned. "You're going to be dreadfully late, aren't you?"

"NO!" Wright shouted, then abruptly hung up. Edgeworth stared at the phone in his hand and sighed. He could see the headlines now... 'High Prosecutor Fails to Show Up to Court.' If Franziska didn't knock some sense into that bumbling fool, he might have to do it himself. He put the phone back in his pocket and turned to Pearls. "Which lobby does Wright usually... ack!"

Edgeworth's jaw dropped. There was a... a strange, very amply-endowed woman standing next to him where Pearls had been only a moment ago. But she had the same hairstyle as Pearls, and was wearing the same traditional costume... which was much, much too small for her...

"Wh- What..." He stammered. "Where's Pearls?!"

The woman smiled mischievously at him. "Well, well... when I read Maya's note about your little 'problem,' I honestly didn't expect it to be this funny." She folded her arms. "It'll be interesting working with you this time, Miles Edgeworth. Although, I'm not a fan of how you accused Maya of my murder..."

Edgeworth stared at her. Her face was somewhat familiar... "Just who are you?!"

The woman smiled. "I'm Mia Fey."

* * *

**Author's Note: So much Edgey in this chapter... almost makes one forget Phoenix is in this fic, too...**

**Behold, the case! I feel like it's either going to make no sense or be really lame if I'm not careful... coming up with names was the hardest part.**

**Dartmoor Manor. Because I can. (If anybody gets the location reference this time, I'll love you forever!)**


	5. Trial: Day One

Date: August 4

Time: 8:48 a.m.

Location: District Courtroom No. 3, Defendant Lobby No. 1

Mia leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. "Well, you don't really need an opening statement; as I'm sure you're aware, the prosecution takes care of that under the Bench Trial system." She raised an eyebrow. "Are you planning on sticking around for the closing?"

Edgeworth scowled. "Not if I can help it." He glanced at her, then blushed slightly and turned away. "Can you please stop leaning forward like that?" he muttered. "Or at least... cover them up or something?"

Mia glared at him. "Cover up with what? I can't help it Pearl's clothes are too small." She leaned back in her chair. "Besides, there's always this thing you can do. It's called 'not looking.'"

"I'm trying!" Edgeworth muttered, staring intensely at the wall. "But when you lean forward like that it's really obvious!" He couldn't believe they were having this discussion...

Mia sighed. "I can't believe we're having this discussion..." She folded her hands. "Look, even Phoenix wouldn't go in there without something at least resembling a plan. You do have a strategy, right?"

Edgeworth turned to her. "This case is a mess," he said. "My strategy is to drag it out until your delinquent spirit medium sister returns. Then this will all be Wright's problem, as it should be!"

Mia studied him. Edgeworth scowled. She'd 'offered,' or rather, 'demanded' to assist him in his defense, most likely because she wanted Wright's case to end well. Though the Mia Fey he knew was quite skilled as a lawyer, and he did value her insights on defense, she was a great deal more difficult to manage than Pearls... and she didn't seem to like him very much. Also, she was dead. He still had difficulty wrapping his mind around that one... although, the way things were right now, he really wasn't one to talk. All he knew was that Pearls had channeled her to 'help' him, and she wouldn't leave until court was adjourned for the day.

Mia looked at him. "So, do you think Marie is guilty?"

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. He'd been asking himself this question all morning, but when he really thought about it... "Yes, I suppose I do," he answered curtly. "But it shouldn't matter what I think, as long as I argue my points convincingly."

Mia shook her head. "I can understand you wanting to lose this case. But you have to think about Marie, too... at least for now, she's YOUR client." She looked at him earnestly, like she wanted to teach him something. "Phoenix can't believe in her from across the room," she said. "You're her attorney. If you don't believe in her, who will?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "You can 'believe' all you want," he said, "but that's not going to change anything." He tapped his forehead. "As for me, the only thing I believe in is the truth."

Mia sighed. "Well, I hope you find it." She looked like she wanted to say more, but suddenly there was a knock at the door. The door opened, and a bailiff poked his head inside. "Um, Mr. Wright? Your client's here."

Edgeworth stood and nodded. Mia eyed him from her seat.

The bailiff opened the door. "You've got ten minutes."

Marie D'angelo was nudged unceremoniously into the room. Somehow, her wispy hairdo had managed to survive the time she'd spent in the detention center intact. She jumped a little when the door was closed behind her, then turned to Edgeworth and smiled sweetly. "Things aren't looking very good for my case, are they, Mr. Wright?"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. Why was she so happy? "To be perfectly honest, no, they are not," he said, glancing at Mia. The ghost-lawyer was glaring at him. Edgeworth cleared his throat. "But that's not to say we don't have a chance."

Marie giggled. "Oh, honey, I wish you wouldn't say we still have a chance," she said brightly. "I like to know what to expect, even if it means I'm screwed." She smiled. "I can't wait to get the death penalty!"

Edgeworth was taken aback. "W- What?!" _This woman is_ _a psycho!_ "Then why," he asked, incredulous, "did you even hire Wri- er, me?!"

Marie smiled and giggled again. "Well, I thought that if I was going to be found guilty, I might as well hire a steamy man to fight for me! Those public defenders are all so drab, you know." She studied him. "Although you really could do without the spikes, dear. They make you look like a hedgehog."

Edgeworth scowled. No wonder her marriage had been so troubled... although he did appreciate the hedgehog joke. "Well, it may not be too late to enter a different plea," he said, thinking it would save everyone a whole lot of trouble.

Suddenly, Mia's chair made a loud scraping noise as she leapt to her feet. "That's enough!" She glared pointedly at Edgeworth before turning to Marie. "Don't change your plea," she said firmly. "We're going to get you a 'not guilty.' You're innocent; you're not going to die."

Marie smiled at her. "Aww, thanks, sweetie, but the shadow of death is already upon me." She giggled. "But I'd feel bad lying, so I guess I won't be changing my plea."

Edgeworth frowned. He felt like this woman would be immensely disappointed if she was actually acquitted... He sighed. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 8:56 a.m.

Location: District Courtroom No. 3, Hallway

Phoenix huffed as he ran through the courthouse hallways. He'd probably violated all the traffic laws in existence, but at least he technically wasn't late. Not yet, anyway...

He rounded a corner and stopped dead in his tracks. There, standing at the end of the hallway, waiting for him with her hands on her hips, stood Franziska von Karma. Phoenix gulped. She was much more intimidating in person. He suddenly wasn't sure if he could do this. As quietly as he could, he turned around and tried to sneak away...

"Miles Edgeworth!"

Phoenix cringed. _Drat..._ He turned back around to face Franziska.

The female prosecutor looked absolutely livid. "Miles Edgeworth!" she shouted again. "Komm hier!"

Phoenix stepped towards her and grinned nervously. "Hello, Ms. von Karma..."

"Don't you 'Ms. von Karma' me, Miles Edgeworth!" She lashed him furiously with her whip. Phoenix had to try really, really hard to keep from crying. She was in spectacular form today.

When she'd finished, Franziska folded her arms angrily and burst into a flurry of German. "Was zum Teufel machst du denn?! Du bist unglaublich spaet, du Trottel! Ein Mann, der 'von Karma' heisst, musst in alles absolut perfekt sein! Ich hab' auf dich viel zu lange gewartet, du Narr! Und jetzt sind wir beide spaet! Du hast versprochen, heute punktlich zu sein! Aber deine Versprechen bedeuten immer gar nichts! Ich hasse dich!"

Phoenix stared at her dumbly. "Uh, no comprendo?"

Franziska's eye twitched. "Foolish fool!" She lifted her whip.

*CRACK!*

Phoenix felt the whip sting his face and cried out. The shock alone sent him reeling. He clutched at his face; his left cheek felt like it had been stabbed with a thousand pointy needles and set on fire. "S- Stop it!" he sputtered.

Franziska glared at him. "You. Are. LATE." She handed him a stack of four or five manilla folders; each one looked like it contained the manuscript to a novel. "Luckily for you, I have deemed your files satisfactory, and I've already prepped the witnesses," she said, then glanced at him and furrowed her eyebrows. "Vhat happened to your neck thing?"

Phoenix massaged his cheek. He was sure it was swollen. "Okay, one: it's a cravat. Two: I didn't have time to put it on today. And three: I'm technically not late. It's only..." he checked his (Edgeworth's) watch. "...8:58." He grinned. "See, I still got two minutes."

Franziska sighed. "You know, no one is going to recognize you vithout your frills." She glanced at him. "You do know vhat you're doing, right?"

Phoenix gulped. _Uh oh... I've gotta be really careful about what I say next, or she'll whip me again... but I do need to find out what I'm doing... _"Of course I do," he said, trying his best to sound haughtily offended. "Do you?"

Franziska huffed. "Tja, naturlich. Of course I know vhat I'm doing, you foolish fool!"

Phoenix put his hands on his hips. "Okay, then who's the first witness?"

Franziska wagged her finger at him and tsked. "Did you really think I vouldn't know something so simple, Bruderchen? Of course it's zat scruffy detective, to give the particulars of the case and present the evidence ve found at the scene." She flicked her whip in the air. "You alvays seem to open vith him, don't you? A foolish strategy, if you ask me."

Phoenix shrugged. "And? What evidence will we be presenting?"

Franziska eyed him. "Come on, you know I know zat. The autopsy report and the knife blade."

Hmm... the knife blade. Phoenix remembered reading that the blade belonged to a kitchen knife from the D'angelo's house, but the handle hadn't been found. Was there something about the blade itself that implicated Marie? He'd have to check the file when he got a chance... He folded his arms. "You're right so far... but do you know who the second witness is?"

Franziska huffed. "This is stupid. Vhat is this, Twenty Questions?!"

Phoenix cleared his throat. "I just want to make sure you're prepared..."

Franziska glared at him. "The second witness is the neighbor, Jane Doe. You vere going to have her testify about the fights she overheard between Mr. and Mrs. D'angelo."

Phoenix scratched the back of his head and smiled nervously. "...And my opening statement?"

Franziska growled. "How am I supposed to know vhat you're going to say?!" She flicked her whip dangerously.

Phoenix sighed. He didn't dare push her any further... as far as the opening statement was concerned, he'd just have to improvise.

Suddenly, the doors to the courtroom opened, and a bailiff stepped out. "Ms. von Karma, Mr. Edgeworth," he said. "It's time for the trial to start."

Phoenix nodded. He was starting to feel a little nervous. What would it be like on the other side of the courtroom? Would he even be able to last the first day?

Franziska smiled slyly. "Do you think you vill be able to keep up vith me, Bruderchen? Or vill I have to embarrass you again?"

Phoenix grimaced. "No, that's okay." He doubted that Franziska would even have to try to embarrass him today. He'd most likely end up embarrassing himself. But then again, he always did that anyway...

He stepped through the double doors and entered the courtroom. The gallery was full today; the press had gotten ahold of this case early on and turned it into a bit of a sensation. Phoenix wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Subconsciously, he started walking to the right, but stopped when he saw himself already there. Edgeworth stared at him and raised an eyebrow, then motioned discreetly towards the other side of the courtroom. Phoenix mentally kicked himself, then turned to the left; the prosecutor's bench. As he walked, he could feel Franziska's eyes boring relentlessly into the space between his shoulder blades. She was already trying to kill him with her glare.

Phoenix walked behind the long table and placed the stack of files on its surface. He looked around; the courtroom seemed different somehow from over here. Across from him, he could see Edgeworth fiddling with his case file. Next to him stood Pearls... oh, wait, no, she was too tall and... bosom-y... That had to be Mia. Seeing the mentor who'd saved him countless times from certain defeat standing all the way on the other side of the courtroom made Phoenix feel rather alone.

Mia noticed him watching her; she smiled gently and waved at him. Phoenix gave a sort of half-smile and waved back. Let's see... Edgeworth AND Mia versus him and Female Indiana Jones. If he was a gambling man, he wouldn't like those odds...

As the door to the Judge's chambers opened, the bailiff cleared his throat. "All rise."

Everyone in the courtroom rose to their feet with a loud shuffle as the Judge headed towards his seat at the head of the courtroom. The Judge nodded, told them all to "be seated," then sat himself. "This court is called to order," he said, banging his gavel, "for the trial of Marie D'angelo versus the State of California."

Marie was led into the courtroom by two guards and guided towards the witness stand. Phoenix glanced at her; she looked just as cheerful as always. He wondered if Edgeworth had discovered her quirky side yet...

The Judge cleared his throat. "Marie D'angelo. On the sole count of the indictment, murder in the first degree, how do you plead?"

Marie smiled sweetly up at him. "Not guilty, Your Honor dear."

Phoenix saw Edgeworth groan a bit at this. The Judge blushed slightly and blinked. "Err, um, yes. Indeed."

Phoenix sighed. The old man was obviously smitten... with about every woman who ever entered the courtroom, it seemed. Didn't he have a wife?!

The Judge turned to Edgeworth. "Is the defense ready?"

Edgeworth nodded. "The pro- err, defense is ready, Your Honor." Mia turned to him and tsked mockingly. Edgeworth only glared at her, a slight hint of embarrassment coloring his cheeks. Phoenix cupped a hand over his mouth; he couldn't help but giggle silently. Franziska was eyeing him strangely, arms folded across her chest.

The Judge blinked in confusion, then shook it off and turned to Phoenix. "Is the prosecution ready?"

Phoenix nodded. "Yup." The Judge stared at him. Phoenix scratched the back of his head. Why was he so nervous? "Um, I mean, yes, Your Honor."

The Judge continued to stare at him. "Alright then... Your opening statement, Mr. ...Edgeworth?"

Phoenix glanced up at the Judge. "...um, why did you pause like that, Your Honor?" He gulped. "Is something wrong?"

The Judge blinked. "No, not at all, it's just... well, you seem different today."

Phoenix began to sweat. The Judge couldn't _know_... could he?!

Suddenly, the Judge snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he cried. "You're not wearing your fluttery thing!"

Phoenix wasn't sure if he should sigh in relief or groan and face-palm. Franziska turned to him. "I told you no one vould recognize you," she said smugly.

The Judge cleared his throat. "Anyway... the court would like to hear the State's opening statement."

Phoenix placed his palms on the surface of the table; they were starting to get sweaty. He'd never had to make an opening statement before... he had no idea what to say.

Everyone in the courtroom was watching him expectantly. Phoenix glanced desperately at Edgeworth; the latter merely raised an eyebrow and shook his head. Phoenix would be getting no help from the other side of the room. He gulped, and took a deep breath.

"Well, the defendant is clearly guilty," he said, perhaps a bit louder than he should have. "The State intends to prove this." He paused. "Through, um, witnesses and evidence." Phoenix opened his mouth to say more, but couldn't find the words. He simply stood there staring at everyone else in the courtroom; for their part, they were all staring back at him in total silence. This went on for some time. Phoenix could see Edgeworth grinding his teeth; Mia just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Finally, the Judge cleared his throat. "Sadly, that was one of the better statements I've heard in a while."

Phoenix scratched his head and grinned. "Uh, thank you..?"

"Now then." The Judge turned to Phoenix. "Please call your first witness."

Phoenix nodded. This was where the trial really started. All he could do now was roll with it and try not to die. He cleared his throat. "The prosecution calls Detective Dick Gumshoe to the stand."

* * *

**Author's Note: And once again, absolutely nothing happened. Well, I guess the trial technically started, but still. **

**For your non-German-speaking convenience, I present to you: The Franslator. She said, in English: "What the devil are you doing? You are unbelievably late, you idiot! A von Karma must be absolutely perfect in everything! I waited far too long for you, you fool! And now we're both late! You promised to be on time today. But your promises never mean anything! I hate you!" (Kinda harsh, but Nickles doesn't understand her anyway.) Also, I know there's no Fanzy-accent in the games, but I luff Deutsch und feel like I haff to do it. Besides, there's no conceivable reason I can think of for her not to have one. **

**Mia wants you to believe in the power of friendship, Wrightworth! BELIEVE! *is whipped by Franziska for turning this into a Yu-Gi-Oh fic***

**I drew up a little bonus four-panel quickie comic to go along with this fic; read it if you like, it really doesn't have anything to do with anything. Just remove the spaces, add a colon after the "p," and enjoy (maybe): ht tp / / fav . me / d6cr4cp**


	6. Witness Number One

Detective Gumshoe slowly made his way to the witness stand. Edgeworth watched him carefully; the detective seemed hesitant, and he kept glancing back and forth between Edgeworth and Wright. He probably wasn't sure who to side with. Edgeworth shot him a brief comforting smile, and Gumshoe perked up instantly, giving him a discreet thumbs up. Edgeworth glanced at Wright and smirked. He knew exactly how to manipulate the detective; this witness might as well be in his pocket.

Once Gumshoe reached the stand and was sworn in by the bailiff, Wright cleared his throat. "So, Detective," he said, looking a little nervous, "could you start by telling us the basic facts of the case?"

Edgeworth sighed. Couldn't that idiot do anything right?! "Objection," he said weakly, not even bothering to yell. "The prosecution has failed to lay a proper foundation for the witness."

Wright flinched; Edgeworth could see Franziska glaring at him and reaching for her whip.

The Judge blinked. "Objection sustained." He turned to Wright. "Mr. Edgeworth, aren't you usually a stickler for this kind of thing?"

Wright grinned like an idiot and started scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, Your Honor." He turned back to Gumshoe. "Uh, please state your name and occupation."

The detective nodded. "The name's Dick Gumshoe. I'm a homicide detective with Criminal Affairs."

Wright nodded; Edgeworth noticed that he wasn't quite as nervous now as he had been before. Apparently failure was Wright's comfort zone.

Wright asked Gumshoe for the basic facts again, and the detective glanced over at Edgeworth, as if seeking permission. Edgeworth gave him a slight nod, and Gumshoe turned back to face Wright. "Alright, here's the general gist of things..."

**- - Witness Testimony - -**

**Just the Facts, Ma'am**

**Kyle D'angelo was murdered in his own backyard at around 4:00 in the afternoon. **

**We found him buried in a two-foot grave near a big tree at the edge of the D'angelo property. **

**He'd been stabbed five times in the chest with a kitchen knife that belonged to the D'angelos, but the handle was missing when we found it. **

**The guy's ring finger on his left hand was chopped clean off... we actually found it in the bushes. **

**We picked up the wife as soon as we arrived on the scene. She's the only one who could'a done it! **

Wright stared at the detective. "Is... that it?!"

Gumshoe huffed. "Hey, pal, you asked for the basics, so I gave ya the basics. No need to get all demanding."

The Judge turned to Edgeworth. "Mr. Wright, you may begin your cross-examination."

Edgeworth nodded stiffly. Gumshoe's testimony was always bad, but he'd never seen it from over here. There was absolutely nothing there for him to work with.

He glanced at Mia. The ghost-lawyer shook her head. "You won't be able to find any contradictions with that testimony alone," she said. "Press him until he gives us something to work with."

Edgeworth scowled. "I know how to cross-examine a witness, thank you." He folded his arms. "Whoever said I needed any help from you?"

Mia sighed and threw her hands in the air. "Fine, be stubborn if you want." She grinned slyly. "But I know a 'help-me-Mia' look when I see one."

Edgeworth decided to ignore her. He turned to Gumshoe. "Detective, would you mind repeating your testimony?"

Gumshoe nodded enthusiastically. "Sure thing, sir!"

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**Kyle D'angelo was murdered in his own backyard at around 4:00 in the afternoon. **

**We found him buried in a two-foot grave near a big tree at the edge of the D'angelo property. **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth paused. He couldn't remember what he was going to say... gosh dangit... He cleared his throat. "Um... what kind of tree was it?"

Gumshoe scratched his head. "Oh, gee, well, I don't know... it might'a been one of those pine trees. You know, with the little tiny needles and stuff." He raised an eyebrow. "Hey, now that I think about it, all the trees in the neighborhood were like that. It musta been some kinda pine forest or something!"

Wright sighed. "No one cares about the trees, Gumshoe. He was just bluffing."

Edgeworth recoiled. _Curse him! How did he know?!_

The Judge glanced at Edgeworth. "Well, Mr. Wright? Are the trees important?"

Edgeworth ground his teeth. He would not be embarrassed like this! "Yes, they are," he said. "The trees are very important!"

The Judge looked skeptical, but he nodded. "Alright then... Detective, please add this detail to your testimony."

Gumshoe nodded. "Yes sir."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**The only trees in that area were pine trees or something. **

**He'd been stabbed five times in the chest with a kitchen knife that belonged to the D'angelos, but the handle was missing when we found it. **

**The guy's ring finger on his left hand was chopped clean off... we actually found it in the bushes. **

**We picked up the wife as soon as we arrived on the scene. She's the only one who could'a done it! **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth slammed his desk with his right hand. "What makes you think that Marie D'angelo is the only possible suspect?"

Gumshoe pouted. "Well, when you say it like that, sir, I guess-"

"OBJECTION!" Wright slammed both of his palms on the surface of his desk. "Don't listen to him, Gumshoe! He's just trying to badger you." Wright placed his hands on his hips and grinned slyly. "You're sure it had to be her... so tell us why!"

Edgeworth blinked. Wright actually seemed to be improving quickly... Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of Franziska, whip at the ready and sights set on Wright. He sighed. _Well, I suppose with motivation like that..._

Gumshoe nodded. "See, the thing is, all this happened in her backyard. The body was even buried right there, and he was stabbed with her kitchen knife." The detective seemed to be getting fired up. "There's just no way anybody could let that kinda thing go down in their own backyard and not try to stop it, or at least call the cops! Marie D'angelo's the only one who could'a buried that body there!"

Edgeworth slammed his desk. "But Marie has said in her statement that she was hiking at the time. That would allow plenty of time for a third party to do the deed and bury the body while she was away from home!"

Gumshoe shrugged. "Yeah, I guess, but there wasn't anyone who saw her hiking. There's just no way to confirm her alibi."

Edgeworth grimaced. _Great... they won't even_ _entertain the possibility of a third party as long as_ _Marie's alibi_ _can't be confirmed..._

Mia turned to face him. "There has to be some way to prove she was in the woods that day. If you can do that, we'll have a chance."

Edgeworth furrowed his eyebrows. "But there's no way to prove that! None whatsoever."

Mia shrugged. "Look through the Court Record again. Maybe there's something in there that you missed; you just need to look at it differently."

Edgeworth rolled his eyes and opened the case file. He'd been over this evidence a million times; there was nothing there that had anything to do with the woods... wait. Suddenly, he remembered... _that_ piece of evidence. He flipped to the page labeled 'Court Record;' sure enough... "Eureka," he whispered. Mia smiled.

The Judge cleared his throat. "Well, if there's nothing else, I would like to move on..."

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth slammed his desk. "Your Honor, I would like to request that the witness repeat his testimony one more time!"

Wright glanced at Edgeworth, the slightest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Franziska huffed. "Vhat, so you can foolishly ask more foolish questions? I don't think so." She cracked her whip in the air. "Ve're done here, Your Honor!"

The Judge shrunk back. "Well, when you put it that way..."

Suddenly, Wright's arm flew into the air. "OBJECTION!" He pointed at the Judge. "The defense reserves the right to cross-examine all of a witness' statements." He placed his hands on his hips and grinned. "So far, Mr. Wright's only touched on two of Detective Gumshoe's statements. We should hear the rest of what he has to say."

"Vhat?!" Franziska snarled at Wright. "Vhat are you doing, you fool?!"

The Judge nodded. "Alright, well, if the prosecution has no objections, then I suppose the detective may repeat his testimony." He turned to Edgeworth. "But this is the last time."

Edgeworth nodded. "One more chance is all I need, Your Honor."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**Kyle D'angelo was murdered in his own backyard at around 4:00 in the afternoon. **

**We found him buried in a two-foot grave near a big tree at the edge of the D'angelo property. **

**The only trees in that area were pine trees or something. **

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth smiled and tapped his forehead. "Detective, your theory that Marie D'angelo never went hiking contains a fatal contradiction."

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. "Huh? How so?"

Edgeworth pulled a photo out of the case file and held it aloft triumphantly. "Behold! The evidence that proves my client's alibi!"

Everyone in the courtroom stared at him. The Judge blinked. "A... leaf?"

Edgeworth grinned. "Exactly. This leaf was found stuck to the defendant's left boot."

"OBJECTION!" Wright shouted. He had a glint in his eye. "How does that leaf prove anything? People get leaves stuck on their shoes all the time. She probably just stepped on it when she was killing her husband in the backyard!"

Edgeworth smirked and shook his head. "No, this leaf should not have been in the D'angelos' yard. Detective Gumshoe recently testified that there were only pine trees in the area. Pine trees are conifers; they shed needles, not leaves." Edgeworth slammed his desk. "The forest that Marie D'angelo was hiking in is decidedly deciduous! This leaf could have only come from there!"

"OBJECTION!" Wright was grinning. "Yeah, but you have no way of knowing exactly when that leaf got stuck on there. For all we know, it could have been three weeks ago!"

Edgeworth smirked. It was a dare. _Might as well indulge him..._ "Marie D'angelo was wearing these very boots when she was arrested," he said. "She is not a woman who hikes very often. There is no way the leaf would still be on there if it had become stuck during a previous excursion!"

The courtroom exploded into a flurry of noise as the gallery suddenly began to talk amongst themselves. As the Judge struggled to restore order, Edgeworth met Wright's gaze. The other man was absolutely beaming. He was probably thrilled that his leaf had been of use. Edgeworth scowled at him. _Don't get the wrong idea... I'm not playing to win. _

When things had settled down, Franziska slammed her desk with her fist. "Phoenix Wright!" She snarled at him, tugging her whip taut. "You are THE most foolishly foolish of all the foolish fools in this foolish courtroom!" She turned to the Judge. "Your Honor, zat blithering fool has merely introduced a foolish possibility. This leaf is not nearly enough to prove Marie D'angelo's alibi!"

Edgeworth sighed. "Your Honor, it is not the defense's responsibility to prove anything; merely to create reasonable doubt."

The Judge blinked. "Oh, yes, I suppose it is... funny, I'd forgotten about that."

Wright twitched. "WHAAAT?!" He glared at Edgeworth. "But the prosecution has always made the defense prove everything! Every stupid little thing!"

Edgeworth grinned slyly and shrugged, turning to the Judge. "That, I believe, was simply due to Mr. Edgeworth continually taking advantage of my ignorance and incompetence. The burden of proof still lies with the prosecution."

The Judge nodded. "I appreciate a man who can admit his own incompetence." He turned to Franziska. "Mr. Wright is... well, right. As far as this court is concerned, the leaf does create reasonable doubt that the defendant was where the prosecution says she was when the crime occurred."

"OBJECTION!" Wright glared at Edgeworth. "Your Honor, the prosecution can provide hard evidence that the defendant was not only at the scene of the crime, but that she did, in fact, stab her husband!"

Edgeworth grinned. They were playing hardball now. He shook his finger at Wright. "I'm sure we'd all like to see this evidence..." _Come on, do your worst. Make me look good..._

Wright turned to Gumshoe. "Would you mind testifying about the evidence that led you to suspect the defendant?"

Gumshoe nodded. Edgeworth flipped his case file open to the page labeled 'Court Record.' This whole winging-it thing was unexpectedly exciting...

* * *

Phoenix was seriously upset. Sure, he'd been excited when Edgeworth figured out the significance of the leaf (he hadn't known what it meant before), but now the other attorney was somehow wiping the floor with him AND making himself (AKA Phoenix) look stupid in the process. _If someone had only told me about that dumb burden of proof thing..._

He turned to face Gumshoe. "Would you mind testifying about the evidence that led you to suspect the defendant?"

Gumshoe nodded. His testimony had actually stood up pretty well last time despite the whole leaf business... Phoenix hoped the same would hold true of this testimony. After all, this was where things started getting important.

**- - Witness Testimony - -**

**Hard Evidence**

**Well, the first thing that made us suspect Mrs. D'angelo was the murder weapon.**

**It's a pretty standard kitchen knife, but it's got a special little symbol on the left side of the blade. That's how we knew it came from the set in the D'angelos' kitchen.**

**Plus, even though the handle's missin', the boys down at the lab found the defendant's prints all over the blade part.**

**The M.E. said in the autopsy report that the wounds on the victim were definitely made with that knife blade.**

**The report also mentioned hesitation marks on the first couple stabs, see, which means this was what's called a crime of passion. Only somebody who knew Kyle D'angelo well could've killed him!**

**And who could've known him better than his wife? If you ask me, pal, that's proof enough.**

Phoenix watched Edgeworth carefully. He wasn't sure how this would work, with their bodies being switched and all, but he knew from a couple card games they'd played together that Miles Edgeworth had a seriously bad poker face when the cards weren't in his favor.

Sure enough, after hearing the detective's testimony, Edgeworth scowled and started flipping through the case file in front of him. Phoenix felt a little smug. _Have fun picking this apart... trust me, there is NUTHIN' in that Court Record..._

Franziska turned to face him and glowered. "Just vhat kind of stunt vere you trying to pull back there, Miles Edgeworth?!" she hissed. "You vere practically handing out free alibis... vith a side of foolishness!" She crossed her arms. "I know not everyone can be as perfect as I am, but I thought you vere better than THAT!"

Phoenix noticed Edgeworth watching them. He smirked and raised his voice. "I'm sorry, Franziska. I was simply overcome by Mr. Wright's awesomeness, intelligence, and charm."

Phoenix saw Edgeworth narrow his eyes, and almost giggled. This was just too much fun...

Edgeworth cleared his throat and faced Mia. "Oh no, whatever are we going to do?" he exclaimed in mock fright. Though he was facing Mia, Phoenix could see Edgeworth watching him out of the corner of his eye. "The prosecution's case is flawless! It's simply impossible for lowly, inexperienced slime like me to defeat such a brilliant, charismatic, handsome man as Prosecutor Edgeworth!"

Franziska glanced over at Edgeworth, then turned back to Phoenix and raised an eyebrow. "Vhat in Himmel are you doing, you foolish fool?!"

"Yes," Phoenix said loudly, glancing at Edgeworth. "I, Miles Edgeworth, am most definitely a foolish fool!"

Edgeworth scowled and slammed his desk. "I can't do anything without asking my mentor for help like a whiney child!" he shouted. Mia glared at him. "Hey, now..."

"Oh, really?" Phoenix shouted back. "Well, I'm a huge, apathetic jerk who doesn't care enough about the value of human life to ever conduct a thorough investigation before throwing people in jail!"

Edgeworth smirked. "I keep a pink sweater with a giant heart on it in my closet because I secretly wear it when I have no clients."

Phoenix gasped and felt his face go red. _D- Darn it! He won already..._

The Judge blinked in confusion. "Um... alright then. I'm not quite sure why everyone was suddenly so interested in sharing, but..." He shook his head. "Mr. Wright, are you going to cross-examine or aren't you?"

Edgeworth nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**Well, the first thing that made us suspect Mrs. D'angelo was the murder weapon.**

**It's a pretty standard kitchen knife, but it's got a special little symbol on the left side of the blade. That's how we knew it came from the set in the D'angelos' kitchen.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth shouted. He looked a little uncomfortable. "What kind of symbol was this?"

Gumshoe shrugged his shoulders. "Ehh, I don't know for sure... it was some kinda weird flowery thing. Apparently, it was the logo of the company that made the knives."

Edgeworth groaned. "Thank you once again for your flawless attention to detail, Detective."

Gumshoe grinned, unaware of Edgeworth's sarcasm. "Thanks, sir! I really try my best!"

Phoenix sighed. "I'm sure you do. But let's just stick to things that are actually relevant, okay?"

Edgeworth grimaced. Phoenix smiled; shooting him down like this was kinda fun. The Judge nodded his head. "Please continue your testimony, Detective."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**Plus, even though the handle's missin', the boys down at the lab found the defendant's prints all over the blade part.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth scowled. "Detective, didn't you just testify that the knife came from the D'angelos' kitchen set?"

Gumshoe nodded. "Yup."

"Then why," Edgeworth continued, "are these fingerprints supposed to be incriminating? If the knife belonged to Marie D'angelo, of course her prints would be on it." He pointed at the detective. "You have no way of knowing when these prints were left on the blade! She could have touched it while... baking cupcakes!"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted. He pointed at Edgeworth. "Who uses a steak knife to bake cupcakes?!"

Edgeworth shrugged. "I don't know! Maybe Marie D'angelo likes to go ballistic on the icing."

Phoenix snickered. He could imagine that pretty well, actually. "Look, it doesn't matter when the prints got there," he said. "The point is that the defendant definitely touched that knife... and that knife was definitely used to stab Kyle D'angelo." He turned to Gumshoe. "Please continue with your testimony."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**The M.E. said in the autopsy report that the wounds on the victim were definitely made with that knife blade.**

**The report also mentioned hesitation marks on the first couple stabs, see, which means this was what's called a crime of passion. Only somebody who knew Kyle D'angelo well could've killed him!**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth scowled. "Hesitation marks don't necessarily mean a crime of passion, detective."

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. "Eh? How do you mean?"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead, the way he did when he was trying to act smart. "Hesitation marks are exactly what the name implies, nothing more," he said. "The murderer could have been a timid serial killer, for all we know."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix slammed both hands on his desk. "That's just speculation! Besides, the report also says that Kyle D'angelo died immediately after the first stab. If the killer didn't know the victim at all, why did they bother to stab him four more times?"

Edgeworth recoiled. "NGOOH!" He bent forward over the desk and clenched his fists. "I- Irrelevant," he stammered. "The number of stab wounds doesn't have any bearing on-"

The Judge shook his head. "Sorry, Mr. Wright, but Mr. Edgeworth has a valid point; I'm convinced that this information is very relevant. Objection overruled."

Phoenix smirked. Finding the weak points in his own case was a piece of cake. He'd just have to make sure he didn't get carried away, or Marie would be in trouble. He turned to Gumshoe. "Alright, continue."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**And who could've known him better than his wife? If you ask me, pal, that's proof enough.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth looked desperate. "That's hardly proof! This is entirely baseless conjecture!"

Gumshoe wilted. "Well, I was just saying that she certainly knew him well enough..."

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth slammed his hand on his desk. "Your Honor, this piece of testimony is hearsay!"

The Judge blinked. "Hearsay? How so?"

Phoenix furrowed his eyebrows. Hearsay? He'd never heard of that...

"This witness is not qualified to testify as to my client's familiarity with the victim," Edgeworth said. "He is merely making an assumption based on information that was relayed to him outside the courtroom."

"What?!" Gumshoe looked miffed. "Are you saying I'm not allowed to talk about them bein' husband and wife?! Anybody could tell you that if two people are married, they're obviously close!"

Edgeworth shook his head. "Sorry, Detective, but you can't know for sure that they were close as a couple." He turned to the Judge. "Your Honor, on the grounds of hearsay, I move that this piece of testimony be stricken from the record!"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix glared at Edgeworth. "Your Honor, I don't see why Gumshoe can't use his common sense and assume that-"

Edgeworth tsked. "'Assume'? That assumption is exactly what makes this testimony hearsay, and therefore inadmissible."

The Judge nodded, and turned to Phoenix. "Mr. Edgeworth, do you believe this testimony falls under any of the acceptable hearsay exceptions?"

Phoenix gulped. _What?! There are exceptions?!_ He glanced at Edgeworth. _Where the heck is he pulling this stuff from?!_ He scratched the back of his head a grinned nervously. "Well, um, if I had some time to look them up..."

The Judge sighed. "No, I don't think so." He banged his gavel. "The witness' final statement will be stricken from the record, as per the defense's motion."

Edgeworth smirked. Phoenix simply sighed and rolled his eyes. That snippet on the end wasn't really all that important anyway... although Franziska was eyeing him like a lion eyes an injured wildebeest. "You let him get away vith a hearsay objection!" she hissed angrily. Phoenix glanced at her. "Hey, I didn't see you doing anything about it, either!"

*CRACK!*

Franziska huffed. "Foolishly foolish fool!"

Phoenix's eyes watered as he clutched his cheek. She'd hit him in the same place as before.

The Judge yawned. "Well, I don't see this cross-examination going anywhere... in fact, everything that's been presented so far just has me confused." He glanced back and forth between Phoenix and Edgeworth. "Don't either of you have anything more definitive?"

Edgeworth shook his head. "Not at this moment, no."

The Judge turned to Phoenix. "Well? Mr. Edgeworth?"

Phoenix just grinned sheepishly. "Eh heh heh..."

The Judge groaned. "Wonderful." He banged his gavel. "As of right now, it is impossible for me to declare a verdict. Mr. Edgeworth, Mr. Wright, you will both come to this court tomorrow with proper evidence, or so help me I will ground you for a month!"

Phoenix stared at him. _Who does this guy think we are, his grandchildren?!_

"HOLD IT!" Franziska tugged her whip taut. "But the prosecution has a second witness-"

"SSHH!" Phoenix cupped a hand over her mouth. As Franziska wriggled violently, he leaned in close to her and whispered, "let it go until tomorrow! Just trust me!"

Franziska looked about ready to murder him, but she eventually nodded. Phoenix moved his hand away from her mouth, and sighed in deep relief when she refrained from whipping him. _She must really trust Edgeworth..._

The Judge cleared his throat. "Well, then, this court is hereby adjourned for today." He banged his gavel and rose from his seat, heading back towards his chambers.

As the people in the gallery started to disperse, Phoenix leaned back against the wall behind the prosecutor's bench. He'd managed to survive the first day... he only hoped Maya would come back soon. He closed his eyes. What a long day...

* * *

**Author's Note: Oi. What a long chapter. I was thinking about splitting it in half, but I figured you guys could handle it. ;)**

**Still... geez louise. I'm not used to actually having stuff happen. O_o**

**Udgey was actually pretty capable in this chapter. Way to go, Udgey!**

**So, this chapter contains an onslaught of stuff I learned from being on the Mock Trial team in high school... There actually is a hearsay exception that Nickles could've used, had he known about it. Although, Wrightworth's characterization of that statement as 'hearsay' is a bit sketchy... but whatever, he won the point there.**

**Also, suck it up, Nickles. Of course Maya isn't going to be back soon... not until we torment you some more... mweh heh heh heh...**

**Also also, I drew another quickie comic. Personally, I think this one's funnier than the last one, and it's in (flat) COLOR, so check it out if you want: ht tp / / fav . me / d6dbpbk**


	7. Investigations

Date: August 4

Time: 11:00 a.m.

Location: District Court, Hallway

Phoenix glanced at Franziska. "So, um... what do we do now?"

Without even bothering to look at him, Franziska whipped him twice across his torso. "Fool," she grumbled. It was almost like she wasn't even bothering to be upset anymore. "You're going back to the scene to investigate. You only have today to find something definitive, or that foolish defense attorney is going to show you up again."

Phoenix rubbed his chest in an effort to ease the pain. "You keep saying 'you' instead of 'we'," he said. "Does that mean you're not planning on investigating?"

Franziska huffed. "This is your case, you take care of it. I only agreed to help you at trial because I felt like it. But now I'm busy." She grinned slyly. "I am going to see a certain merchant about negotiating the price of a custom-made cat-o-nine-tails..."

Phoenix shuddered. "Um, maybe you should just buy a purse or something instead."

Franziska glared at him. "You're hiding something from me," she announced suddenly, folding her arms. "All day you have been acting strangely." She raised an eyebrow. "Though I hate to admit it, you are not usually this stupid."

Phoenix blinked. _Should I tell her? She won't believe me... and then I'll probably get whipped again._ "I don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly.

Franziska glared at him. "A von Karma's knowledge of any given situation must alvays be perfect and complete," she stated firmly. "I vill find out vhat you are hiding, Miles Edgeworth!"

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. What was she gonna do, tail him everywhere with a pair of binoculars? "I'm not hiding anything," he said, adjusting the weight of the case files under his left arm. Franziska had pushed the whole stack on him after court was adjourned.

Franziska snorted. "Vhatever." She headed for the door. "I vill see you here tomorrow... at 8:30 a.m. sharp." She glanced over her shoulder. "If you are late again, I vill whip you until your skin falls off."

Phoenix watched her go and sighed. He suddenly felt really bad for Edgeworth. Looking around, he noticed that some people from the gallery were still filtering out of the courtroom. He didn't see Edgeworth and Mia anywhere... they must have already left, or gone back to one of the defendant lobbies.

He was just turning to leave when suddenly, out of nowhere, he felt something collide with his back as someone pounced on him from above and tackled him to the ground. He hit the floor face-down and simply lay there, unmoving; the shock and jarring pain from the impact were just too much this time.

He felt pressure between his shoulder blades as whoever had attacked him placed a foot on his back. "The Great Thief Yatagarasu strikes again!" his assailant shouted gleefully. Phoenix thought he recognized that voice from somewhere...

He strained to get a look, but he was firmly pinned to the floor. He wriggled around in an attempt to free himself, but the person simply sat down on his back and pinned his left arm to the ground with a foot. "Heya, Nickles," she said cheerily. "I saw the trial. You weren't half bad in there! More like three-quarters bad."

Phoenix groaned. "Kay?" He tried to lift his head. "What are you doing..?"

Kay huffed. "Sitting on you. What do you think I'm doing?"

Phoenix let his forehead rest on the floor. "But WHY?!"

Kay shifted her weight. "Do I really need a reason?" She bounced on his back. "I'm gonna help you investigate! Aren't you excited?"

Phoenix ground his teeth. "I'd be more excited if you'd let me get up."

Kay huffed. "Fine..." She stood up. "Spoil-sport... hey, why aren't you wearing that fluttery thing?"

Phoenix groaned. "It's a cravat..." He slowly pushed himself up to a standing position. If Franziska's whipping hadn't been enough to make him sore for a week, Kay definitely finished the job.

As soon as he got to his feet, Kay punched him on the shoulder. "Alright, where are we going? Are we gonna ride around in Mr. Edgeworth's wicked-sweet car?"

Phoenix winced, and rubbed his shoulder. "Just stop hurting me... please..."

Kay pouted. "Aww, you're no fun at all! I hope you have a thicker skin than that in court!"

Phoenix sighed. He wasn't going to argue with her. "Well, apparently the D'angelos live in the suburbs..." He gestured to the case files. "The address is in here somewhere. Just give me a few minutes to find it."

Kay grinned. "So, can I come with you?"

Phoenix nodded. "You know how Edgeworth does his investigating, right? I'll need your help figuring things out."

Kay pumped a fist in the air. "Yes!" She grinned. "You know, Mr. Edgeworth usually puts up more of a fight."

Phoenix sighed. _I am a bit of a pushover, aren't I?_ He flipped open the case file on the top of the pile. Luckily, this one just so happened to be dedicated to Marie and her personal life, so it was easy to find her address. Still, there wasn't exactly a set of directions... he'd just have to hope that either Edgeworth's car or phone had a GPS.

"Alright, Kay, let's go," he said, and reached into his pocket for his keys. "This is my first time investigating as a prosecutor, so we can't afford to waste any time."

Kay nodded seriously. "It's okay, I understand." She looked at him with something like pity in her gaze. "You're kind of an idiot, aren't you, Nickles?"

Phoenix folded his arms. "Okay, we don't know each other nearly well enough for you to be doing this to me. Who's been telling you about my 'idiocy'? Edgeworth?"

Kay nodded, and smiled mischievously. "Him, Ms. Franziska, and Gummy..."

Phoenix blinked. "You mean Detective Gumshoe?" _Geez, talk about the pot calling the kettle black. _

Kay bounced on her heels. "Welp, I hope we'll be ready to go sometime this century..."

Phoenix turned towards the door. "I'd like to. The only problem is, I don't know if Edgeworth has a GPS or not..." He shrugged. "I really don't remember how to get there since the last time I investigated at the scene."

Kay snapped her fingers. "Aw, who needs a GPS when you have the Great Thief Yatagarasu?" She pulled some kind of gadget out of her pocket; it looked kind of like an over-sized laser pointer. "This is Little Thief," she proclaimed. "It can be used to recreate crime scenes and simulate the inside of a building from only the plans." She grinned. "It also gets Wi-Fi signals and has a GPS feature."

Phoenix stared at the gadget. "How convenient..." he muttered.

Kay grinned. "Little Thief is flawless! We should get there in no time!"

As they headed for the courthouse doors, Phoenix turned to Kay. "You know, there's something I keep wondering about..."

Kay raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Why does Edgeworth let you help him investigate," Phoenix questioned, "if you're a thief? He keeps telling anyone who'll listen that he hates criminals..."

Kay shrugged. "You know, I'm not sure." She grinned. "Maybe he wants to get a foothold on the Black Market! You know, because he's secretly a Mafia boss!"

Phoenix stared at her. "How the heck did you get from 'hangs out with a thief' to 'Mafia boss'?!"

Kay shrugged again. "Edgey is just way too serious for his own good. It fuels the imagination, you know?"

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. _Well, there always did seem to be rumors swirling around him... maybe..._ He shook his head. Now was not the time to get sidetracked! He only had the rest of the day to investigate, and this time he had to find definitive proof or the Judge would ground him!

He turned and jogged towards the courthouse doors. "Just come on! There's a lot of stuff that needs to happen today!"

Kay grinned. "Alright! Time to go filch us some truth!"

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 11:30 a.m.

Location: ?

Franziska von Karma shifted the car into 'park' and glanced over at the teen in her passenger's seat. "Vell? Just vhat in Himmel are they doing now?!"

The blonde teen shrugged as he watched, through a pair of black binoculars, as the red sports car came to a screeching halt some ways down the road. "Ich hab' keine Idee..." he said. "No clue at all. Either they're very, very lost, or they've spotted us and are leading us on a vild goose chase."

The kid was an intern at the prosecutor's office. Franziska hadn't taken the time to learn his name, but he was Deutscher, so she felt a little more comfortable with him than most of the other prosecutors. They spoke the same language, after all. So, since he was an intern and had to do everything she told him to, she'd told him to help her tail the uncharacteristically foolish Miles Edgeworth.

Franziska sighed. "Give me those." The intern nodded. "Jawohl, baby," he said, and handed her the binoculars. She groaned and inspected the red sports car. Maybe the intern was more foolish than she thought.

Miles Edgeworth had been driving atrociously; it was almost bad enough to make her wonder if he was under the influence. There was a familiar girl in the car with him (Franziska had forgotten her name), and she was constantly waving some kind of stick-shaped machine around. The car had circled through this development nearly five times before stopping by the side of the road here in the suburbs; apparently, they were trying to get to the crime scene. Still, they were about three streets off.

Franziska adjusted the binoculars, and the car came into focus. Miles Edgeworth was very animated, shouting and gesturing wildly at the girl next to him. He was clearly upset, no doubt because they were hopelessly lost. Still, Franziska had never seen him act this way in public... or in private, for that matter. It was almost like he was an entirely different person.

For her part, the girl appeared to be shouting back at him just as furiously. Still, for some reason, Franziska wasn't sensing any real animosity from either of them. She frowned and handed the binoculars back to the intern. "You keep vatching them," she instructed, and shifted the car into 'drive'. "I vill try to get us close enough to hear vhat they're saying."

The intern gave her a thumbs-up, and Franziska lifted her foot off the brake, letting the car slowly coast down the street. Once they were within hearing range, she stopped the car and turned it off.

Franziska could see the girl huff indignantly. "...can't blame Little Thief," she said. "You must have plugged in the wrong address!"

Miles Edgeworth smacked the steering wheel. "I already told you, there's no way I got it wrong!" he yelled angrily. "I tried it five different times! It has to be right!"

The girl folded her arms. "Well maybe it was just wrong all five times!"

Miles Edgeworth groaned and held his head in his hands with his elbows on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off. Franziska raised an eyebrow. Something was definitely wrong with him... but what?

The girl rolled her eyes. "Great. What are we gonna do now?" She put her feet up on the dash. "We don't have much time, Nickles!"

Franziska blinked. Nickles? What was that? Did this mean that... that wasn't really Miles Edgeworth?! But it looked and sounded exactly like him... She gasped. Could that person be an impostor?!

Suddenly, the occupants of the red car went silent. Franziska felt a hand on her shoulder as the intern pushed her down behind the dash. She was about to protest when he held a finger to his lips. "Nein!" he hissed. "Sie haben uns gesehen!" The intern motioned for her to stay down, then grinned and sauntered over to the red sports car.

Franziska was silent. She heard the intern call out, "Achtung, baby! Are you and the Fräulein lost?" After that, the conversation became a little quieter, and she couldn't make out what they were talking about. She could only hear some of what the intern was saying; he appeared to be giving them directions.

After a couple of minutes, she heard the red car roar to life. The intern called out "Tschüss!", and the sound of the sports car gradually faded away as it drove down the road.

Franziska sat up and smoothed her sleeves. The intern sauntered back over to the car; the red sports car was nowhere to be seen. Franziska turned to the intern. "Vhat did you tell them?" she asked.

The intern shrugged. "Ach, you know... I just pretended I vas a concerned citizen and told Herr Bangs how to get to the crime scene." He grinned. "That Fräulein vas really something, don't you think?"

Franziska pulled her whip out of the glove box and gave him a good lashing. "Foolish fool!" she grumbled. "You're here for surveillance, not to pick up chicks!"

The intern squealed. "J- JAWOHL! Tut mir leid!"

Franziska huffed. _Foolish fools and their foolish tom-foolery... I will find out what is going on, one way or another! _

She revved the car's engine. "Ve're going to the crime scene!" she yelled at the intern. As she sped down the road, she narrowed her eyes. _You can't hide from Franziska von Karma, whoever you are! _

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 11:00 a.m.

Location: District Court, Defendant Lobby No. 1

Edgeworth closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief. The terrible courtroom ordeal was over... at least for today. Now he'd have to go back to the crime scene and investigate more thoroughly, this time looking for anything that might help Marie D'angelo's case.

Mia sat down at the table and smiled wryly at him. "Well, I guess that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," she quipped, resting her elbows on the table. "That's not to say it wasn't bad, though..." She glanced at him. "Face it, that was pretty bad."

Edgeworth groaned and turned away from her. "I never said I was going to actually try," he grumbled. "I do not understand why you can't just accept that." He glared angrily at the wall. "What does this one client matter to you, anyway? You're not even alive. Why can't you see that I have bigger problems right now?" He closed his eyes. "Besides, I thought I told you not to lean forward like that... It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"What are you talking about, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth turned around. "GAAH!" Standing right in front of him was not Mia, but Pearls. The little girl had a quizzical expression on her face.

Edgeworth had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. "W- Why can't you ever tell me when you're channeling?!" he shouted. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Pearls gasped. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wright-werth!" She fidgeted sadly. "I don't have any control over when Mystic Mia decides to leave... I can only call her."

Edgeworth suddenly felt guilty for yelling. He sighed. "Forgive me... I was just surprised."

Pearls looked up at him. "So, how did the trial go?" She smiled. "Did you beat Mr. Nickles?"

Edgeworth grimaced. "Unfortunately, it's not quite as simple as that. The Judge has ordered us to find more decisive evidence for tomorrow, so the trial has been extended another day."

Pearls grinned. "So does that mean that we're going to go investigate?"

Edgeworth nodded. "There's quite a bit more that I want to find out about this case," he said, holding up Wright's flimsy case file. Truthfully, there were several pieces of evidence that bothered him... like the severed finger, and the other ring that Wright found at the scene.

Pearls looked up at him expectantly. Edgeworth smiled slightly. _She is SO much nicer than Mia..._ "Well, I suppose we should get going," he said. "Do you think there are subway lines that run all the way out to the suburbs?"

Pearls giggled and shook her head. "You really don't know what to do without your car, do you, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth sighed. _Please stop reminding me... _"We'll get there somehow," he said, and guided Pearls towards the door.

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 11:23 a.m.

Location: 6 Briar Avenue, D'angelo Residence

After an experience with the public transportation system that could only be described as an 'adventure,' Edgeworth finally led Pearls down the street towards the D'angelos' house; the scene of the crime. The house itself was rather unremarkable, with two stories, white siding, and cherry red shutters. The only thing that stood out about the place was a beautiful bay window next to the door... and, of course, the maze of yellow police tape. There seemed to be much more than was necessary, in places where it was not necessary. Like on the mailbox or the hydrangeas, for example.

Edgeworth sighed. He was already dreading plunging through that jungle; whoever put up all that tape deserved at least one good pay cut.

Pearls held tightly onto his hand. "Is this where the murder happened?" she asked. She looked a little scared, but not much. Edgeworth wondered if it was a good thing that she seemed kind of used to this.

He nodded. "Yes," he said. "The crime scene itself is in the backyard." Still holding onto Pearls, he pushed aside the police tape separating the front yard from the back.

Upon reaching the backyard, he spotted a female officer about to cover a birdbath in police tape. Edgeworth sighed. She seemed to be the only one not terribly occupied, so he approached her. "Excuse me, Officer...?"

The woman turned towards him, startled. "Oh, um, I'm Hammer," she said, and saluted. "Officer Hammer."

Edgeworth coughed. "Ah, hello there, Officer Hammer." He gave a little bow. "My name is Mi- er, Phoenix Wright. I'm the defense attorney representing Marie D'angelo."

Hammer nodded. "Yeah, I saw you here a couple of days ago. We're pretty much finishing up here, so you can investigate as much as you want." She bent down to address Pearls. "Are you Mr. Wright's assistant?" she asked sweetly.

Pearls nodded happily. "I'm going to help him investigate!"

Officer Hammer smiled. "You're awfully brave," she said. "I hope you have fun, okay?"

Pearls bounced happily. "Yes, ma'am!"

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Ah, would you mind showing me where the body was found, Officer?"

Hammer stood up and nodded. "It's right over there by that big pine," she said, gesturing over her shoulder. "Just be careful not to touch anything without bagging it first."

Edgeworth almost chuckled. Since when did Phoenix Wright ever follow correct evidence procedure? He turned to Hammer. "Thank you for your help," he said.

Hammer nodded, smiled at Pearls, and returned promptly to her taping. Edgeworth sighed. That poor, irrelevant birdbath had no idea what it was in for...

He led Pearls towards the aforementioned pine tree. The body itself was no longer there, of course; all that remained now of Kyle D'angelo was a sloppy outline made of white rope, lying at the bottom of a two-foot grave. Thanks to police investigating, the pile of dirt around the grave itself had been trampled, spread-out, and scattered all over the place. Not that he would have been able to get anything particularly useful out of it, but still... Edgeworth always prefered an untouched crime scene. Hordes of policemen seemed to have a talent for destroying valuable clues.

He let go of Pearls' hand and squatted to inspect the grave. There was a shallow indentation next to the rope where the knife blade had been found. Surprisingly, there wasn't much blood in the grave itself; Kyle D'angelo had actually been stabbed about four feet to the left in the grass.

Edgeworth sighed and stood up. Just as he'd suspected... there was nothing here. The police had already picked apart anything that might have been considered important, and Wright had left him with the most useless "evidence" in the entire history of useless. How on earth was he supposed to find anything definitive here?

Edgeworth started to head towards the house itself. He was about three steps away from the backdoor when he realized that he didn't know where Pearls was. Slightly worried, he ran back towards the big pine tree, but the little girl was nowhere in sight. He started to get a sort of sinking feeling in his stomach... she seemed able to take care of herself despite her age, but... "Pearls!" he called out, scanning the yard. "Pearls, where are you?!"

Suddenly, he heard a rustling noise from behind him. "Mr. Wright-werth!"

Edgeworth jumped. "Pearls?" He spun around, but all he could see was a wall of needles; the edge of the backyard was lined with a veritable forest of pine trees.

Something rustled. "I'm back here, in the trees!" Pearls called out. "I think I found something important!"

Edgeworth let out a small sigh of relief. "Can you come out here and show me what you found?"

Pearls paused. "Well, Officer Hammer said not to touch anything..."

Edgeworth grimaced, and pulled on a pair of gloves. "Alright, I'll come find you," he said. "Are you back very far?"

"I think I'm close to the neighbor's house," Pearls called out. "It's actually not so thick back here; you just need to get past the big branches."

Edgeworth brushed aside a branch and ducked under the pines. Inside the trees, the needles formed a solid wall of green and brown; he could see a small clearing in the branches that ran towards the neighboring yard like a tunnel of sorts. That was probably where Pearls had crawled through... but it couldn't be more than a few feet high. Edgeworth frowned. _I guess there's nothing for it..._ he thought, and got down on his hands and knees.

Crawling through the tunnel of branches, he felt his face become sticky with sap every time a clump of needles so much as touched him. He groaned. _This had better be some GOOD evidence..._

After a short time, he spotted two loops of brown hair bobbing about between the needles. He pushed aside a large branch, and there sat Pearls, happily humming something to herself. She perked up instantly as soon as she saw him. "Mr. Wright-werth, look!" she exclaimed. "I think these are really important!"

At first, Edgeworth couldn't quite see what she was pointing at in the shade of the needles. However, a closer look revealed the objects to be boots... two matching black rain-boots. Edgeworth reached out and picked them up; the soles had a strange flowery texture to them. He checked the bottoms for a size, and found that they were women's, size six and a half. He raised an eyebrow; Marie D'angelo's hiking boots had been a size eight.

Suddenly, he caught sight of something on the tips of the boots. Some kind of stain... in the dim light, it was hard to tell what it was. Edgeworth studied the stains carefully... they looked almost like... He gasped. "Eureka!"

Pearls chewed on a fingernail. "It's what I think it is, isn't it?"

Edgeworth nodded. "These are definitely blood stains... and pretty substantial ones, at that." He inspected the boots one more time, and smiled slightly. "Thank you, Pearls," he said, and tapped his forehead. "I think you've just found our decisive evidence."

* * *

**Author's Note: Everybody's out investigating! Well, except maybe Nickles, 'cuz he's late again. **

**Just in case anyone is confused, the first two segments follow each other chronologically, and the Wrightworth part jumps back through time to right after the trial. **

**For some reason, I really enjoyed writing the Franzy-investigation. :)**

**Little Thief does everything. Seriously. It's like a smart phone... plus it might have a Swiss-Army-Knife function... and it turns into an umbrella...**

**Franslator (or Intern-slator in this case, I suppose):**

**Ich hab' keine Idee = I have no idea**

**Sie haben uns gesehen = They saw us**

**Tut mir leid = Sorry**

**Tschüss = See ya**

**Himmel = Heaven**

**Deutscher = German**


	8. Investigations: Part Two

Date: August 4

Time: 11:43 a.m.

Location: 6 Briar Avenue, D'angelo Residence

Phoenix let out a huge sigh of relief as soon as he spotted the yellow police tape around the house. Even following the directions given to him by a strange man whom he felt could only be described as 'glimmerous', it had still taken him and Kay a whole ten minutes to reach the scene of the crime. Pulling up a little too close to the curb, Phoenix winced as he felt the red sports car's left front tire roll up over the sidewalk. He quickly shifted into 'park' and pulled the keys out of the ignition. At least he hadn't heard any scraping.

Kay, who either didn't notice the bad park job or else chose to ignore it, whooped in delight and sprung from the car. "Finally!" she shouted excitedly. "We're finally gonna get to investigate!"

Phoenix nodded, relieved. "I didn't think it was possible to get so horribly lost."

Kay shook her head and rolled her eyes. "With you, Nickles, _anything_ is possible." She hopped up onto the sidewalk and stood next to him, eyeing the car. "Don't even get me started on your driving. We're just lucky no one died."

"Hey now," Phoenix said, miffed. "I'd like to see you drive this thing all over the place!"

Kay grinned slyly. "If I'd known you were this bad I would have. Because I actually have a license..."

Phoenix sighed. He really needed to get one of those sometime. Putting the keys to the car in his pocket, he started walking towards the backyard of the house. He didn't think he'd find anything there, but it never hurt to make sure. Kay followed along behind him, fiddling with Little Thief.

Upon reaching the backyard, Phoenix paused. Was that...?

"Mr. Nickles!" Pearls waved to him cheerily from just in front of the pines. Edgeworth was nowhere in sight.

Phoenix grinned and waved back. The little girl was cheery as always. He walked up to her. "Hey, Pearls," he said. "Having fun with Edgeworth?"

"His name is 'Mr. Wright-werth'," Pearls corrected. "And we're ex-se-coot-ing a thur-oh investigation!"

Phoenix chuckled. Of course Edgeworth would try to teach her big words like that... suddenly, an idea occurred to him. "Well, that certainly sounds like fun," he said. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"Well, we did find a..." Pearls began, then stopped and eyed him with suspicion. "Wait... I probably shouldn't tell you..." she said. "Mr. Wright-werth wouldn't like it."

Phoenix sighed. _Drat. Foiled again._ "Where is that guy, anyway?" he asked, looking around the yard. He turned to Pearls. "He shouldn't leave his beautiful assistant out here all alone."

Pearls giggled. "You're funny, Mr. Nickles," she said, hands on her cheeks. "He's just in the house talking to Officer Hammer."

"Hmm, okay," Phoenix said, and glanced towards the house. What could Edgeworth be in the house for? And who exactly was Officer Hammer?

Kay chose this moment to shove Little Thief into her pocket and approach Pearls. "Heya squirt," she said, grinning. "You know, I think we should just ditch these two stuffy old guys and have our own investigation!"

Pearls bounced on her heels. "That sounds fun, Ms. Kay!"

Phoenix groaned. "Kay, I thought you said you _wanted_ to help me investigate!"

Kay shrugged. "Well, whenever you're ready to start... hopefully sometime this century..."

Phoenix held up his hands. "Alright, alright." He turned to Pearls. "Call me if you can't stand Edgeworth anymore," he joked.

"I told you his name is 'Mr. Wright-werth'!" Pearls replied, but she smiled.

Suddenly, the back door of the house swung open, and Phoenix spotted his own face peeking out. Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Pearls," he called out, arms folded.

"Coming!" Pearls shouted happily, and skipped off towards the house, waving back at Phoenix as she went. Edgeworth closed the door after her, but not before shooting Phoenix a strange look. It was almost impossible to tell exactly what emotion (or lack thereof) he was trying to convey.

Phoenix shrugged to himself and turned to Kay. "Okay, how does this work?" he asked.

Kay rolled her eyes. "Really?"

Phoenix furrowed his eyebrows. "Come on, you said Edgeworth has his own weird way of investigating..." He scratched his head. "I just don't want to look _too_ out of place."

Kay stroked her chin. "Well, we need to actually find some evidence first..."

Phoenix nodded. "Right." He turned towards the pines at the edge of the yard. "We should probably start over there, where the body was found."

Kay grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. "Sounds like a plan!"

Phoenix strode towards the grave site, squatting to peer into the dirt hole. Kay squatted next to him and whistled. "That is about the worst rope-outline job I have ever seen," she quipped. "It looks more like they found Quasimoto in this ditch."

Phoenix glanced at her. "Are you always this morbid?" he asked. Most times, Maya couldn't even bear to look at the chalk outline of a body.

Kay shrugged. "Well, usually the body's still here when Mr. Edgeworth and I get to it. I guess this isn't really a big deal for me."

Phoenix grimaced. "I guess not..." He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to investigate with a creepy dead body staring up at him.

Looking into the ditch, he noticed a small depression in the dirt where the knife had been found. He studied it carefully... something about the shape of the indentation seemed off to him. He stroked his chin. "Well, that can't be right," he muttered.

Kay perked up. "Is there a contradiction?"

Phoenix glanced at her. "What?"

Kay grinned. "When something at the scene doesn't match the evidence we have, Mr. Edgeworth points out the contradiction and makes a deduction."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "A deduction, eh? That makes it sound a little too much like Luke Atmey..."

Kay frowned. "Who's that?"

Phoenix pulled out one of the case files. "Never mind." He flipped it open until he found a list of evidence that included the knife blade. He snapped his fingers. "Zvarri!"

Kay stared at him. "Come on, you're supposed to say 'Eureka!'" she grumbled. "Geez, this is getting embarrassing..."

Phoenix showed her the evidence list. "See this knife blade here?" he said, pointing out a photo of the blade. "The police haven't been able to find the handle."

Kay nodded. "Right. So where's the contradiction?"

Phoenix pointed into the grave. "Look at that indentation there... what do you see?"

Kay gasped. "Oh... it's in the shape of a knife with a handle!"

Phoenix nodded. "Obviously, this knife had a handle when the murder occurred. The question is, where did it go?" He pointed to the indentation. "Since the whole knife was buried with the body, the handle couldn't have been lost before police reopened the grave."

Kay grinned. "Knowing Gummy, it's definitely possible that it got knocked around by a shovel or something if it was on loosely to begin with."

Phoenix smiled. "So the handle could still be in the grave, or somewhere in these huge piles of dirt."

Kay pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah, now we're getting somewhere!" She cracked her knuckles. "Alright, I'll handle the grave, you take the huge piles of dirt."

Phoenix sighed. Of course she'd volunteer him for the messy job.

* * *

Edgeworth watched Wright inspecting the grave site through the back window and smirked. He and Pearls were already ten steps ahead. Not that it was a race, but still...

Edgeworth turned to Officer Hammer. "Are you sure it's alright?" he asked.

Hammer nodded, and chuckled. "I'm just glad you bothered to ask, Mr. Wright. Most defense attorneys just do whatever they want." She smiled. "One time, Prosecutor Edgeworth told me about this defense attorney who went around stuffing evidence in his pocket! Can you believe it?"

Edgeworth resisted the urge to snicker. "Oh, that..." he said, and turned towards the door. "That was me."

Hammer blinked. "Huh?"

Pearls giggled quietly and slipped through the door. Edgeworth smirked. "I'm just incorrigible when it comes to evidence procedure, you see. I rub my fingerprints on everything." Before Hammer could reply, Edgeworth quickly stepped through the door and closed it behind him. He was now standing on the front porch.

Pearls looked up at him excitedly. "What are we going to do now, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth stepped off the porch and started walking down the the driveway, Pearls skipping happily alongside of him. He cleared his throat. "We are going to the house next door. I would like to talk to the woman who lives there, because she may have witnessed something important to the case."

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail. "But why did you have to ask Officer Hammer?"

Edgeworth glanced down at her. "Well, you see, the neighbor is a witness for the prosecution." He folded his arms. "I'm not sure what protocol requires in this instance, but I assumed it would be bad form to question an opposing witness pre-trial without..." He trailed off and stopped in his tracks.

Pearls looked up at him. "What's wrong?"

Edgeworth clenched his fists. "My car..." He rushed down the sidewalk to where the red sports car was parked, one wheel hanging haphazardly on the edge of the curb. Edgeworth ground his teeth. "What did he do to my car?!" He hurriedly knelt down and inspected the tire in question. Much to his chagrin, there were scratches all over the shiny surface of the hubcap. Edgeworth growled. "WRIIIIIGHT..." _He's going to pay for this..._

Pearls shrunk back, large brown eyes wide with fright. Edgeworth turned to face her. "Is something wrong?" he snarled.

Pearls took another step back. Her bottom lip quivered. "Mr. Wright-werth... you look scary..."

Edgeworth blinked. In his rage, he'd accidentally glared at her... and now the poor girl looked about to cry. His expression softened. "I'm sorry, Pearls," he said, straightening. "It was wrong of me to become so upset." He bowed with a flourish. "Will you forgive me?"

Pearls giggled and blushed, clutching her cheeks. "Yes," she squealed, eyes shining. "You're such a gentleman, Mr. Wright-werth!"

Edgeworth, somehow, had the feeling that he would later regret this exchange, but he shrugged it off and guided Pearls towards the neighboring house.

The home of Jane Doe was very similar in structure to that of the D'angelos; however, this house did not have a lovely bay window. It was also covered in a brown siding that Edgeworth found utterly distasteful. There was a short brick walkway from the driveway to the front door; as he made his way towards the door, Edgeworth noticed that there were no flowers or even shrubberies anywhere. He raised an eyebrow. At the risk of sounding sexist, he thought it odd that a woman's yard would display no landscaping whatsoever... He shrugged to himself. To each her own.

Upon reaching the front door, Edgeworth pressed the doorbell and waited. After a few moments of silence, he realized that it hadn't rung. He sighed and gave the door a couple of good knocks. First no landscaping, and now a broken doorbell? He wasn't quite sure why, but something about this house simply rubbed him the wrong way.

The door was answered by a petit woman with straight, long, mouse-brown hair and a piercing gaze. She wore no makeup and was dressed in a dull olive-green tee-shirt and jean shorts. Overall, she was rather plain, perhaps even forgettable, but her eyes gave Edgeworth pause. They were dark and hard, and they glared at him from atop a thin, sharp nose; like the gaze of a hawk, brooding and full of animosity.

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Ah, Ms. Doe?"

The woman studied him and Pearls. "Well, the little girl is a nice touch," she said cynically, "but whatever you're selling, I'm not buying." She was about to close the door, but Edgeworth, without thinking, swiftly wedged his foot inside.

As the door slammed into the inside of his foot, he winced in pain. "HOLD IT!" he cried, louder than he'd intended.

Ms. Doe refused to open the door. She simply glared at him. "Persistent, aren't we?"

Edgeworth grimaced. "Please, Ms. Doe," he hissed. "I don't want to sell you anything, I'm an attorney, I'm here about the murder next door..."

Ms. Doe glared at him for a few moments more, then reluctantly opened the door. "Call me Jane," she muttered. "Now what do you want?"

Edgeworth hastily retracted his foot and smoothed the blue suit jacket. He then cleared his throat. _Let's try_ _this again..._ "My name is Phoenix Wright," he said. "I'm representing Marie D'angelo, and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions..."

Jane's eyes narrowed. "So you're the one who's defending that floozy." She folded her arms and glared at him. "I've got nothing to say to you, so beat it."

Edgeworth glared right back. "Ms. Doe, I'm not asking you to help Mrs. D'angelo in any way. I just want to know more about what you saw on the day of the incident."

Jane remained silent, glowering at him as if in hopes that looks could kill. Edgeworth folded his arms. "I know you witnessed the couple fighting on multiple occasions, including the day of the crime," he said, still glaring. "The prosecutor and I are good friends." He wagged his finger at her. "What I want to know now is, what exactly did you see that day, in full detail, please."

Jane huffed, and Edgeworth felt something warm in his pocket. Reaching for the source of the sensation, he found himself grasping Wright's magatama.

Suddenly, he heard the clanking of heavy chains as three large, red locks appeared in the air directly in front of Jane Doe. Caught off-guard, it took him a moment to realize what was going on. He glanced at Pearls. What are those things called again? Psycho-locks?

Jane folded her arms. "Look, Mr. Porcupine, I don't want to call you dirty names in front of the kid, so I'll only say this one more time." She snarled. "Get. Lost." She reached over, slammed the door shut, and that was the end of that.

Edgeworth sighed. "Well, that was certainly productive," he commented dryly, and turned to go.

Pearls followed him back down the walkway. "I can't believe how mean that lady was," she huffed. "What are we going to do now?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to wait until she testifies in court tomorrow." He grimaced. "Not that I'm looking forward to cross-examining her..."

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail. "So... does that mean we're done investigating?"

Edgeworth thought about it. There really wasn't much left at the scene... the only witness was being uncooperative... and they'd already found their decisive evidence... He sighed. "Yes, I suppose we are." He headed towards the backyard of the D'angelo house. "We should let Officer Hammer know we're finished before we go."

Edgeworth and Pearls ducked under the police tape and were about to enter the backyard when Edgeworth stepped on something strange. At first, it felt like a tree root, but that theory was immediately disproved when the shrub in front of him screamed in pain.

Edgeworth took a step back. A pair of binoculars poked out of the shrubbery, and he could hear something rustling furiously. Someone whispered angrily, and then there was a loud cracking noise. It sounded an awful lot like a whip.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow and drew back the branches. Out tumbled a person with blonde hair and a purple shirt. The blonde landed with a thump at Edgeworth's feet; upon closer inspection, Edgeworth recognized him as the teenage intern from the prosecutor's office... the one whose name he could never remember. The intern rolled onto his back and moaned. "Ahh... nngh..." He sat up, rubbing his right cheek. "Autsch... he, was war das?!" he yelled into the bush. "I told you I didn't step on your foot!"

"Foolishly foolish fool of a fool's fool!" Franziska von Karma stepped out from among the branches, binoculars in one hand and whip in the other. She had hundreds of tiny bush-leaves stuck in her hair, and she looked absolutely livid. "This surveillance operation vas supposed to be perfect," she hissed. "Your foolish blubbering is going to compromise our cover!"

The intern scrambled to his feet. "But you're the one who screamed vhen your foot got stepped on!"

*CRACK!*

Franziska whipped the poor intern across the face. "Fool," she muttered.

Apparently, neither of them had noticed that they were being watched. Edgeworth cleared his throat. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but just what exactly is going on here?"

The intern yelped and whipped around to face him, eyes wide and hands in the air. Franziska simply blinked. "Phoenix Wright?" Her eyes narrowed, and she tugged her whip taut. "Vhat are you doing here?"

Edgeworth shook his head and tsked. "I'm on this case, you know why I'm here. The question that should be asked is, why are you here?" He folded his arms. "I was under the impression that you wouldn't be involved in the investigation of this case."

The intern glanced at Edgeworth. "Und wer ist das?" He grinned mischievously at Franziska. "Dein Mann, oder?"

Before Franziska could reply, Edgeworth held out his hand. "My name is Phoenix Wright," he said to the intern, "and I am not her husband."

Pearls gasped quietly behind him. Edgeworth thought he heard her muttering something about 'Mr. Nick and Ms. Franziska,' but he thought it best not to ask.

The intern laughed and shook his hand. "I'm Klavier," he said. "Sprichst du Deutsch, Herr Phönix?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "Nur ein Bisschen."

Franziska eyed him suspiciously. "Really..." she said. "I had no idea."

Edgeworth glanced at her. Having Franziska find out about his "problem" would probably result in a lot of pain. He had to throw her off the scent somehow...

Edgeworth summoned up the best stupid grin he could muster and scratched the back of his head. "Well, you know... I've just got all kinds of tricks up my sleeve. Can't judge a book by its cover, and all that." Franziska was still staring at him, so he grinned nervously. "Eh heh heh..." Inwardly, that smile was painful. Edgeworth was beginning to wonder if he'd overdone it.

Franziska looked like she was thinking about something, but eventually she shook her head dismissively. "Vhatever. I suppose even as foolish a fool as you can keep a secret." She brandished her whip menacingly. "But if you speak one word of this I vill whip you until you fall down dead, and then I vill whip you some more."

Edgeworth nodded and sighed. "Yes, yes, my lips are sealed."

Franziska huffed and glared at him. "Miles Edgeworth has been acting strangely," she announced, "and I think I know vhy."

Edgeworth made a face. _If you knew why, you wouldn't be talking to me like this..._

Franziska tugged at her whip. "I'm not sure how, but I think the Miles Edgeworth ve saw in court today is a fake. I heard the girl... ah, vhat vas her name again?"

"Faraday," Edgeworth said. "Kay Faraday."

Franziska nodded. "Stimmt. I heard Faraday call him 'Nickles.'" She motioned towards Klavier. "Bono here vas there, he heard it, too." She folded her arms. "In any case, something is definitely going on, so this foolishly foppish fool-fop and I are keeping a careful eye on the imposter."

Klavier glanced at her. "Vhy did you call me 'Bono'? And how am I a fop?!"

Franziska whipped him. "Because you keep shouting 'Achtung, baby!' and worrying about your hair and it is getting on my nerves," she stated firmly. "Now stop asking foolish questions and get back to surveillance!"

Klavier rubbed his shoulder. "Jawohl, baby- er, sir!"

Edgeworth sighed and turned to go. "Well, I wish you luck... for the intern's sake." He grabbed Pearls by the hand and led her towards the front yard.

Pearls looked up at him, confused. "Aren't we going to talk to Officer Hammer?"

Edgeworth shook his head. "It isn't worth the trouble, Pearls..."

"Phoenix Wright!" Franziska called after him. She placed her hands on her hips. "You say you are a friend of my little brother, yes? Do you vhat is going on?"

Edgeworth turned to look at her. She did seem concerned... He shook his head and turned his back on her. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

* * *

After about ten minutes of searching for the missing knife handle, Kay hopped out of the grave and flopped onto her back in the grass. "This sucks," she moaned, closing her eyes. "The Great Thief Yatagarasu does not dig around in dirt for the truth! She steals it!"

Phoenix narrowed his eyes at her. His face, hands, knees, and most of his upper body were caked in dirt. "Try digging around in here," he muttered. "Then you'll _really_ have something to complain about."

Kay sighed. "Geez, Nickles, how long are we gonna keep doing this?" She sat up and wiped her forehead. "Just face it, the handle isn't in there."

Phoenix grimaced. As much as he hated to admit it... "You're probably right," he sighed. "Let's just call it quits..."

Kay flopped onto her back. "I say we take a nap," she moaned.

Phoenix nodded. "That sounds like a good idea..." Exhausted, he closed his eyes and flopped forward into the dirt.

Suddenly, he felt something hard poking at his forehead. Face still in the dirt, he maneuvered his hand through the mucky soil until he grasped the object in question. Sitting up, he brushed the dirt off his face and inspected the object. He grinned. "I found it!"

Kay sat up straight. "No way! Really?"

Phoenix nodded. "This is definitely a knife handle," he said, holding up the piece of smooth, red wood. He studied the side of it. "Look, it even has the same flower symbol painted on it as the one on the blade!"

Kay grinned. "Sweet! This could be our decisive evidence!" She scrambled to her feet. "We should get it dusted for prints!"

Phoenix stood up, still studying the handle. "Let's just say I have a feeling that the only prints on this thing are gonna belong to Marie D'angelo," he said, smiling.

Kay glanced at him. "Or to you." She frowned. "Why aren't you wearing gloves?"

Phoenix blinked. Come to think of it... "I don't think I ever wear gloves, actually," he said, scratching the back of his head.

Kay stared at him. "You would not make a very good thief," she quipped.

Phoenix glanced over his shoulder. "Speaking of," he said, turning to Kay, "are your ninja senses tingling? For some reason, I keep getting the feeling that we're being watched..."

Kay glanced around the yard, then shrugged. "Nah. You're just being paranoid."

Phoenix headed towards the house. "Yeah, you're probably right..."

* * *

**Author's Note: Whee, more investigating! These scenes are more fun for me to write than the courtroom parts. **

**Franslator:**

**Autsch... he, was war das?! = Oww... hey, what was that?!**

**Und wer ist das? = And who's this?**

**Dein Mann, oder? = Your husband, right? **

**Sprichst du Deutsch, Herr Phönix? = Do you speak German, Mr. Phoenix? **

**Nur ein Bisschen = Only a little bit**

**Stimmt = That's right**

**Klavier pretty much uses the informal 'du' form with everybody, when he should probably be using 'Sie'. Rude. No wonder Franziska's starting to get frustrated with him. **

**Zvarri! It's Luke Atmey (not)! You know, sometimes I really love him, but most times I really hate him. Either way, my mind will now forever associate the word 'deduce' with him. Also, he looks like a penguin (totally irrelevant).**

**Jane Doe was meant to be the total opposite of Marie D'angelo, so she's mean and doesn't care about her appearance. Also, I finally played through Bridge to the Turnabout, so... yeah. Let's just not make a big issue out of those other chapters where I screwed things up in my ignorance... please...**

**Also also, please ignore my stupid chapter titles. I just cannot figure out how to do them right... (I should have just not done them at all, but now it's too late.)**


	9. Wrath of the von Karma

Date: August 4

Time: 12:23 p.m.

Location: ?

*BRIIING* *BRIIING* *BRIIING*

…*beep*

"Hello?"

"Hi, Pearly!"

"Mystic Maya! How's your search going?"

"Ehh... not so good. Listen, Pearly, can you keep a secret?"

"Yep!"

"Even from Nickles and Mr. Wrightworth?"

"Uh... Mr. Wright-werth does have the magatama, but I can try. Why?"

"Well, I just found out something that's... not so good. I don't want them worrying more than they already are."

"..."

"...Hello?"

"I- I'm still here, Mystic Maya! What's the... not-so-good thing?"

"Umm, well, it's kind of complicated, and I barely understand how it works myself, but let's just say we have a time limit."

"What?!"

"See, when you or I channel a dead spirit, that spirit takes up residence in our conscious mind, and our own spirits are pushed back deep into our subconscious. That's why we never have any memories from the time during a channeling. Do you get it so far?"

"Umm, yes, I think."

"Okay. The difference here is, Nickles and Mr. Wrightworth simply got their spirits switched; so instead of having one spirit occupying the conscious and another one in the subconscious, Nick's spirit is using both Mr. Edgeworth's conscious and subconscious. Now, unless Mr. Edgeworth's brain has a serious memory problem, the part of Nick's spirit that's in his conscious mind is always going to be aware of who he really is. The problem is in the subconscious. If Nick's spirit stays in Mr. Edgeworth's subconscious mind for too long, he's going to... well, kind of get absorbed by it. If that happens, consciously he'll be himself, but subconsciously, it would be like he _is_ Edgeworth, and then we wouldn't be able to separate them."

"..."

"Did you get all that, Pearly?"

"I- well, sort of. ...Err, maybe not. B- But I did understand the last part!"

"Now you see why I don't want you to tell them?"

"You're right, Mystic Maya. I'll keep it a secret. So, um, how long do you think we have?"

"Well, I was able to find a book on this stuff... unfortunately, I'm still having trouble deciphering the technique I'm supposed to use to switch them back. But the texts say we have until midnight on the day after tomorrow before time runs out."

"T- That's not very long!"

"I know... Listen, if I can't figure out this technique in time, I'm going to come back and we'll try the same thing we did at the party. Do you think you can do that?"

"...yes. I promise I'll get it right this time!"

"Okay, but remember, that's only if we run out of time. Don't try anything without asking me first, okay?"

"Alright."

"Oh, and one more thing... the subconscious mind is where things like dreams and reflexes come from. So if either Nickles or Mr. Wrightworth starts having strange dreams or doing things that they wouldn't normally do, you call me right away."

"Uh - huh!"

"Great! Thanks a lot, Pearly! I'll call you when I figure something out. Tell Nickles not to get TOO good at prosecuting..."

"Hee hee... I don't think we'll have to worry about that, Mystic Maya."

"Ha ha... alright, I gotta get back to studying. Bye!"

"Bye... I hope you come back soon..."

…*click*

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 1:36 p.m.

Location: 6 Briar Avenue, D'angelo Residence

Phoenix sighed and glanced at his watch. "What is taking them so long?" he grumbled. "If I had some of that powder stuff I could've gotten that fingerprint analysis done in two minutes, tops."

Kay looked up from her game of Little-Thief-Holographic-Angry-Birds and glared at him. "Aww, quit your griping. We wouldn't have to sit around doing nothing if you could just get off your lazy butt and investigate!"

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Look, we've already gone over every single inch of this yard and there is nothing else here. What else could we possibly investigate?"

Kay shrugged. "I don't know, maybe search the inside of the house, or talk to the neighbor lady..." She turned back to her game. "Mr. Edgeworth always finds something to investigate..." she muttered under her breath.

Phoenix huffed. "Look, that guy is obsessive-compulsive about his job. But you can't call me a bad investigator just because I don't search every single nook and cranny!"

Kay ignored him. Phoenix sighed. They'd been waiting for the fingerprint analysis on the knife handle for what seemed like forever. He'd already searched through the entire backyard, but couldn't find anything new or relevant. Gumshoe had shown up around noon, but he'd only stayed for about ten minutes before running out for a 'lunch break' from which he'd never returned; Phoenix was sure that the detective still felt awkward around him, which, all things considered, was certainly understandable. Still, he felt a little betrayed... and now not even Kay was listening to him. It really made him miss working with Maya; he hadn't heard from her since she left for Kurain, and it was starting to worry him a little. Maybe she just didn't know Edgeworth's cell number... he'd have to talk to Pearls about it when he got the chance.

He stood up from where he'd been sitting in the grass, and started to brush off his pant legs before remembering that he was still covered in dirt. He'd gone into the house to wash the soil off of his face and hands, but there was nothing he could do about the suit; he felt kind of guilty, because it didn't really belong to him and he was sure it was expensive.

Turning to Kay, he cleared his throat. "Alright... I guess it wouldn't hurt to go talk to the neighbor. I am going to have her testify tomorrow, after all."

Kay immediately stopped her game and shoved Little Thief back into her pocket. "YES!" she shouted, fist in the air. "We're gonna DO something!"

Phoenix sighed. "Just don't scare her off, alright?"

Kay snickered. "Who, me? I'd be more worried about you tracking mud onto her floor." She grinned. "You look like that Pig-pen dude from Peanuts."

Phoenix turned on his heel and started walking towards the front yard of the house. "Yeah, well, we don't have enough time for me to drive all the way back to Castle Edgeworth and change, so Ms. Jane Doe's just gonna have to deal with it."

Kay followed along behind him, chuckling to herself. "You sure are cool about this," she commented. "Edgeworth'd be mortified."

Phoenix grimaced. _Why does she have to keep bringing him up like that? _he thought to himself._ I mean, I understand why, but it's not making this whole thing any easier for me..._ "You know, I kind of get the feeling that I'm not wanted around here," he commented dryly.

Kay was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I think you're right," she said seriously. "I'm sorry, but I still feel like I don't know you well enough, y'know?" She glanced at him. "I guess I'm... kinda worried about_ him_... I haven't really gotten to talk to him since all this stuff happened."

Phoenix might have felt insulted, but he knew that wasn't Kay's intention. He patted her on the back. "I'm sure he's fine."

Kay smiled. "Thanks." She punched his shoulder playfully. "I guess you're a pretty nice guy..."

Phoenix groaned and rubbed his shoulder. "I'd be nicer if you stopped punching me..."

Kay only grinned and grabbed him by the arm. "Come on," she said, dragging him towards the sidewalk. "Let's go interrogate that neighbor lady!"

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 1:38 p.m.

Location: A Shrubbery

Franziska frowned and adjusted her binoculars. Not-Miles-Edgeworth and Kay Faraday had exited the D'angelos' backyard and were now headed towards the home of Jane Doe.

Franziska turned to the intern... Klavier Gavin, was it? She handed him the binoculars. "It's time ve found a new vantage point," she hissed.

The intern made a face. "That's not going to be easy, Chefchen," he whispered. "There aren't any bushes or anything over there."

Franziska raised an eyebrow and tugged dangerously at her whip. "Chefchen?" Not only did the brazen fool consistently address her, his superior, as 'du' (which was extremely rude), but now he was calling her his 'little boss'?! She growled softly. "Perhaps I should have picked up that cat-o-nine-tails before coming here..."

Klavier Gavin chuckled. "You can whip me all you want, _Chefchen_, but remember, you asked me to help you out." He put a little emphasis on the word 'Chefchen;' clearly he was now saying it simply to annoy her. He grinned. "See, vhen I pass the bar exam in a couple of months, ve'll be colleagues. And then you'll owe me for this."

Franziska glared at him. The foolish fool's foolish confidence was so... aggravating. "Just find a good place for us to hide over there," she hissed. Folding her arms, she glared out through the branches. "You heard them talking about Miles Edgeworth, yes?"

Klavier Gavin nodded thoughtfully. "Ja... Ich kann es nicht verstehen." He turned to face her. "Do you really think that could be an imposter? I don't know Herr Edgeworth personally, but this guy ve've been following around looks exactly like him."

Franziska thumped him on the head with the handle of her whip. "Trottel," she growled. "You heard Kay Faraday call him 'Nickles'... my little brother vould never answer to such a foolish nickname!" She stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Whoever this 'Nickles' is, he has managed to copy Miles Edgeworth's appearance exactly. And..." She paused. "I am starting to get the feeling that Phoenix Wright is in on this, too. He didn't look especially shocked vhen I told him about vhat is going on." Franziska clenched her fist angrily. "It just seems like everyone else around us knows exactly vhat is going on, and I, for vhatever reason, am being left out of the loop..."

Klavier Gavin suddenly placed his arm across her shoulders. "He, alles gut," he said, and grinned. "You're the perfect prosecutor Franziska von Karma, na?" He flicked back his blond bangs. "And I am the sexiest intern the Prosecutor's Office has ever seen. So, there's no chance of this secret getting away from us!"

Franziska smiled. Just a little. However, it quickly faded and turned into a scowl. "Get off," she growled, and violently shrugged the intern's arm off her shoulder before turning and whipping him. "Ve're not going to find anything out if ve sit around here talking," she said tersely. "Now, is there anyplace to conceal ourselves over there or not?"

Klavier Gavin massaged his now bright-red cheek and looked through the binoculars. "Vell, there aren't any bushes or trees in the neighbor's yard," he said, "but... there is a minivan or something parked in the driveway. If ve could get over there vithout being seen, it might provide enough cover... and it's certainly vithin hearing range."

Franziska nodded. "That vill have to do." She drew back the branches cautiously, catching a glimpse of Kay Faraday and the Nickles person standing in front of the neighbor's door. She narrowed her eyes. "Alright, this is going to be tricky. Get ready to run as quietly as you can, on my mark..."

Klavier Gavin grinned. "This is the best unpaid internship ever."

* * *

Phoenix pressed Jane Doe's doorbell and waited. Nothing happened. "Huh..." he muttered. "I wonder why it didn't ring?" He pushed the button again. Still nothing, so he pushed it again. And again, and again, and again.

Kay sighed. "Look, the doorbell's obviously broken."

Phoenix turned to face her. "I know that!" he said. "I was just checking to make sure!"

Kay just rolled her eyes at him, so Phoenix turned back to the door and knocked. After a few seconds, the door opened, and a short, thin woman stood framed in the doorway. She just kind of stood there giving him the evil eye; Phoenix felt a little unsettled. He cleared his throat. "Um, Jane Doe, right?"

The woman glared at him. "What do you want?"

Phoenix gulped. He wasn't quite sure why she intimidated him so much... "I'm, uh, Miles Edgeworth, the prosecutor," he stammered. "I was wondering if I could talk to you some more about the case before you testify tomorrow..."

Jane folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "Look, we've met three times; I know your name." She grabbed the doorknob. "I already told you everything I saw, so leave me alone!"

"HOLD IT!" Phoenix grinned nervously. "Umm, I just want to go over everything one more time... to, uh, make sure it's... all... correct..."

Jane Doe was glaring at him ferociously, and Phoenix wilted. "B- But I can see you're busy," he stammered, "so I guess... um..."

Jane snorted derisively. "Of course I'm too busy for cowards in pink suits. Now take your girlfriend and scram, or I'll personally kick your whiney hide off my doorstep!"

"Hey!" Kay bristled. "You've got some nerve, lady! We just wanted to talk to you!"

Suddenly, Jane lifted her right leg in a perfect side-kick and planted the heel of her boot squarely on Phoenix's chest, sending him literally flying backwards onto the brick walkway. He landed with a thump, luckily managing to keep the back of his head from smacking the brick. A jarring pain spread through his back and shoulder blades, but he bit his lip and sat up. "Why did you have to kick ME?!" he shouted.

Jane shrugged. "You were a bigger target, I guess." She glared at him. "Now beat it." With that, she slammed the door shut.

Phoenix grimaced and slowly pushed himself up to a standing position. Couldn't he make it through one day without getting beaten to a pulp?!

Kay folded her arms huffily and stalked over to where Phoenix was standing. "Geez, what a hag!" she spat. "I can't believe she just kicked you like that!" She cracked her knuckles menacingly. "If she wasn't your witness, I'd show her how a Great Thief fights!"

Phoenix gulped. "Umm, you really shouldn't go around beating people up..." He folded his arms. "You could get arrested for that, you know. It's called 'assault and battery.'"

Kay glanced at him. "Okay, so arrest her..."

Phoenix scratched the back of his head. "I can't do that... I'm not a police officer!" He turned away from her and started walking back down the brick walkway towards the driveway. "Besides, Jane Doe may be a jerk, but she's important to the prosecution's case." He grimaced. "Not that I look forward to direct-examining her, though..."

Phoenix turned around to face Kay, but she'd suddenly disappeared. He gaped. That girl really was a ninja. "Kay..?" he called, looking around the yard. "Where'd you go?!"

"HEY!"

Phoenix whirled around. He'd heard Kay shout from somewhere near the D'angelo's front yard... Suddenly, he spotted her near a large shrubbery. She seemed to be attempting to restrain someone; upon further inspection, Phoenix recognized the strange blonde kid who'd given them directions earlier.

The blonde struggled furiously, but Kay had both of his wrists firmly in her grasp, twisting them behind his back like she was preparing to handcuff him. "Hey! Nickles!" she shouted, and grunted as the blonde stepped on her foot. "I caught this guy spying on us! Get over here and help me hold him!"

"Aagh!" The blonde tried to wriggle free, but to no avail. "Lass mich gehen!" he screamed. "Bist du verrückt?!" He locked eyes with Phoenix. "Hey, tell the crazy Fräulein to let me go! Please?"

Phoenix sighed. "Kay, I JUST told you that attacking people is a crime!"

Kay groaned. "Aww, come on! I didn't even punch him!"

Phoenix folded his arms. "Let the poor guy go already!" he scolded sternly. "We can talk about this spying thing civilly, alright?"

Kay shot him a dark look. "But he'll escape!"

*CRACK!*

Kay yelped and clutched her shoulder; it sounded like someone had whipped her. The blonde teen immediately scampered out of Kay's range and smiled at someone over the girl's shoulder. "Danke, Chefchen!"

Franziska von Karma tugged her whip taut and scowled. "Fools," she growled. "All of you, fools."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Franziska?" He took a couple of steps towards her. "I thought you said you weren't coming here..."

Franziska turned towards him and glared furiously, eyes wide and nostrils flaring. "Who are you and vhat have you done vith Miles Edgeworth?!" she screamed, and whipped him repeatedly across the face.

When Franziska had finished, Phoenix could barely keep himself together. The edges of his vision were starting to go black, and he felt like he might cry or pass out. Or both. He sank to his knees in the grass, wobbled once or twice, and fell forward onto his face.

Franziska growled. "Get up!" She whipped him again, but Phoenix didn't even have the energy to flinch this time. "Assault... and battery..." he mumbled into the dirt.

Franziska planted a foot on his back. "I know you're not Miles Edgeworth," she said, this time with an eerie calm that was almost scarier than her enraged shouting. "I've been observing you carefully." She dug her heel into his back. "Now tell me exactly vhat is going on, or I vill rip out your entrails vith my bare hands."

Phoenix had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. How could one woman be so utterly terrifying?! "Just stop!" he shouted. "I'll tell you everything, okay?!" He whimpered. "Just stop hurting me..."

Franziska huffed and lifted her foot off of his back. "Alright, start talking," she commanded. "Anything less than a perfect confession vill earn you another lashing, imposter..."

Phoenix sat up, slowly and gingerly. He glanced at Kay, who looked slightly worried. He pleaded with her with his eyes, but the Great Thief only shrugged helplessly.

Phoenix sat on the grass and scratched the back of his head. "Well, um, you probably won't believe me," he muttered.

Franziska flicked her whip in the air, dangerously close to his face. "Try me," she growled.

Phoenix gulped, braced himself, and told Franziska everything. He told her about the party, the botched channeling, his promise to prosecute Edgeworth's case, and even his harrowing experiences behind the wheel of the red sports car. He told her about literally everything that had happened to him that day and a half.

The whole time Phoenix was explaining, Franziska was silent. She seemed to be... taking it rather well, actually, even nodding occasionally. Phoenix recalled that she had actually been the one to explain the Fey channeling technique to the court in a certain case some time ago; maybe he'd been wrong to think the female prosecutor wouldn't believe him.

When he'd finished, Franziska was quiet for a while. She seemed to be deep in thought. The blonde teen just kind of stared. "Quatsch! Das... das ist unglaublich..." he muttered. "Are ve really expected to believe this nonsense?!"

Kay elbowed him in the stomach. "That enough to convince ya?" She grinned.

The poor kid only clutched his stomach and nodded weakly, but he was smiling. "Achtung baby..." he mumbled, in something like awe. Kay rolled her eyes.

After a couple of minutes, Franziska spoke. "So... you are really Phoenix Wright, then?"

Phoenix nodded, and Franziska frowned at him. "Vhy..." she asked, "didn't you tell me?"

Phoenix grinned nervously. "Well, I was afraid you'd whip me..."

Franziska nodded contemplatively. "I see..." She folded her arms, but other than that, did nothing.

Phoenix breathed a small sigh of relief. "Well, I sure am glad that's all settled," he said. "So, uh, why were you following us around with binoculars-"

*CRACK!* *FWSSH!* *CRACK!* *CRACK!* *SNAP!* *CRACK!*

*THUMP*

Franziska glared down at Phoenix, who'd collapsed face-first again, and tugged her whip taut. "Only a foolishly foolish fool of a foolhardy fool's fool," she stated, "vould even think of deceiving a von Karma."

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 2:03 p.m.

Location: Matlock Apartments

Pearls sighed happily and closed her eyes. "Mr. Wright-werth, you really do know how to make a good cup of tea." She took a sip and smiled. "Even with Mr. Nick's discount instant tea bags!"

Edgeworth smiled and leaned back on the couch, stretching out his legs. "It certainly is nice to simply sit back and relax," he said, taking a sip of tea. He'd opened the window, and a nice breeze filled the room, carrying with it the soft sounds of birds chirping and the scent of summer flowers.

Pearls sipped her tea thoughtfully. "I wonder what Mr. Nickles is doing right now?"

Edgeworth shrugged dismissively. "Whatever it is, I probably don't want to know about it."

Pearls glanced up at him. "Do you think he's having as much fun as we are?"

Edgeworth took another sip of tea and closed his eyes. "I'm sure he's having lots of fun, Pearls."

* * *

**Author's Note: Lots o' Nickles in this one. To be honest, I really couldn't think of anything exciting for Pearls and Wrightworth to do, so I guess Edgey will have to get his own chapter later. Although, today is apparently Beat-Up-Nickles Day, so Edgey might not want his own chapter...**

**Franslator:**

**Chefchen = Little boss**

**Ja... Ich kann es nicht verstehen = Yeah... I just don't understand it**

**Trottel = Idiot**

**He, alles gut = Hey, it's okay**

**Lass mich gehen = Let me go**

**Bist du verrückt = Are you crazy**

**Quatsch = Nonsense**

**Das ist unglaublich = This is unbelievable**

**I know some of you have been waiting for Franziska to find out for a while now, so I decided it was finally time to spill the beans... amid a flurry of whip-cracking, of course. **

**Is Klavier X Kay a thing? Is it going to happen in this fic? ...I don't know. **


	10. The Dreaded Elevator

Date: August 4

Time: 5:57 p.m.

Location: Matlock Apartments

*CLANG!* *CRSSH!*

*THUMP*

"Huff... huff... no... I won't... let you... do this... huff..."

"...Your legalism blinds you, do you know that? Absolute justice does not exist."

"...nnggghh..."

"It's a shame, really. I... rather like you, I suppose. But now look at you. You can't even stand under the weight of your chains... your precious law binds you, holds you down."

"...no..."

"True justice can only be found outside the law. That's just the way of the world."

"...Perhaps in your eyes. But you... view the law as a chain, a hindrance to true justice..."

"Well, that's what it is, and you know that as well as I."

"No... you see, to me, the law is not a chain. It's more like... a mighty shield. It protects justice, and strengthens it..."

"Waah-?! Th- This power! Where is it coming from?! You have no strength left!"

"On the contrary... for you see, I draw my strength from justice and truth!"

"B- But I seek truth as well! Why can I not defeat you?!"

"You are weak because you fight without your shield, Ninja Queen Obsidian Raven!"

"No... we were once friends, but you will not stop me this time, STEEL SAMURAI!"

Edgeworth sat on the edge of the couch cushion, transfixed. He stared intently at the TV screen as the narrator's voice boomed out through the speakers...

"_**Will the Steel Samurai be forced to defeat the Raven once and for all? Or will the two seekers of justice be able to restore their alliance to face the Evil Magistrate? Find out next time, on THE STEEL SAMURAI: WARRIOR OF GREAT JUSTICE!"**_

Pearls gasped, nearly spilling her tea. "Mr. Wright-werth! What's going to happen next?!"

Edgeworth picked up the remote and turned the TV off when the show's brief credits started to roll. "I'm sorry, Pearls, but I don't know," he said, placing his now-empty teacup on the coffee table in front of the couch. "We won't find out until the next episode."

Pearls pouted. "But I have to know NOW!" She clenched her tiny fists. "The Steel Samurai needs to convince the Raven to come back to the side of good so they can defeat the Evil Magistrate together!"

Edgeworth smiled slightly. He was glad he'd finally found someone he could watch his favorite show with and not feel deeply ashamed. "I wasn't sure if you would like the Raven," he said. "She can be quite unsavory at times..."

Pearls looked up at him. "But, Mr. Wright-werth, the Steel Samurai has to stand by her! Because..." Her eyes sparkled, and she held her hands to her cheeks. "...she's his _special someone!_"

Edgeworth stared at her. "But the Pink Princess is..."

Pearls huffed. "No way! They're obviously just friends!"

Edgeworth was aghast. This innocent little girl couldn't be... _shipping_... already, could she?! "Don't go down this path, Pearls!" he urged, kneeling down and grasping her shoulders. "You're far too young to be saying these sorts of things!"

Pearls blinked. "Um... o- okay..."

Suddenly, a tinny, electronic version of the Steel Samurai theme song started blaring from his pocket; it took Edgeworth a moment to recognize the sound as Wright's cellphone. He stood up and cleared his throat before answering it. "Hello?"

"NIIIIIIICK!" Someone sobbed on the other end. "You gotta help me out, man!"

Edgeworth had to hold the phone a little distance away from his ear to avoid blowing out his eardrums. "Larry?" He grimaced. "What is this about?"

"Come on, Nick, it's an emergency this time, I swear!" Larry sounded comically desperate; nothing unusual there. However...

"Larry, this is _Edgeworth_, remember?"

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. Edgeworth was about to hang up, when Larry suddenly shouted. "Aaaah! That's right!" He sounded surprised. "Wow, I totally forgot about that!"

Edgeworth was taken aback. "How could you just 'forget' something like this?!" he fumed. "You were there when it happened! Last night!"

Larry chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I know... sorry, man."

Edgeworth sighed. Never again would he underestimate that man's idiocy. "What do you want, Butz?"

"Geez, you sure are cold," Larry pouted. "Like I said, it's a real emergency this time! Honest!"

Edgeworth was beginning to grow impatient. "Get on with it..."

"Well, see, um..." Larry sounded slightly sheepish. "Maybe you'd better just come meet me here, man..."

Edgeworth ground his teeth. "You know what, I don't even want to know. I have things to do today, you know. Lots of very important things..."

He saw Pearls glance up at him quizzically. She looked like she was about to say something like 'but Mr. Wright-werth, we're not doing anything,' so Edgeworth held a finger to his lips. If Larry heard her, it would ruin his entire evening.

Larry made a noise that sounded rather like a dying cow. "Aww, come on, Edgey! You really gotta help meee! Pleeeaase?!" He moaned. "If you don't come help me out, I'm gonna diiie!"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "Where are you?"

"I- I'm at this fancy French restaurant... umm, Tres Bien, I think..." Larry sounded cautiously hopeful. "Does this mean...?"

Edgeworth thought about it. If he simply ignored Larry, he was bound to get called back within two minutes with another desperate plea for assistance. Plus, he and Pearls hadn't had anything to eat for dinner as of yet, and he happened to like that restaurant... "Alright," he sighed. "I'll meet you there."

"YES!" Larry shouted happily. "You're a lifesaver, man!"

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "But I think you should be aware, if this 'emergency' of yours is financial in nature, it wouldn't be fair of me to loan you any of Wright's money. Especially since I'm sure you would never pay it back."

"Oh, um, well, it's not exactly like that..." Larry muttered. "Just, uh, just come meet me here, and I'll explain, okay?"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "That's not incredibly reassuring-"

"Thanks, man, see ya in a few!" And with that, Larry ended the call.

Pearls looked up at Edgeworth, chewing on her thumbnail. "Um, what was that about?"

Edgeworth simply shrugged and opened up Wright's wallet. "It was only Larry," he said dismissively, silently counting the bills. There was actually a pretty good amount of cash inside; while it certainly didn't compare to what he was used to, there was definitely enough there for them to treat themselves a little without leaving too big of a dent in Wright's finances. Edgeworth closed the wallet and turned to Pearls. "Have you ever tasted French cuisine?"

Pearls looked confused. "What's coo-iz-een?" She bit her thumbnail. "And what's a freh-nch?"

Edgeworth was astonished. "W- well, 'cuisine' is kind of like another word for food... and something is 'French' when it comes from the country of France," he explained. "Has no one ever taken you to a French restaurant?"

Pearls shook her head. Edgeworth's eyes widened. _This poor child!_ "Well, we are going to amend that," he stated firmly. "Now, if you would be so kind as to set your teacup by the sink and find your shoes..."

Pearls gasped excitedly. "Are we going out to eat?" Her eyes sparkled. "Will it be someplace fancy?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "Well, Tres Bien is a café of sorts, so it's not the kind of place one would need reservations for, but it has a very agreeable atmosphere, and the French cuisine is good for its price."

Pearls stared at him blankly. "So, it's fancy?"

Edgeworth sighed. "Yes."

"Yay!" Pearls dashed off towards the kitchen, deposited her teacup by the sink, and hastily slipped on her sandals, which were lying on the tile floor. She then scampered back to where Edgeworth was standing and bounced on her heels excitedly. "I've never been to a fancy restaurant before!" she gushed.

Edgeworth smiled slightly. The little girl's ability to find joy in almost anything was refreshing. He wondered if this was how Wright was able to stay so... happy all the time. "Well, then, we should get going," he said, opening the door for Pearls. "I can only hope the public transportation system will be easier to navigate this time..."

Pearls giggled as she entered the hallway. "Well, fifth time's the charm!"

Edgeworth closed and locked the apartment door behind him and headed towards the stairs.

"Um, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth turned to Pearls, who stood in front of the apartment door, biting her thumbnail. She looked mildly upset. "Do we..." she began, then paused before continuing. "Do we have to take the stairs this time?"

Edgeworth started to feel a familiar sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Well, it's healthier for you to take the stairs," he said, hoping that would be enough.

Pearls looked up at him. "But the stairs here are dark and scary," she said, fidgeting. "Sometimes I get scared that I'll trip and fall... why don't we just take the elevator?"

Edgeworth cringed. There it was; the one word he'd been trying to avoid. However... Pearls seemed just as afraid of the stairs as he was of the elevator. And, to be fair, the stairs in this building _were_ pretty dilapidated... He gritted his teeth. _Pull yourself together, Miles! _he thought to himself. _I shouldn't let a little elevator frighten me like this!_ He closed his eyes; even thinking the word 'elevator' sent a chill down his spine.

Pearls stared at him. "Umm, Mr. Wright-werth...?"

Edgeworth glanced at her; it really wasn't fair of him to make her face that very frightening, mold-infested stairwell because of his own irrational fear... He gathered up as much resolve as he could muster. "Alright, we can take the... elevator..."

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail hesitantly. "Well, if you don't want to, I guess..."

"No!" Edgeworth would not turn back now; he'd already made up his mind to do this. He guided Pearls towards the elevator and pressed the call button.

Within moments, the doors slid open, and Pearls stepped inside. Edgeworth closed his eyes, prepared to fight off any panic attacks. He steeled himself, took a deep breath, and stepped into the elevator.

Nothing happened.

After a few moments, he hesitantly opened his eyes and looked around. Pearls was pressing the 'Lobby' button; the walls of the elevator car were dingy and covered in graffiti. As the doors closed, Edgeworth blinked a couple of times. Normally, he'd be huddled in a corner terrified by now, especially in an elevator as clearly suspect as this. Instead, he felt... fine. His eyes widened slightly as he realized he wasn't frightened at all. He didn't even feel uncomfortable anymore.

Edgeworth folded his arms and glanced around the elevator car in confusion. He couldn't possibly have just magically gotten over a fear he'd had since he was nine... Suddenly, the answer came to him.

_Wright_ wasn't afraid of elevators.

Edgeworth wasn't quite sure why, but that realization worried him deeply. Up until that point, it had been almost easy for him to forget about his circumstances, especially during the investigation. However... now even his emotions were being affected, and it was unsettling...

Pearls tapped him on the arm, interrupting his thoughts. "Mr. Wright-werth, are you okay?"

Edgeworth blinked. "Oh, ah, yes, I'm fine." The elevator dinged as it came to a stop and the doors opened; Edgeworth waited for Pearls to exit the car before following her into the building lobby. Any disquieting thoughts were forgotten as he mentally ran through the different bus/subway lines they would have to take in order to reach Tres Bien. Once he'd managed to convince himself that he knew where he was going, Edgeworth held the lobby doors open for Pearls, and together they exited the building.

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 6:03 p.m.

Location: High Prosecutor's Office 1202

Phoenix glanced at Franziska. "Not to be rude, but why are you still here?"

The female prosecutor glared at him. "That vas extremely rude," she said, examining her whip handle. "I am your co-counsel, you know. Vhen the fingerprint analysis comes in, I have as much right to see it as you do."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Okay, fair enough. Then why..." he pointed at the blonde teen. "...is _he_ still here?"

The blonde, who Phoenix now knew to be an intern named Klavier Gavin, pretended to be offended. "Vhat?! Are you saying you don't enjoy my presence?!"

Kay, who was sitting next to him on the office couch, punched him on the shoulder. "He's saying you're not getting anything done," she quipped.

Klavier rubbed his shoulder. "Autsch... you're a hard Fraulein to impress," he said, grinning.

Kay rolled her eyes. "No, you're just not very impressive."

Klavier flipped his bangs. "Vould I be more impressive if I told you I vas in a band?"

Phoenix cleared his throat loudly. "Well, I certainly wouldn't want to interrupt your clearly important discussion, but I do have a case to prosecute tomorrow..."

After things with Franziska had cooled down a bit, she'd agreed to help Phoenix with the rest of his preparations for the second trial day, because she "had nothing better to do". Since apparently the fingerprint analysis on the knife handle had yet to be completed, the group had kind of migrated back to Edgeworth's office to "talk strategy." However, it seemed like the only strategy that was being discussed was Klavier's increasingly varied attempts to hit on/annoy Kay. Phoenix honestly could not tell if the blonde was being serious or not, but luckily, Kay seemed to be impervious to his... charms.

Franziska shrugged. "Vell, as long as the prints come back the vay I think they vill, ve should be fine. There's not a lot of evidence in this case, but most of it points towards the defendant, and the Judge can see that." She scowled. "Although, vhy you insist on dragging this trial out is beyond me. If I vere prosecuting this on my own, I vould have gotten a 'guilty' verdict vithin ten minutes."

Phoenix sighed. "Look, I'm sure Maya will be back before the third day, and then you and Edgeworth can yell 'guilty' to your hearts' content. But I-" He stopped. Even though he was pretty sure she could guess the reason, he was just too afraid to tell Franziska why he wanted to drag the trial out. He was almost certain that if she whipped him again, he'd die.

Franziska scowled at him. "Do you really still think your client's innocent? You've seen all the evidence ve have; Marie D'angelo is the only one who could have killed the victim. Period." She folded her arms. "You are so naive that it's becoming disgusting."

Phoenix didn't have the courage to tell her that he'd used the magatama to find out if Marie was innocent or not; somehow he had the feeling that Franziska wouldn't consider that a sufficient explanation.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door. "Hey, you in there, pal?!" The voice was obviously Detective Gumshoe's; he sounded a bit agitated.

Phoenix got up from behind Edgeworth's enormous desk and went to open the door. There was Gumshoe, of course, but there was someone else with him, too. All Phoenix could see of the person was a pair of giant pink glasses...

Gumshoe grinned. "We got your fingerprint analysis for ya, pal! Took 'em long enough, but they said it was because of all the dirt on the handle..." He fidgeted slightly. "Hey, um, I'm real sorry about ditching ya earlier... I just didn't think I was much help, and I... well... Please accept my apologies!"

Phoenix held up his hands and shook his head. "No, it's okay. Really, I get it."

Gumshoe looked relieved. "Thanks, pal." He stepped into the office and motioned towards the person behind him. "Guess who decided to drop by?"

Phoenix stared. "Ema?"

The aspiring forensic investigator grinned. "Hi, Mr. Edgeworth!" She held up a plastic evidence bag. "I brought the knife handle, since they're finished with the fingerprint analysis." She pouted. "I could've done it myself, scientifically, but I'm not technically a forensic investigator yet..."

Phoenix blinked. He hadn't really seen Ema Skye since her older sister's trial a couple of years ago... she definitely looked a little older. She still had her signature obnoxious pink glasses and white lab coat, though. He smiled and took the evidence bag. "Thanks. So, how are you doing? What have you been up to these days?"

Ema looked at him strangely. "Umm, well, not much has really changed since I saw you last week..."

Phoenix blinked. "Oh..." _How did Edgeworth manage to run into her before I did? I didn't even know she was back from Europe..._

Franziska cleared her throat. "Vell? Whose fingerprints did you find?"

Ema pulled her glasses down from the brim of her white hat and set them in place atop her nose. "Scientifically speaking, all of the fingerprints on that handle belong to Marie D'angelo," she said, then turned to Phoenix. "Well, except for yours, Mr. Edgeworth. There were more than a few dirt-covered partials that the lab guys had to clean off... why weren't you wearing gloves?"

Kay shot him an I-told-you-so look. Phoenix ignored her and inspected the evidence bag. "Well, this is certainly good news," he said, turning to Franziska. "This should be decisive enough for the Judge, right?"

Franziska nodded. "It vould be perfect if you hadn't rubbed your filthy fingers all over it..."

Phoenix resisted the urge to snap at her and set the evidence bag on the desk. "Great." He folded his arms and smiled. "Thanks, Ema. I guess that means we're done investigating for today."

Kay jumped up off the couch and whooped. "Awesome!" She turned to Phoenix. "So, what are we gonna do now?"

Phoenix glanced at her. "Um, go home?"

Kay punched him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can't just kick us all out! We haven't even had any dinner or anything yet!"

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to feed you?! Since when was that part of the deal?!"

Kay looked miffed. "Since, like, forever! Geez, you're really stingy!"

Klavier hopped up off the couch. "Achtung! Don't make the Fraulein starve!" He rubbed his hands together. "I think ve should get Chinese..."

Phoenix placed his hands on his hips. "I am not ordering Chinese!"

Ema scribbled in her notebook excitedly. "By my calculations, if you were to purchase five large pizzas, each of us could have approximately 6.6666 slices..."

Gumshoe looked ecstatic. "Wow! Six whole slices?! I haven't had that much pizza in months!"

Franziska flicked her whip in the air. "Buy me food."

"No!" Phoenix protested. "Get your own food! I'm not feeding all of you!"

Kay grinned. "Alright, pizza it is!" She tugged at the bottom of her left glove. "You know what we should do? We should make a party out of this!"

Klavier snapped his fingers. "Jawohl, baby! I've got just the thing!" He grinned. "Two beautiful Boses are sitting downstairs at my desk at this very moment!"

Kay looked confused. "What's a Bose?"

Ema held up a finger. "Scientifically speaking, they're speakers."

Klavier nodded. "Just let me bring those puppies up here, and ve'll have the best prosecutor's pizza party around!"

Phoenix's eye twitched. "Wha- ?! Who said anything about a party?! There's not going to be a party!"

Gumshoe gasped excitedly. "Hey pals, I think I know where they keep the black-lights and stuff!" He turned to Klavier. "Let's go get your speakers, and we can pick up some of those babies on the way back!"

Klavier nodded. "Wie cool!" He and Gumshoe exited the office, slamming the door behind them.

Franziska sat down at the desk and turned on Edgeworth's laptop. "Vell, if ve're going to throw a party, it must be perfect," she said. "Six people is simply not enough. I'll invite some of the other prosecutors vhile you set things up."

Phoenix gaped. "Wha... what?! What?!"

Ema scribbled in her notepad. "Scientifically speaking, parties need brightly-colored drinks," she said. "I have the perfect formula for making some really smooth stuff..."

Phoenix stared at her. "Ema, you're underage!" he scolded.

Ema shook her head at him. "It's not alcohol, it's SCIENCE!" And with that, she headed for the door. "I'll run down to the lab and whip some up! Be back in a bit!"

Kay grinned excitedly. "This is gonna be so awesome!" She started pushing the couch towards the wall of the office. "I'll move some of this furniture out of the way so we have some more room! And then I'll order the pizza!" She turned to Franziska. "How many do you think we'll need?"

Franziska looked up from the laptop screen. "At least ten. Payne and Ichiyanagi already confirmed, and it sounds like McCoy, Carver, and Gregson are all interested." She cracked her knuckles. "I'd better invite Klavier Gavin's detective friend, too... vhat vas his name again? Crescendo?"

Phoenix leaned back against the wall, almost in a state of shock. How in the world did this happen...?

* * *

**Author's Note: How indeed... poor Nickles will be paying for ten pizzas.**

**Somehow, I feel like if there was anybody who actually liked the food at Tres Bien, it would be Edgeworth. I really wanted to get to the restaurant in this chapter, but I guess we'll all just have to wait a bit. **

**I've now officially decided that this takes place recently after the events of AA:I, so Ema's on summer vacation, scientifically speaking. **

**Also, to anyone who may have read 'Operation: Turnabout Birthday Present,' the fabled 'Warrior of Great Justice' mini-series has officially come into being. Whether or not it was written by Miles Edgeworth in this instance, I will leave to your imaginations. **

**McCoy, Carver, and Gregson are all very thinly-veiled references... two are prosecutors and one is a detective. An Internet cookie to anyone who can tell me what they're all from...**

**I'm sure nobody really cares, but here's some pencil sketches of TGW-related things (Marie D'angelo, Jane Doe, Beat-Up-Nickles Day), just in case you were wondering what they looked like: ht tp / / fav . me / d6hfa3r**


	11. Prosecutor's Pizza Party

Date: August 4

Time: 6:18 p.m.

Location: Tres Bien

Edgeworth folded his arms and glared furiously. "You CANNOT be serious!"

Larry flinched, stepping backwards, and squealed. "Pleeeeeaase don't hurt meeeee ~ !"

Edgeworth gritted his teeth. "Do NOT attempt to flee, Lawrence Butz! I demand an explanation!"

Larry gulped visibly. "D- Don't use my full name like that! It's scary..."

Edgeworth glared at him. "Why on earth..." he growled, "did you feel the need to drag me all the way out here... if all you wanted was someone to help you eat this pile of food?!"

Larry held up his hands. "H- Hold on, let me explain... see, I came here with Chelsea, and then she just dumped me in the middle of our meal and left me with all this food... I mean, she paid the bill already but there's just so much..."

Edgeworth sighed. "Why don't you just take it home and eat it later?"

Larry glanced around furtively. Aside from him, Edgeworth, and Pearls, the restaurant was completely empty. "Listen, man," Larry said, voice lowered. "The chef dude here is really weird. He says he doesn't have any boxes 'cause the food can only be really enjoyed inside the restaurant. He won't throw any of it away, either..."

Edgeworth grimaced. "Alright, so you want me to help you finish the food. But I still don't understand how this in any way qualifies as an emergency..." He glanced over at the food in question. "It looks like both plates are almost completely untouched," he mused. "Why didn't you even try eating it yourself before resorting to calling outside help?"

Larry made a peculiar face. He looked rather like a llama that was about to vomit. "No way, dude, that food is completely disgusting," he muttered. "You're such a strong person, I figured you could handle it." He held a hand over his heart dramatically. "But with my tender, sensitive constitution, I'm afraid the shock of eating all of that myself would simply kill me!"

Edgeworth rolled his eyes, but inwardly, he was pleased. _If he's going to give us the food for free, Wright's finances may not have to suffer after all._ "Well, luckily for you, I happen to like the food here," he said, folding his arms and tapping his finger. "Although I'm not entirely surprised by the fact that you don't care for it... clearly you have no taste."

Larry stared at him strangely, but he didn't seem inclined to argue. Shrugging dismissively, he motioned towards the uneaten food. "Hey, thanks for helping me out, Edgey..." He grinned sheepishly. "You're a real life-saver!"

Edgeworth shot Larry a glare to let him know that he was still displeased before stiffly sitting down at the table. Pearls, who'd been rather quiet for the past couple of minutes, hopped onto the chair across from him and studied the plate of food in front of her. "This is Freh-nch coo-iz-een?" she asked, eyes wide. "It looks so pretty..."

Larry cleared his throat. "Hey, um, Edgey, I'm really thankful for your help, man, but..." He looked somewhat guilty. "Just don't make the little girl suffer, okay? Pearls is too innocent! I'd feel like a terrible person!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Whatever are you talking about?" He dug his fork into the dish in front of him, a quiche of some sort. "Honestly, why you, of all people, would pass up perfectly good food is beyond me." With that, he lifted the fork up to his mouth and took a bite.

After about two seconds of chewing, his eyes widened slightly and he started to gag. It took nearly everything he had to avoid spitting the stuff back out. After a couple more chews he was able to force himself to swallow; that action alone left him gasping for air and trembling.

Inwardly, Edgeworth was shocked and confused. _I can't believe it... it __is__ disgusting! Unbelievably so! But I normally like this food..._

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail worriedly. "Mr. Wright-werth, you look a little green..."

Edgeworth was too absorbed by his increasingly horrifying thoughts to hear her. A connection was forming in his mind, and he didn't like its implications one bit. _First I lose my fear of elevators, and now I'm tasting things differently... _He felt a small lump in his throat. _What is happening to me?! Am I... turning into Wright?!_

Pearls' eyes widened with concern. "Mr. Wright-werth! Are you okay?!" She paused, chewing on her thumbnail. "Did... something strange happen?"

Alarm bells started going off in Edgeworth's head. He hadn't voiced any of his concerns... how did Pearls know to ask about "something strange"? Edgeworth frowned. It seemed like the tiny spirit medium knew more about what was happening than she was letting on... He looked her in the eye. "Pearls, is there something you're not telling me?" he asked, speaking slowly and firmly.

Pearl's bottom lip trembled, and for a moment she looked torn. "Umm... I..." She smiled weakly. "I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Wright-werth..."

Suddenly, Edgeworth heard the clanking of chains, and five large red locks appeared in the air in front of Pearls. Edgeworth gritted his teeth. _Psycho-locks... and there's so many..._

Pearls looked guilty. She probably knew he could see the locks. "I'm sorry," she said, eyes on the floor. "I can't tell you. I promised Mystic Maya..."

Edgeworth blinked. "You spoke with Maya?" He folded his arms. "When?"

Pearls gasped and held a hand over her mouth. "Oh! I, uh... I... umm..."

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "Pearl Fey, what did Maya tell you?"

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail and smiled sheepishly. "W- Well, she said she found an ancient text with the secret technique she needs to switch you back, but... she hasn't figured out how to read it yet..."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. The Psycho-locks were still there, so there had to be more; however, he didn't think he'd get anywhere pushing her now. He sighed. "Did she say when she plans on coming back?"

Pearls shrugged. "Mystic Maya said she's not sure..." She perked up a little. "But she thinks it'll be soon!"

Edgeworth nodded. "Well, that's good news, I suppose..." He decided to drop the issue of Pearl's secret for now; he knew from experience that if he deliberately refrained from bringing it up, Pearl's guard would be down the next time he was ready to question her about it. However, the question of what these strange occurrences could mean still burned at the back of his mind. He knew, deep down, that no matter how he tried to rationalize these recent events, they simply defied logic; that fact alone was perhaps what scared him the most.

Suddenly, Larry cleared his throat, interrupting Edgeworth's thoughts. "Um, I really don't know what's going on right now," Larry began, scratching his head, "but... are you still gonna eat that?"

Edgeworth glanced down at the plate of food before him and almost immediately started to feel sick. He closed his eyes and grimaced. _I should never have come here..._

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 6:23 p.m.

Location: High Prosecutor's Office 1202

Phoenix leaned on the edge of Edgeworth's desk (which had been pushed up against the back wall) and surveyed the scene in front of him with some astonishment. In less than twenty minutes, Kay and company had managed to turn the office into a full-blown discotheque. Klavier's 'Boses' were now blaring out a mix of German techno, popular American dance music, and a bunch of songs by a band that Phoenix didn't recognize. The songs in the third category all seemed to be about trials or law enforcement, which struck him as odd, but appropriate.

Franziska hadn't been kidding when she promised to invite as many people as the room's occupancy regulations would allow. Phoenix scanned the room, and though he recognized a few faces, most of the people there were strangers to him. For some reason, he'd always gone up against the same prosecutors over and over in court... he wondered why that was.

Looking through the crowd was a little difficult, since Gumshoe had turned off the ceiling lights and strung up a line of black-lights to "set the mood." Phoenix was, however, able to spot Winston Payne; the glare on the prosecutor's enormous glasses kind of reminded him of a lighthouse, flashing on and off as the man moved about the room. Turning to his right, Phoenix saw Kay and Klavier dancing together... they looked like they were having fun. There was another guy near them, and he had this really weird, phallic-looking blue hair that shot straight forward from the top of his head; whenever anybody got within a foot of him, his hair would hit them in the face. It was kind of funny to watch, especially when he accidentally poked Kay with it and she kicked him in the shins.

A couple feet away, Phoenix could see Gumshoe chatting with somebody... upon closer inspection, he discovered it was Maggey. It looked like she was laughing, probably at some joke the detective had told. Phoenix smiled slightly. _Good for you, Gumshoe._ Although, since Maggey Byrde wasn't a police officer anymore, he wasn't sure how she'd gotten invited to the "prosecutor's pizza party"... he decided it didn't really matter. After all, he didn't really deserve to be here, either, but somebody had to pay for the pizzas. He'd felt kind of bad using Edgeworth's credit card, especially after seeing the bill, but it couldn't be helped... Franziska had threatened to skip rope with his entrails.

Suddenly, Ema popped up out of nowhere and nudged him off the desk. "Hey, make some room, please!" she shouted over the music. "I need this desk for the drinks!"

Phoenix noticed that the aspiring scientist was carrying a cardboard box full of shot glasses, as well as a huge beaker full of a glowing blue liquid that sloshed around like watered-down Jell-O. He raised an eyebrow. "Ema, what exactly is that stuff?"

Ema set the box down on the surface of the desk, walked to the other side, and started pulling out shot glasses and setting them on the desk. "It's SCIENCE!" she exclaimed, starting to pour the blue liquid into one of the glasses.

Phoenix grimaced. "I know that... but what _is_ it?" He watched her pour the stuff into another glass. "It looks kind of... gloppy."

Ema stroked her chin thoughtfully, studying the beaker through her pink 'science goggles.' "Hmm... it might be too viscous," she muttered. "Maybe I'll have to put some more water in it, scientifically speaking..." She held up a shot glass. "Will you test some for me, Mr. Edgeworth?"

Phoenix narrowed his eyes. "...only if you can tell me what it is."

Ema was quiet for a long time, staring at the shot glass in her hand. Eventually, she looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. "It glows..."

Phoenix stared at her. After a couple of moments, he sighed and shrugged. "Good enough."

Ema grinned brightly and handed him a shot glass. "I can tell you it isn't toxic," she said. "And it's probably not Luminol... although it does seem to glow brighter under the black-lights..." She opened up her notepad excitedly. "You'll have to tell me what it tastes like!"

Phoenix sighed. "Fantastic..." He didn't want to disappoint Ema, but he really didn't want to drink that stuff, either... there was only a tiny amount of it, though, so he might be able to swig it down without thinking too much. He took a deep breath to prepare himself, closed his eyes, and gulped down the iridescent "science."

Surprisingly, it was pretty good... and it had kind of a pleasant aftertaste. Phoenix ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek; it almost tasted like strawberries.

Ema watched him expectantly. "Well? How is it?"

Phoenix smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. "Not bad, Dr. Skye," he said. "A little 'viscous,' but it tastes kind of like strawberries..."

Ema scribbled furiously in her notebook. "Intriguing..." She held up another shot glass. "Maybe we should do a second trial!"

Phoenix held up his hands. "Umm, maybe we should save some Science for everybody else..."

Ema pushed up her sleeves. "Oh, yeah! If other people drink it, that'll add a variable that I can use to map the formula's effectiveness by gauging their reactions..."

Phoenix sighed and shook his head. Leave it to Ema to turn a party into an experiment...

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump. Phoenix turned and saw Franziska von Karma standing next to him, whip in hand.

"Vhat in Himmel is that... stuff?" she asked, eyeing the glasses of blue liquid with disdain. "It looks like Luminol..."

Phoenix picked up a glass and held it out to her. "It's Science," he said. "Care to try some? It tastes like strawberries..."

Franziska folded her arms. "Nein, danke." She glanced at him. "So, Phoenix Wright, are you enjoying our perfect prosecutor's pizza party?"

Phoenix laughed. "Hey, that's pretty good! 'Perfect prosecutor's pizza party'... You got it up to four!"

Franziska raised an eyebrow. "Four? Vhat do you mean?"

Phoenix shook his head. "Never mind." He turned back towards the desk. "Hey, can I get another round over here?"

Ema grinned. "One Science, coming right up!" She passed him a glass, and Phoenix took his time sipping it. It really was pretty good...

Franziska scowled. "Please tell me that isn't alcohol..."

Phoenix sighed. "It's not alcohol, it's Science."

Franziska tugged her whip taut. "You've said as much, but vhat _is_ it?!"

Phoenix shrugged. "It glows..."

Franziska grimaced. "Perhaps I really don't vant to know..." She glanced at him. "It must be difficult for you, I suppose... to be suddenly thrust into a whole new unfamiliar world like this." She narrowed her eyes. "If you need anything, I guess you can... call me."

Phoenix was stunned. "Franziska... that was really... nice." He smirked. "Does this mean you have a heart, after all? Next you'll be skipping through fields of flowers and carrying baskets of puppies..."

Franziska whipped him across the face. "Foolish fool," she growled. "Vhy must you always say the most foolish things?!" She wagged her finger at him and smirked. "If I vas to carry around a basket full of baby animals, they vould be tigers."

Phoenix sighed. "Of course, how... foolish of me." He grinned. "Hey, you didn't deny the skipping through flowers part..."

Franziska whipped him again. "If I ever feel the urge to do so, I vill let you know," she huffed, and headed towards the front of the office, where it looked like Kay and Klavier were trying to see how many chess pieces they could balance on the third kid's obnoxious hair. From the looks of things, they were up to seven.

Suddenly, the office door swung open with a bang, instantly filling the room with yellow light. Phoenix had to blink a couple of times before his eyes could adjust; once they did, he saw a tall wolfish-looking man with spiky brownish hair and a fur-rimmed jacket framed in the doorway.

The man, quite literally, growled. "Prosecutor!" he shouted. "I have something to discuss with you!"

Pretty much everyone in the room turned and stared at him. Wolf-man growled again. "Not you, the one with the ruffles," he clarified.

Phoenix gulped. _Uh oh... once again, I have never seen this person before in my life._

Kay might have guessed his problem, because she suddenly stepped forward. "Interpol Agent Lang? What do you want?" She didn't sound extremely pleased.

Lang scanned the room and scowled. "What is this? A party?" He huffed. "I spend my whole week working hard, and here you all are, hardly working." He turned to Kay; apparently, he couldn't see Phoenix where he stood in the back. "I've got business with Mr. Edgeworth," he stated blandly. "Is he here?"

Kay nodded. "He's in the back."

Lang nodded and started making his way towards the Science table. Phoenix grabbed another shot glass and gulped it down. For some reason, the Interpol agent made him slightly nervous. _Too many frightening people in this room..._

Lang pushed past Payne and stood to face Phoenix, smirking. "Well, well, well... I never really pegged you as the partying type, Prosecutor..."

Phoenix sighed. "Believe me, I have no idea how this happened." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the rest of the crowd starting to get back to whatever they were doing before the interruption. He thought he saw Franziska eyeing him from a few feet away.

Lang shrugged. "Hey, I don't really care about what you do in your spare time." He held up a thin manilla file. "I'm here about the smuggling ring."

Phoenix blinked. "What smuggling ring?"

Lang stared at him, mouth parted slightly. It was a classic 'are-you-freaking-retarded?!' stare.

Phoenix coughed. "Ha ha, just kidding," he said, grinning. "Of course, it's _that_ smuggling ring..." _Oh God what have I done?_

Lang shook his head. "Lang Zi says: 'A lone wolf should not stray into unfamiliar territory.'"

Phoenix stared at him. "...What?"

"Don't try to be funny," Lang said bluntly. He hefted the file. "Even though we finally caught Alba, some of the other members of the ring have been causing trouble. After months of non-stop investigation, Interpol managed to track two of these stragglers down."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. He had absolutely no idea what the agent was talking about. "Okay, so what does this have to do with me?"

Lang narrowed his eyes. "Well, we tracked the two to this area, but we only know the identity of one." He folded his arms. "His name is Kyle D'angelo."

Phoenix's eyes widened slightly as he realized what that meant. "...Oh."

Lang growled. "Yeah."

* * *

**Author's Note: Perfect Prosecutor's Pizza Party! I like alliteration! Although it would be more fun to call it a German Sparkle Party...**

**I am officially a college student for the first time now, so my update schedule will probably be a little less frequent, at least until band camp is over. 12-hour marching rehearsals make it kinda hard to write fan fiction. **

**Behold, the dreaded Tres Bien food! Probably more suspect than Ema's Science. **

**Agent Lang cameo. Because you all knew it needed to happen eventually. Also, another plot twist! By the end of this thing even I might not know what's going on.**


	12. Return of the Dreaded Elevator

Date:August 4

Time: 6:28 p.m.

Location: High Prosecutor's Office 1202

Phoenix stared at Agent Lang, shocked. "So the victim in the case I'm working on right now, Kyle D'angelo, was actually a member of a smuggling ring?!" He still didn't know what the smuggling ring was or what it did, but he had a feeling this new information would make the case a lot more serious.

Lang nodded. "Yeah, that's right." He bared his teeth menacingly. "I spent months tracking that scum down myself, and for what?! All that work, just to find out the guy's dead!" He turned to Phoenix. "So, who offed my prey? There's a chance that whoever did it could be the second smuggler."

Phoenix blinked. "You mean the one you couldn't identify?" He had to admit, it was an intriguing idea. However... Phoenix stroked his chin thoughtfully. "But we found a wedding ring left at the scene, and the killer deliberately cut off the victim's finger in order to remove _his_ ring. What reason would an angry smuggler have to spend so much time on something like that?"

Lang shrugged. "Whatever. You can have your theory, and I'll have mine." He clasped his hands. "Lang Zi says: 'if you want to find a wolf, first find his pack.'"

Phoenix stared at Lang. "Again, what?!"

Lang sighed. "The second smuggler is still at large. I came to you because you can tell me about the victim's contacts." He grinned wolfishly. "Odds are, one of them's my man."

Phoenix wasn't exactly sure how that worked, but he didn't feel like arguing with the agent. "Well, in answer to your first question, we've charged Kyle's wife, Marie, with his murder," he said, "and as for his other contacts, I'd have to check the file..."

Lang folded his arms. "Alright, so check the file."

Phoenix sighed. "Okay, okay, no need to get all impatient…" He headed towards the other side of the desk and nudged Ema out of the way. He remembered shoving the files in a drawer for safe-keeping right before the party started, but he couldn't remember which drawer. And, for some reason, Edgeworth's desk had a ton of drawers.

He picked up a shot glass off the surface of the desk and handed it to Lang. "Wanna try some Science?" he offered. "This might take a bit…"

Lang stared at the glowing blue liquid, his face a mixture of disgust and extreme trepidation. "What in the world is that… stuff?!"

Phoenix rolled his eyes. He was starting to get tired of explaining this. "It glows…"

Lang took the glass and sniffed it warily. "Kind of looks like Luminol…" he muttered. "Smells like it, too."

Phoenix shook his head. "Ema said it's definitely not Luminol, and it's most likely not toxic." When Lang raised an eyebrow, Phoenix grinned. "It tastes like strawberries…"

Lang crinkled up his nose, grimaced, and set the glass back onto the desk. "I think I'll pass…"

Phoenix shrugged. "Okay, whatever… it's really good, though…" He flicked on the desk lamp (it was still kind of hard to see with only the black-lights), bent down, and started pulling open drawers and checking their contents. Most of them contained boring, typical Edgeworthian things, like staples, paper clips, spare cravats, fancy fountain pens, and copies of the U.S. constitution, but Phoenix noticed that one drawer on the right side appeared to have a half-open false bottom. Instantly curious, he lifted up the thin piece of wood and discovered… three Steel Samurai Collector's Edition DVDs (seasons two through five), a Steel Samurai graphic novel adaptation, tickets to a Steel Samurai show, and one lonely out-of-place Jammin' Ninja postcard. He narrowed his eyes and slid the false bottom back into its rightful place. He hoped he could kind of just forget about what was in that particular drawer...

After looking through every single drawer in the desk, Phoenix opened the very last one and, lo and behold, spied the files sitting on top of some envelopes and sheets of return address labels. He instantly grabbed the files out of the drawer and started leafing through them, looking for the page that listed Kyle D'angelo's close friends and professional contacts. Upon finding it, he withdrew it from the file so rapidly that he gave himself a tiny paper-cut, and handed it to Agent Lang. Sucking on his finger, he motioned towards the paper with his free hand. "Those are all the people Mr. D'angelo kept in regular contact with… at least, to our knowledge."

Lang studied the paper. "There's only five names on here…your vic must've kept to himself." He grinned. "Well, that should make my job easier, I suppose."

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Wonderful." He heard a new song start to pound out from the speakers, and everyone else in the room started clapping, cheering, and singing along.

Lang's ears pricked up, and he began to smile. "Hey, I know this song…" He started to rock up and down on his heels in time with the beat. "_Thirteen Years Hard Time for Love_… it's really popular in Zheng Fa right now."

Phoenix took a second to listen to the song; he actually did recognize this one from somewhere. Maya might have made him listen to it once. He raised an eyebrow. The lead singer sounded oddly familiar...

Suddenly, Phoenix felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Herr Bangs!"

Phoenix spun around to find himself face-to-face with Klavier the intern. The blond teen smiled; his shiny white teeth were even shinier under the black-lights. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, but Fräulein Kay vants you to come play a game of criminal-justice-themed charades vith us..."

Lang narrowed his eyes, unimpressed. "In that case, I'm leaving." He held up the list of Kyle's contacts. "Do you mind if I take this with me?"

Phoenix sighed. Lang's expression said that he wasn't really asking permission. "Fine, but make sure I get it back soon," he said. "My trial will be over the day after tomorrow, if not sooner."

Lang grinned. "Right. I'll make sure you never see this paper again." He turned towards the door. "Enjoy your party, Prosecutor."

As Lang left, Klavier turned to Phoenix and grinned. "So, how do you like the Musik?"

Phoenix shrugged. He didn't really listen to this kind of music often… "It's pretty good, I guess."

Klavier smiled. "I'm glad to hear that... I spent months on it."

Phoenix blinked. "Um, what?"

Klavier chuckled. "Hast du echt nicht gewusst? Wie komisch!" He fingered the stylized "G" that he wore on a chain around his neck. "I told you I'm in a band; the Gavinners. This is our first big hit! It vent platinum almost overnight..." He flicked his bangs. "Sorry, I don't mean to brag."

Phoenix stared. When the blonde teen had told Kay he was in a band, Phoenix hadn't believed him. He still might not believe him… "If this song is such a hit," he said, raising an eyebrow, "why are you interning at the prosecutor's office? Shouldn't you be out touring or something?"

Klavier vehemently shook his head. "Nein, nein, sicher ist dieser Beruf viel, viel wichtiger als meine Musik! Das ist ja so..." Noticing Phoenix's blank stare, he smiled sheepishly. "Tut mir leid, sorry. I haven't been back in the U.S. for very long; the last time I came here vas almost four years ago. Sometimes I slip into Deutsch vhen I get excited." He clasped his hands. "Vhat I meant to say is that I vouldn't give this job up for anything… being a prosecutor, I mean. Sure, the band is fun, and we are making a lot of money right now, but it's really more of a hobby to me." He grinned. "Although it is nice to see my face on some teenage girls' pillow covers…"

Phoenix sighed. "I'm just gonna assume that wasn't supposed to sound as creepy as it did."

Klavier blinked. "Creepy? Wieso?" He shrugged it off. "So, vhat about you? You're... not really a prosecutor or something? Sorry, this whole spirit-channeling-body-switching business is really confusing to me."

Phoenix smiled wearily. "Yeah, you and me both." He folded his arms. "I'm actually a criminal defense attorney, and I have my own firm... Wright & Co. Law Offices. Maybe you've heard of it?" He smiled hopefully.

Klavier thought for a minute, then shook his head. "Nein, can't say that I have." He placed his hands on his hips. "My brother Kristoph is a defense attorney too; he's eight years older than me. He recently started his own firm, although I forget vhat it's called exactly." He smiled. "Maybe sometime I can introduce you…"

Phoenix shrugged. "Sure, maybe…" Knowing Klavier, he was slightly afraid to find out what kind of person this older brother was. _Maybe he moonlights as a race-car driver or a movie star…_

"Hey!" Suddenly, Kay shouted from across the room, waving madly at the two of them. "Are we gonna start this game or not?!"

Klavier grinned. "Moment mal!" He turned to Phoenix. "Vell? Are you coming?"

Phoenix shook his head. "Nah, I'm not really in the mood for… criminal-justice-themed charades."

Klavier shrugged. "Alright, suit yourself." With that, he turned and dashed away, but not before crashing into a corner of the desk.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash as the jolt from Klavier's bump caused the Science beaker to slide off the surface of the desk. Glass and blue glop flew everywhere as the beaker exploded; Phoenix could feel some of it splatter onto his face.

Klavier screeched to a halt and turned to face the mess, eyes wide. "Oh meine Güte…" he mumbled.

Ema stood behind the desk, almost in shock. She stared at spilled Science silently, mouth parted slightly. After a moment or two, her fists clenched and she glared at Klavier. "You jerk!" she screamed. "I worked really hard to make that!"

Klavier took a careful step towards her, hands raised. "Here, let me help… I'll get some paper towels from the bathroom..."

Ema fumed. Apparently, she was taking the spilling of her Science really badly. "Apologize first!" she snapped, hands on her hips.

Klavier folded his arms. "Hey, vhy do I have to apologize? It vas just an accident!" When Ema continued to glare at him, he sighed. "Come on, all I did vas spill some stuff-"

Ema picked up a white block eraser from Edgeworth's desk and threw it at him, nailing the teen squarely on the forehead. She clenched her fists and screamed. "That wasn't just 'some stuff,' you… you… glimmerous fop!"

Klavier stood there, gaping. He looked almost like he'd just been slapped. After a moment or two, he turned away from the desk. "I'll go get some paper towels…"

Phoenix glanced at Ema; she looked like she might cry. He really didn't have the energy to deal with this… "I'll come with you," he said, following Klavier. "From the looks of things, we're going to need a lot."

As he and Klavier headed towards the door, Phoenix passed by Kay and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, um, could you go talk to Ema for me?" he whispered. "I think there's some drama going on over there…"

Kay rolled her eyes, but she nodded and headed towards the desk. Phoenix felt kind of bad leaving Ema, but he knew he was no good at comforting girls… he only managed to deal with Maya because she was a basket-case.

As soon as Phoenix and Klavier exited the office, the blonde teen veered off towards the elevator. Phoenix frowned. "Hey, isn't the bathroom the other way?"

Klavier paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Ja, but that one doesn't have any paper towels, only a dryer. Ve'll have to go down to the first floor."

Phoenix shrugged. "Alright, you lead the way, Mr. Intern."

Klavier smiled slightly and pressed the call button. After a few moments, the shiny silver doors slid open with a ding, and Klavier stepped into the car. Phoenix followed as close behind him as he could, in case the doors closed on him or something (that had happened more than once at his apartment building). Klavier pushed the button for the first floor, and the doors slid closed.

As the car started to move, Phoenix suddenly felt this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't explain it, but somehow, he felt… afraid. As the floor numbers at the top of the car slowly ticked by, he felt his heart start beating faster, and his breathing became swift and shallow. His eyes widened. _Wh- What's going on? What is this?!_

He found himself fixating on the glowing 'lobby' button. He was starting to panic... he couldn't think clearly anymore... there was a black fuzziness starting to creep into the edges of his vision. He could hear Klavier saying something, but the sound was distorted as though he was hearing it through water.

Suddenly, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Phoenix shook his head to organize his thoughts, and realized that he'd somehow ended up on his knees. He looked up and saw Klavier holding the door open with his hand from outside the car. "...he, alles gut? Bist du krank...?" The blonde teen looked concerned.

Phoenix stood up slowly; he still wasn't quite sure what had just happened. He turned to face Klavier and smiled weakly. "...I'm alright, thanks."

Klavier didn't look convinced, but he nodded. Phoenix stepped forward, and in that instant, the blonde intern moved his hand away from the elevator door.

*THUD*

Phoenix flailed as the door closed on him, just barely managing to wriggle out of the car after a second or two. Klavier immediately rushed to his side. "Oh mein Gott, I am so sorry..."

Phoenix sighed. "It's alright... This happens to me all the time..." Inwardly, he was completely and utterly bewildered. Why in the world did he just suffer a panic attack? Was it the elevator? Phoenix couldn't remember a time when he'd ever been afraid of elevators. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. _Maybe..._ He gulped. _...maybe it was the Science. I could totally be tripping right now..._

Klavier started to head down the hall to the left. "Achtung, are you coming?"

Phoenix nodded. _Yeah... that must've just been too much Science. _He started to follow Klavier down the hall to the first floor bathrooms. _Now the question is, should I tell Ema?_

…

_...probably not. _

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 7:06 p.m.

Location: Tres Bien, Back Alley

Pearls stepped carefully over a broken bottle and glanced up at Edgeworth. "Mr. Wright-werth, why are we sneaking around back here?" She grimaced. "It's kind of dirty and gross..."

Edgeworth sighed. "I'm sorry, Pearls, but there was no other way. Butz refused to let us through the front door."

When confronted with the possibility of being forced to actually eat the rest of the now-unedible cuisine, Edgeworth had decided to grab Pearls by the hand and flee the scene. However, Larry had planted himself in front of the door to the restaurant and refused to budge, all the while whining and sobbing about his terrible situation. Edgeworth had been forced to exit through the café's back door, which, surprisingly, opened directly into one of the seedier parts of town.

Edgeworth guided Pearls towards the edge of the sidewalk in order to stay out of the personal space of an angry-looking homeless man. "Don't worry, Vitamin Square isn't very far from here," he said, eyeing the bum warily. "That area isn't nearly as bad, and I think there might be a playground."

Pearls grinned. Suddenly, her stomach growled with a loud rumble; the little girl blushed, embarrassed. "Sorry... I guess I'm kind of hungry."

Edgeworth furrowed his brow. That's right... Pearls hadn't had any sort of dinner, and it was already seven o'clock. "Well, where would you like to eat?" he asked. "Pick any place you'd like."

Pearls gasped excitedly. "Really?! Wow, thanks, Mr. Wright-werth!" She thought for a moment. "Hmm... I guess..." She clasped her hands. "Let's get burgers!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Burgers?!" _Out of all the different possibilities, she chose burgers?! The Feys must not be a very creative family, as far as food is concerned, anyway._ He sighed. "Alright, where would you like to go?"

Pearls grinned. "Well, there's this place that Mr. Nick takes us to sometimes... the burgers there are really good!"

Edgeworth sighed. How typical... Personally, he would have thought Pearls to be a bit more curious about different types of food; 'Mystic Maya' must have trained her well. He started to lead the little girl towards Vitamin Square. "Now, Pearls," he said, "you're going to have to tell me exactly where this restaurant is after we get off at the nearest subway station."

Pearls looked up at him. "Mr. Wright-werth, why don't you just get a map?"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead and smiled wryly. "And admit defeat? Never!"

Pearls giggled. "You don't like to lose to anything, do you?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "Not necessarily… I simply prefer to find the truth myself, solely by my own abilities and logic."

Pearls frowned. "So you're going to use logic to find the right street?"

Edgeworth shook his head and tsked. "Not quite." He tapped his forehead. "I used logic to deduce that, since the last subway we took had a small diagram of the different lines near the ceiling of each car, the one we are about to ride will feature the same diagram. Thus, I was able to determine that, for this particular trip, I will not require a map." He folded his arms. "However, since I have never visited the aforementioned 'burger joint,' I will have to rely on your experience in finding its exact location."

Pearls gaped. "Wooowww…" Somehow, the glaring obviousness of his slightly sarcastic 'deduction' seemed to have gone over her head. She smiled and clasped her hands. "You should teach Mr. Nick how to logic!"

Edgeworth turned a corner and caught a glimpse of a giant plastic strawberry; the subway line was just beyond the Square itself, if he remembered correctly. Turning to Pearls, he shook his head. "Unfortunately, some things simply aren't possible."

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 7:32 p.m.

Location: Two Dudes Burgers

Pearls sipped her chocolate milk happily through a bendy straw. "Thanks for taking me here, Mr. Wright-werth!"

Edgeworth sighed. "You're quite welcome." He stared at the cup of french fries he'd received, sure that something was amiss. He'd ordered a 'small,' yet there were enough greasy, crispy potato-parts stuffed into this cup to feed an entire third-world nation. On top of that, the menu here seemed to consist exclusively of burgers and fries, the former coming in patties no smaller than a quarter of a pound. He'd briefly considered ordering a kid's meal for himself, but he didn't think he'd be able to fool the teen at the register into thinking he was twelve.

Edgeworth studied the receipt; everything seemed correct. Glancing at the french fries again, he decided to look for a fork… he really couldn't bring himself to actually touch those greasy things with his fingers. He turned to Pearls. "I'm going to get a fork; I'll be back in a moment."

Pearls nodded, chewing on a bite of her mini-burger. "Okay…"

Edgeworth got up from their booth and headed towards the condiments. However, after a thorough search of the area, all he could find were napkins, ketchup, mustard, and straws. He ground his teeth. Not a single utensil anywhere! What kind of restaurant was this place?!

He turned around and walked up to the register. The kid who'd taken his order was still there; for some reason, two long antennae-looking strands of brown hair poked straight up from behind his visor. The kid smiled at him, unusually bright for someone working at a fast-food restaurant. "Can I help you with anything, sir?"

Edgeworth nodded. "Would you happen to have any plastic forks?"

The kid thought for a moment. "Actually… I'm not sure if we do… I'll go look in the back!" He whirled around, then suddenly slipped on something and fell to the ground with a yelp.

Edgeworth leaned over the counter, concerned. "...Are you alright?"

"I'M FINE!" the kid shouted, and scrambled to his feet. He then dashed off towards the back of the kitchen. Suddenly, Edgeworth spotted something small and round fall out of the kid's pocket and land on the floor. He wouldn't have noticed it, but the object appeared to be some kind of metal, and it glinted in the light. He quickly snuck behind the register and picked it up; it was a defense attorney's badge.

After a couple of minutes, the kid returned; his antennae appeared to be drooping. "Sorry, we don't have any forks," he said apologetically. "I mean, I feel like we really should, but…"

Edgeworth sighed. "That's alright." He held up the badge. "I believe this belongs to you…"

The kid jumped. "Ah! My badge!" He blushed slightly. "How did you…?"

"It fell out of your pocket," Edgeworth told him. The poor kid looked mortified as he reached over the counter and grabbed the badge. Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but I am a bit curious," he said, resting his palms on the edge of the counter. "If you are indeed a defense attorney, why are you working in a fast-food restaurant?"

The kid sighed. "Well, I only recently passed the Bar exam… a couple of months ago, actually. But I haven't been able to find openings at any firms, so I'm working here to make ends meet."

Edgeworth suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for the young cashier; though it had been relatively easy for him to find a position at the Prosecutor's Office, Mr. von Karma had arbitrarily decided not to pay for his senior year of law school, and he'd been forced to work at a frozen-yogurt bar in Nϋrnberg... Suddenly, he remembered something that the intern at the office had told him a couple of days ago. "Actually," he said, "I believe I know of a firm in this area looking for staff. I'm not sure what the name of the firm itself is, exactly, but it was just founded recently by a Kristoph Gavin… perhaps you ought to apply there?"

The kid brightened considerably. "Wow, thank you so much! I'll be sure to do that!" The kid glanced at Edgeworth's lapel and noticed the defense attorney's badge. "So, you're a lawyer too, sir?" he asked excitedly.

Edgeworth nodded, turning slightly to face the booth where Pearls was sitting. "It's been a pleasure to meet you..." He paused for a moment to read the kid's name-tag. "... Apollo."

The kid grinned. "Thank you! Maybe I'll see you around the courthouse some time, Mr...?"

Edgeworth noticed Pearls seemed to be getting antsy; he hadn't really planned on standing around so long. "My name's M- err, Phoenix Wright," he said, inwardly cursing himself for almost messing up yet again, and turned to head back towards the booth. As he went, he snuck a quick glance back at the cashier; the kid's mouth was hanging open, and his eyes were wide in awe.

As Edgeworth sat down at the booth, Wright's cell-phone started to ring. He sighed and answered it. "Hello?"

"MILES EDGEWORTH!"

Edgeworth cringed reflexively; Franziska sounded so loud and angry that he was sure she'd find a way to whip him through the phone. "I suppose you know what's happened, then," he said carefully. "Was it Wright who told you?"

Franziska huffed. "I broke him easily." She snarled. "But I vould like to know vhy _you_ did not feel the need to inform me of this, Miles Edgeworth…"

Edgeworth grimaced. No matter what he said, she was sure to become angry with him. However, he was out of whipping range… "Frankly, I didn't want you to become involved," he said. "I had been informed that this… situation was supposed to be dealt with by the end of the third trial day, at least. I didn't feel it necessary to tell you for such a short time."

Franziska growled. "Is that your only reason?"

Edgeworth thought about it. "...I suppose I didn't want you to whip me, either."

"Hmph." Franziska, luckily, did not explode. "At least you are honest…" She cleared her throat. "But that is not the only reason I am calling you. Something has happened vith the case."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You do realize that I am, for now, representing the defense?"

Franziska paused. "I am only telling you this because I don't think it vill help your case," she said finally. "I simply thought that you ought to know." She growled. "The victim, Kyle D'angelo, vas a member of the smuggling ring."

Edgeworth blinked. "The one that was headed by Quercus Alba? I could have sworn we shut them down…"

"Agent Lang came to your office a few minutes ago and told Phoenix Wright about it," Franziska said. "Apparently, there are still some foolish stragglers causing trouble; the victim vas apparently one of them."

Edgeworth's eyes widened slightly. This could change everything! "Are you at my office now?" he asked.

Franziska gasped slightly. "Ah, ja, but… maybe you shouldn't come here..."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. It was rare for him to hear Franziska sounding so… guilty. "Well, alright," he said, pretending to sound defeated. "I suppose I'll see you in court tomorrow."

Franziska huffed. "Naturlich. And I vill beat you this time." With that, she hung up.

Pearls glanced up at Edgeworth, her food finished. "What was that about?"

Edgeworth picked up her trash and placed it on the tray, covering his own untouched food. "Would you mind if we stopped by my office before we go back to the apartment?"

Pearls blinked. "Oh! Um, not at all…"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Was there something you wanted to do first?"

Pearls thought for a minute, then shook her head. "Nope!"

Edgeworth stood up and dumped the trash from their tray into the garbage can and placed the tray on top. "Alright, then." He opened the door for Pearls before heading out himself. "There's something I need to talk to Wright about…"

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay, another completely unnecessary cameo! :D (Sorry, Polly. Your lack of backstory has given me free reign…)**

**Internslator:**

**Hast du echt nicht gewusst? = Did you really not know?**

**Wie komisch! = That's funny!**

**Nein, nein, sicher ist dieser Beruf viel, viel wichtiger als meine Musik! = No, no, this job is definitely waaay more important than my music!**

**Das ist ja so… = That's just so…**

**Wieso? = How so? / Why?**

**...he, alles gut? Bist du krank? = ...hey, is everything alright? Are you sick?**

**And so, now we know why Ema and Klavier don't get along. Although, Klavier really should have sucked it up and apologized. Rude.**

**I had an elevator door close on me a couple of days ago. And then it almost closed on me yesterday. Elevators are not cool, man.**

**Also, Two Dudes. Totally not a spin-off of Five Guys.**

**Oh yes, and I know my timeline is officially screwed up so I went back and fixed some things. To apologize to you guys... have a Klavier gif: ht tp / / fav . me / d6jj7md**


	13. At the End of the Day

Date: August 4

Time: 8:04 p.m.

Location: Los Angeles District Prosecutor's Offices, Lobby

Pearls gasped, gazing around at the lobby in awe. "Wow, this place is huge! And there's so many people here!"

Edgeworth nodded. "The District does employ quite a few people… although I wouldn't call this building 'huge.' It only has twelve floors."

Pearls gasped. "Twelve whole floors?! I've never been in a place with that many floors!" She bounced up and down on her heels excitedly. "What floor is your office on, Mr. Wright-werth?"

Edgeworth glanced around the lobby; funny, it did seem unusually busy today… he wondered if perhaps there was an event of some kind. "My office is number 1202, on the twelfth floor," he said.

Pearl's eyes widened slightly. "Wow, the top floor!" She suddenly seemed to realize something. "Oh, so do they call your office the 'High Prosecutor's Office' because it's so high up?"

Edgeworth folded his arms. "No, it's called that because I am the 'High Prosecutor' for this district."

"Oh…" Pearls smiled at him. "So you must get high a lot, right? You're probably high most of the time, aren't you?"

Edgeworth recoiled. _What?!_ "No, I'm never high!" he hissed, glancing around to see if anyone had heard. "You shouldn't say such things so loudly, especially here…"

Pearls gasped. "D- Did I say something bad?" She chewed on her thumbnail. "Are other people jealous that you get to be high in the air on the top floor?"

Edgeworth sighed. _So that's what she meant…_ "No, the term 'High Prosecutor' simply means that I'm the top prosecutor in this district under the Chief," he stated. "It does not have anything to do with elevation… or substance abuse..."

Pearls looked up at him questioningly. "What's sub-stens ab-yoos?"

Edgeworth folded his arms. "Never mind…" He scanned the lobby, searching for the elevators. In all the years he'd worked here he hadn't used them once, but seeing as his phobia had disappeared for the time being, he might as well take advantage of the convenience. He also did not want to force Pearls to walk up twelve flights of stairs… it was already getting rather late, although he had no idea what the little spirit medium's normal bedtime was.

After a few moments of searching, he was able to spot the two sets of metal doors at the end of a short hallway on his right. "Come along, Pearls," he said, guiding her past the public phones and towards the elevators.

Suddenly, Pearls stopped in her tracks. "Umm, Mr. Wright-werth, is it okay if I wait down here?" she asked hesitantly.

Edgeworth folded his arms. "Of course not! I can't leave you alone with all these strangers..."

Pearls bit her bottom lip. "B- But I can take care of myself... really, I can!" She looked up at him. "You don't have to worry, Mr. Wright-werth; I know not to talk to strangers!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "But what if a stranger tries to hurt you or take you away by force? I mean no offense, but you Feys seem to specialize in getting in trouble."

Pearls nodded. "Mr. Nick said that, too." She rummaged in one of the pockets of her acolyte's robe and pulled out a small red canister. "That's why he gave me this bottle of magic dust! He says if I spray it in a bad person's face, they'll stop trying to hurt me!"

Edgeworth frowned slightly. _Pepper spray?! Pearls may actually be more prepared than I am... _"Why do you want to stay down here, then?" he asked. "I might be gone a long time..."

Pearls chewed on her thumbnail. "Umm... well..." She fidgeted. "I just... want to call Mystic Maya. To see how she's doing!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. Pearls knew he had a cell phone, and she could probably guess that he had a phone in his office, as well. So why did she need to make her call here? Obviously, she was planning on discussing something with Maya Fey that she didn't want him to hear. Most likely, it was the same secret that she hid behind her Psycho-locks... the one that continued to elude him.

After thinking for a moment, he decided to indulge the little girl. "Alright, but make sure you're extra careful while you're down here," he warned. "I won't be long, I promise."

Pearls smiled at him. "Thank you, Mr. Wright-werth!" She then skipped over to one of the phones and glanced over her shoulder; it looked like she was waiting for him to leave before she'd actually make the call.

Edgeworth sighed and pressed the call button on the elevator; soon after that, the doors slid open with a soft 'ding.' He stepped into the car and pressed the button for the twelfth floor. As the car began to move, Edgeworth noticed that the motion was actually relatively smooth, and the floors seemed to be passing by quickly. He'd never really considered what distinguished a 'nice' elevator from one that was 'not-as-nice,' but this particular one would appear to be the former… at least in comparison with the one in Wright's apartment building, which was clearly the latter.

After a few minutes, he reached the twelfth floor and the doors slid open. Stepping out of the car, Edgeworth took a moment to look around; he realized with some shame that he wasn't quite sure where he was, at least at first. Avoiding the elevators entirely had effectively kept him from ever learning where they were located. However, he was soon able to regain his bearings by reading the number-plates on the doors around him, so he headed down the hallway in the direction of his office.

Upon reaching his office door, Edgeworth immediately noticed a number of alarming, out-of-place details. For instance, there was a brown paper towel peeking out from under the door, and the carpet around the base of the door had retained impressions from at least fifteen different distinguishable sets of feet. There was also a small red splotch on the door frame near the doorknob; it looked like spaghetti or pizza sauce. That, and there seemed to be some kind of German techno music pounding through the walls, so loud that he could clearly hear and understand the lyrics from in the hall.

Edgeworth grasped the doorknob suddenly; he was pretty sure he knew what was going on behind that familiar wood, but he simply had to see for himself. A sudden wave of concern for his personal belongings caused him to fling the door open rather violently and dart inside.

Immediately upon entering the office, he had to blink a number of times before his eyes could adjust to the lighting; the room was lit only by a number of black-lights that had been hastily hung near the ceiling. Once his eyes had adjusted, they widened in shock. The whole room was filled to bursting with people, most of whom had stopped whatever they were doing to turn and stare at him; he recognized most of them as prosecutors or other members of law enforcement. There seemed to be two giant speakers sitting in front of the bookshelf where he kept his files… this was obviously the source of the music. His desk had been pushed to the very back of the room, and there appeared to be some sort of glowing blue splotches on the floor in front of it. And attempting to mop up those splotches with paper towels… was none other than...

Edgeworth felt his right eye twitch. _WRIIIIIGHT..._ He stalked towards the desk. The crowd seemed to sense his anger, because they parted like the Red Sea before him as he approached the back of the room.

Wright knelt on the ground with his head down, apparently concentrating so much on wiping the glowing floor stains that he hadn't noticed Edgeworth's entrance. Edgeworth walked right up to him and planted his feet shoulder-length apart, hands on his hips. "What in the world is going on here?!" he shouted. He felt about ready to explode.

Wright jumped and scrambled to his feet. His eyes were wide, and he looked a little shaken. "Oh! Um, you're here..."

Edgeworth fumed. "I'll ask again... what in Heaven's name are you doing?!"

Wright gulped visibly. "Well, actually, this wasn't my idea..."

Edgeworth spotted Franziska, Gumshoe and Kay standing in the corner, along with Ema Skye and Klavier the intern. They seemed to be almost hiding from him; Kay looked especially guilty.

Edgeworth frowned. "It doesn't matter whose idea it was. Why is my office a discotheque?! And furthermore, what is that blue stuff on the floor?!"

People were staring at him, but Edgeworth chose to ignore them. Right now, he could care less if they thought he was strange.

Wright scratched the back of his head. "Um, that… well, that is Science… and…" He glanced quickly over at Kay and company, then turned back to Edgeworth. "I accidentally spilled it on the floor," he said, meeting Edgeworth's glare with a look of contrite apology. "And I invited all these people, too… and I ordered ten pizzas. It was all my idea; I… thought it would be fun to celebrate after everybody's hard work today."

Edgeworth didn't need the Magatama to tell him that Wright was obviously covering for someone, but determining exactly who was at fault here could take all night; he could easily imagine any one of those extremely guilty-looking people in the corner masterminding this ridiculous "celebration." Perhaps they'd all had some part to play in this…

Wright hung his head. "I sincerely apologize for disrespecting your space... and resources…"

Edgeworth sighed. "No matter; what's done is done, I suppose." He glanced around at the crowd of people, who were gradually starting to return to what they were doing before the interruption, and took a step towards Wright. "Might I speak with you in private?"

Wright nodded, looking slightly curious. "Yeah, sure…"

The two of them made their way through the crowd to a corner of the room, right in front of the framed jacket that hid the office's secret safe. Edgeworth folded his arms. "I was told by… an anonymous source… that the victim in our case, Kyle D'angelo, was, in fact, a member of a certain smuggling ring."

Wright's eyes widened. "Wha- ?! Who told you that?" He stroked his chin. "Was it Lang?"

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Um, yes. At any rate, I thought it pertinent to discuss this matter with you." He tapped his finger. "Was the victim the only member of this ring involved in the case?"

Wright raised an eyebrow. "Well... since we are on opposite sides in this case, I'm not sure if I should tell you..." He looked like he wanted something.

Edgeworth sighed. "Of course; information does not come without a price. What is it you want from me?"

Wright grinned sheepishly. "...What is this smuggling ring, exactly? Lang kept acting like I know all about it already, so it must have something to do with you."

Edgeworth grimaced slightly. _What a brilliant deduction_... "Yes, Agent Shi-long Lang and I collaborated to capture the ring's leader, former Allebahstian Ambassador Quercus Alba. That particular smuggling ring was also being pursued by Franziska von Karma at the time." He paused. "The ring was partly responsible for the death of Kay's father, Byrne Faraday."

Wright blinked. "Oh..." He probably hadn't known.

Edgeworth unconsciously clutched his right arm to his side. "I just thought you ought to know... if Kay finds out that the ring is involved, she may get upset."

Wright rolled his eyes. "Really."

Edgeworth sighed. "Sarcasm is not always appropriate, Wright."

Wright shrugged. "Sorry..." He folded his arms. "So what kind of stuff does this ring smuggle?"

Edgeworth shrugged. "Generally art, but they seemed to be content with anything valuable… they were actually involved in the production of large quantities of counterfeit currency in the country of Zheng Fa at the time of Alba's arrest."

Wright nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm… so Kyle D'angelo was one of those smugglers… the question is, did he smuggle art, or the counterfeit currency?"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Well, that shouldn't matter to the _prosecution_, now should it? Marie D'angelo and her motives have nothing to do with the ring."

Wright groaned, but he seemed to take the hint. "So, what did you want to ask me again?"

"Did Lang mention any other smugglers who might be connected to this case?" Edgeworth tapped his finger in annoyance. "I shouldn't have to ask things twice…"

Wright grimaced. "Well, someone's certainly cranky today…"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps I wouldn't be as 'cranky' if _someone_ hadn't spilled 'Science' all over my office floor." He glared at Wright. "That hardwood flooring is worth more than you are."

Wright gulped and grinned nervously. "Eh, touche." He cleared his throat. "Anyway… Lang said that he'd tracked two of the smugglers to this area, one being Kyle D'angelo. The other one's identity is unknown right now, but Lang thinks that this mystery smuggler was one of Kyle's contacts."

Edgeworth nodded. "That would seem to make sense… although, in actuality, it might just as well be a complete stranger."

Wright shrugged. "Yeah, well, I wasn't about to tell Wolf-man that. Is it just me, or does he really not like you?"

Edgeworth grimaced. "He's actually become far more agreeable as of late… I can assure you that he was much worse when we first met."

Wright sighed. "I can't imagine how wonderful that must have been…"

Edgeworth checked his watch and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, but I really must be going now." He folded his arms. "In fact, I didn't plan to stay this long… Pearls is waiting for me downstairs."

Wright blinked. "You mean, she's alone?"

Edgeworth grimaced. "Look, it's not like I didn't try to convince her to come with me. She simply _had_ to make some kind of phone call..."

Wright grinned. "Heh, that's Pearls for you. She really can take care of herself pretty well…"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Which reminds me… did you give her pepper-spray?"

Wright scratched the back of his head. "...No comment."

Edgeworth sighed. "Well, I suppose I'll be going, then." He glanced towards that corner of the room where he'd spotted Kay and the others earlier; it looked like Franziska was the only one who'd remained in the same spot. She seemed to be watching him rather intently. Edgeworth felt like he should go and talk to her, but that was bound to turn into a long conversation, and he really couldn't stay. Like he'd told her on the phone earlier, he would see her tomorrow in court, after all.

Wright nodded. "Alright… I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He seemed somewhat relieved.

Edgeworth smiled slightly. "You had better not be late again…" With that, he turned and made his way towards the door. On the way out, he spontaneously grabbed a slice of pizza, thinking he might as well; after all, he'd probably paid for it.

* * *

Date: August 4

Time: 8:11 p.m.

Location: Kurain Village, Fey Manor

*BRIIING* *BRIIING* *BRIIING*

…*beep*

"Hello?"

"Mystic Maya!"

"Pearly! What's up?"

"Mystic Maya, I think something bad might've happened! You know, something like what you told me!"

"Calm down, Pearly! Just tell me what happened, okay?"

"W- Well, Mr. Wright-werth and I went to a restaurant, and he told me the food there was really good…"

"...and?"

"And then, he started eating, and he said it tasted bad! He seemed really surprised… do you think…?"

"...that's not good. Thanks for telling me, Pearly… this is sooner than I expected..."

"Oh no…"

"...Was there anything else?"

"Well, now that I think about it… Mr. Wright-werth seemed really afraid of the elevator. But then we went inside, and he wasn't scared anymore… he said he was fine, but I don't know…"

"What about Nickles?"

"I haven't really seen him since this morning."

"Hmm… maybe I should call him…"

"Mystic Maya, what are we going to do?"

"We're gonna try, Pearly. We're gonna try real hard to fix things, and that's all we can do."

"...Right!"

"Thanks for telling me; remember what I told you about keeping this a secret?"

"Uh-huh… although it's getting pretty hard to keep it from Mr. Wright-werth."

"...well, if he figures it out, that's not your fault. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay! ...Um, how close are you to deciphering the sacred text?"

"Hah… I actually finished already, but…"

"But what? Is something wrong?"

"The text requires a lot of weird ingredients… apparently, you have to make some kind of potion or something. I've never even heard of most of this stuff, so I'm gonna hit the library again."

"Well, um, I hope you find everything quickly…"

"Thanks, Pearly. Just keep giving me updates when you can, okay?"

"Uh-huh! ….oh, I think Mr. Wright-werth is coming back..."

"Alright, I'll let you go. Have a good night!"

"You too, Mystic Maya."

…*click*

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 2:18 a.m.

Location: Dartmoor Manor

"Aah!" Phoenix awoke with a start, covered in a thin film of sweat and trembling. The room was pitch-dark, and he was disoriented for a couple of seconds before he remembered where he was. Sitting up in bed, Phoenix took a few moments to calm himself down; he remembered leaving Edgeworth's office at around ten after the party. Most of the people had left by nine or nine-thirty, but Franziska, Gumshoe, Kay, Klavier, and Ema had stuck around to talk some more about the case. After that, he'd said goodbye to everyone and driven straight back to the giant house, whereupon he'd weirded out the butler again and gone to bed… then he'd had that dream...

Phoenix closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The events of his nightmare suddenly came rushing back, flooding his thoughts and playing themselves out once more behind his eyelids.

In the dream, he was himself again, and he was walking through the halls of the courthouse. Everything was sunny and warm, and he felt full of joy and excitement, like he was walking on air. He turned a corner, and there, waiting for him, stood Mia, his mentor, arms full of manilla files and a slight smile tugging at her lips. When he reached her side, she began to walk down the hall; Phoenix followed closely behind her as she led the way, her heels making a pleasant clicking sound with each step. Neither one of them said a word.

Mia rounded a corner, and immediately they came upon a large, shining, steel door; the courthouse elevator. Mia pressed the call button, and the doors slid open with a soft 'ding'. Smiling briefly at him, Mia stepped into the car, and Phoenix followed her.

Suddenly, the doors slid closed, and everything seemed cold and dark. The light inside the elevator was harsh and fluorescent; gone was the warmth of the courthouse halls. As the car descended, Mia opened one of her files and began to flip through its contents intently, looking for something important. The elevator's movement, silent and smooth at first, slowly became a tremendous rushing sound, as though the shaft were a wind tunnel. The rushing filled Phoenix's ears; he felt the car plummet beneath his feet, yet he stood transfixed, unable to move.

Mia suddenly pulled a piece of paper out of her file and held it up to the light. Phoenix strained to see it, but he couldn't make out what was written there. Mia turned to face him, and gravely spoke a single name: "Redd White."

In that instant, there was a crash, and the elevator began to shudder. Phoenix lost his footing and slid to the ground in a corner of the car; he could see Mia stumble and fall to her knees. The rushing sound had been replaced with a ferocious rumbling, as everything around him quaked and heaved.

The elevator itself began disintegrating, the walls of the car being torn apart piece by piece as though some mighty wind was pulling at them with relentless force. Phoenix looked around for Mia, and saw her collapsed near the front of the car. He cried out to her, but his words were lost in the swirling chaos. Suddenly, he saw a face… the face of a man. The man wore a pastel pink suit, and he was standing over Mia with a hideous grin on his face.

Suddenly, Phoenix felt something roll onto his foot. He picked it up… it was a statue of "The Thinker." Looking up, he saw the man in the pink suit stepping on Mia's back, pinning her down to the floor… Phoenix shouted, but no sound came out…

The man in the pink suit had a gun, and he was pointing it at Mia, preparing to pull the trigger. Phoenix's vision was starting to blur… the elevator car was almost completely gone now, pieces of the walls flying around him in a whirlwind of debris. Everything inside him was screaming to save Mia. In one moment of wild, frenzied desperation, he grasped the statue in his hand and threw it as hard as he could.

Everything seemed to slow down in that moment. Phoenix watched the statue as it sailed towards the grinning face of the man in the pink suit… suddenly, the statue collided with a floating piece of the elevator car and was knocked off course, towards the ground. Phoenix's eyes widened in horror… there was a dull 'thump' as the statue struck flesh… and then…

There was a scream. One long, horrible, gut-wrenching scream.

And that was when he'd woken up, the scream still ringing in his ears. Phoenix threw off the covers and stumbled out of the bed, fumbling for the light switch; even though he was only thinking back on it, the nightmare still lingered among his thoughts with terrible clarity. Finally finding the switch, he flicked it on, and the room was flooded with a soft yellow light. Having at least partially regained his composure, Phoenix breathed a small sigh of relief to see that all was, indeed, well… aside from the fact that he was still stuck in Edgeworth's body, of course. Glancing back at the bed, he noticed Pess curled up across the bottom half of the mattress, slobbering and twitching slightly but still fast asleep.

Phoenix leaned back against the wall and slowly slid to the floor, so that he was sitting with his knees up in front of his chest. He couldn't remember becoming this completely and totally disturbed by a nightmare at any point in his life. Resting his head on his knees, he closed his eyes. What could it mean? The scream, the elevator… they all seemed to remind him of something...

However, after a minute or two of pondering, he realized his two-in-the-morning, Science-addled brain couldn't seem to recall what it was. Feeling like his thoughts were spinning out in circles, he yawned, eyes still closed._ I'll figure it out later… when I'm feeling more awake…_ With that thought in mind, he slowly drifted off into a deep, blissfully dreamless sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: And that officially ends the ridiculously long twenty-four hours that were August the 4th. About one-third of our story is officially complete… I know you're all super-excited…**

**And here we have the dream sequence, a chance for me to scrape the rust off of / flex my descriptive-writing muscles. Meh, it wasn't exactly award-winning material, but it turned out alright in the end.**

**One of these days, I swear Maya is going to pop out of nowhere screaming "double, double, toil and trouble!" **


	14. Trial: Day Two

Date: August 5

Time: 8:52 a.m.

Location: District Court, Hallway

Franziska von Karma folded her arms. "Vell... I suppose I am glad that you arrived on time today, but..." She raised an eyebrow. "Frankly, you look terrible."

Phoenix yawned. "I didn't sleep very well last night..." He was aware that he probably had some pretty noticeable circles under his eyes, but there wasn't really anything he could do.

After that dream, he'd woken up again at around five in the morning, and no matter what he did, he hadn't been able to get back to sleep after that. So, he'd spent the time before the trial skulking around the Edgeworth mansion, half-heartedly exploring while munching on a bagel. Pess had followed him around constantly, to the point where it was kind of annoying. After that, he'd gone through the files again, taking the time to seriously study them this time while munching on a second bagel. Apparently, Edgeworth took the time to write down every brilliant insight that ever came into his head in the margins of his papers; however, most of these notes were completely illegible, so they'd proven to be rather useless. Besides the notes, Phoenix found that he'd already known about almost everything in the files; Edgeworth seemed to have a talent for taking something that could easily be summed up in two sentences and making it into five pages full of unnecessary legalese, which was sort of infuriating. Plus, he always wrote out _"stare decisis"_ instead of just saying "precedent," which everybody knows is a totally jerk move.

After deciding to abandon the files, Phoenix had just kind of lounged around on the couch, rubbing Pess's stomach whenever the Doberman started whining. He'd thought about the dream a lot, and after a while, he'd realized that there were some parts of it that sounded an awful lot like_ that case_… by which he meant DL-6. While most of the dream seemed to come from his own memories of Mia Fey's murder, the details had been twisted around and mixed up with the events of DL-6; like the fact that the dream took place in a courthouse elevator, for instance. Phoenix knew that the presence of these details had to have something to do with him being stuck in Miles Edgeworth's body, but he didn't have a clue as to what exactly that could mean. He did know, however, that he was significantly disturbed… he couldn't explain why, but he just had a feeling that something wasn't right...

*CRACK!*

Suddenly, the harsh sting of Franziska's whip jolted Phoenix out of his thoughts. He reeled backwards, clutching his face. "Nggaaah! Don't you ever stop doing that?!" he snapped, eyes watering slightly.

Franziska only growled. "Pay attention vhen I am talking to you!" She folded her arms. "Honestly, how could any fool as foolishly foolish as you even become an attorney at all?"

Phoenix blinked a couple of times… for some reason, he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "I managed," he said, adjusting the weight of the files under his arm. "So, today we're going to call that forensic-scientist guy to testify about the fingerprints on the knife handle, and Jane Doe to talk about the fight she witnessed between Marie and Kyle D'angelo, right?"

Franziska sighed and rolled her eyes. "Ja, natürlich. Thank you for your brilliant statement of the obvious." She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, and for your information, I happen to know that there vere a couple of times yesterday vhen you intentionally did foolish things so that Miles Edgeworth vould be able to defend your client." She tugged her whip taut menacingly. "I vant you to know that I vill not tolerate any such foolishness today. Do you understand, Phoenix Wright?"

Phoenix sighed. "Of course…" He paused; then, for good measure, added, "...natürlich."

Franziska narrowed her eyes at him. "Foolish fool! Do NOT attempt to mangle the German language any further, or you vill feel the sting of my whip!"

Phoenix cringed. "Okay, okay… I thought you'd appreciate the fact that I at least tried…"

Franziska wagged her finger. "Now vhy vould you think such a thing?"

Phoenix held his hands up in the air in surrender. "Of course, I should have realized that Franziska von Karma does not appreciate anything unless it is _perfect_."

Franziska smirked. "Vell, vell, looks like I've trained you already…" She opened up the file she was carrying and pulled out a piece of paper. "Now then, I have brought vith me a list of all the exceptions to the hearsay rule. You vill study it carefully, and you vill take it vith you vhen the trial starts."

Phoenix took the piece of paper and glanced at it. "Okay, so I made a mistake last time," he said. "But don't you think this is going a little far? There are less involved ways to rub things in people's faces, you know."

Franziska huffed. "You think I am just 'rubbing it in your face?!' You vill need this today, trust me." She narrowed her eyes. "As soon as Jane Doe takes the stand, Miles Edgeworth is going to try to get her entire testimony struck down as hearsay, so ve vill need to be ready."

Phoenix blinked. He vaguely recalled learning about hearsay in law school, but he'd never actually had to deal with it in a courtroom setting, so he'd sort of forgotten what it was. "So, _is_ Jane Doe's testimony hearsay?" he asked cautiously.

Franziska sighed. "Yes, it is. However, it should fall under the 'opposing party admission' exception... vhich is vhy I'm telling you to know vhat that is."

Phoenix nodded. "Gotcha."

Franziska cleared her throat. "Ah... There is one more thing that you need before the trial starts..."

Phoenix blinked. "Eh? What do you mean?"

Franziska reached into her purse and pulled out a long white cloth. Holding it up, she smirked. "You are going to vear this today."

Phoenix realized, with some trepidation, that the cloth was a cravat. "N- Now hold on," he said, taking a step back. "I really don't know how to tie that..."

Franziska shrugged. "Fine, then I vill tie it for you." She tugged the cloth taut, the way she held her whip when she was about to lash out at somebody. "Do not attempt to resist me, Phoenix Wright… I swear by the von Karma name that you are going to look presentable!"

Phoenix grimaced. "But I'm presentable now! Why do I have to wear that thing just to- hey!"

Franziska grabbed him by the shoulders and started to wind the cloth around his neck. Phoenix squirmed to free himself, but Franziska only tsked. "You know, the more you struggle, the tighter it's going to be," she quipped. Phoenix sighed and stood still, deciding it was probably easier just to give up at this point.

After a couple of minutes, Franziska finished tying the cravat and stepped back to admire her handiwork. "There," she said, eyeing him with satisfaction. "Now you at least look like a proper prosecutor."

Phoenix scowled. "Wonderful." He reached up to adjust the cravat; he felt like he was slowly being strangled. However, right as he was about to touch the edge of the cloth, he felt an intense stinging in his hand as Franziska whipped him with pinpoint accuracy. "Do not even think about touching that!" she snapped. "I did a perfect job tying it, and I vill not allow you to mess it up!"

Phoenix bit his lip, massaging the back of his hand to try and ease the pain. Why couldn't she ever just talk about things like a normal person?!

Suddenly, the doors to courtroom three opened, and a bailiff poked his head into the hallway. "Mr. Edgeworth, Ms. von Karma, the trial's about to start," he announced, then swiftly ducked back behind the doors.

Phoenix sighed. "Alright, I guess it's time for take two…"

Franziska pulled open the door and huffed. "At least it vill probably be impossible for you to perform any more foolishly than you did last time." She turned her back on him and stepped into the courtroom.

Phoenix followed closely behind her, smiling sheepishly. "I don't know… you shouldn't underestimate me."

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 8:52 a.m.

Location: District Court, Defendant Lobby No. 1

Edgeworth scowled. "I really ought to tell Pearls to stop channeling you…"

Mia Fey folded her arms indignantly. "Well, good morning to you, too." She flipped open the case file and leaned forward slightly as she studied its contents. "I see you've made some additions… although I can't read any of these notes."

Edgeworth turned his head and stared at the fake potted plant in the corner to avoid catching a glimpse of… her… hmm. Why did she always have to be so… awkward to be around? He didn't ask for this, but Pearls must have thought channeling Mia would help him. He really should have anticipated this and brought along a sweatshirt or something to cover her up with…

Mia cleared her throat. "I'd appreciate it if you'd look at me when I'm talking to you."

Edgeworth reluctantly turned to face her, grimacing. "What, exactly, do you plan on doing today? Not to seem rude, but I believe I've successfully adjusted to the defense side of things enough that I no longer require any help from you."

Mia huffed. "Oh, really? If you didn't need any help, then why did you bring Pearls to the courthouse with you at all?"

Edgeworth sighed. "She wanted to come! Besides, I couldn't simply leave her in Wright's apartment all alone for who knows how long." He narrowed his eyes. "Although, if I'd known she was going to channel you again, I could have found a baby-sitter…"

Mia smirked. "But you didn't, and now you're stuck with me, so why not make this easier on us both and quit griping?" She leaned back in her chair, arms folded. "So, you say you have decisive evidence today?"

Edgeworth smirked and tapped his forehead. "Indeed I do." He motioned towards the file. "If you would be so kind as to retrieve the document labeled 'Defense Exhibit B'..."

Mia flipped through the file until she found the page in question. Studying it, she raised an eyebrow. "Okay, its a picture of a pair of boots. How exactly is this decisive?"

Edgeworth folded his arms. "They're rain-boots, and they happen to be bloodstained." He smirked. "I had them analyzed; the blood definitely belongs to the victim, Kyle D'angelo."

Mia set the photo down on the table. "Right, of course… so how exactly does that help the defense?"

Edgeworth tsked. "Obviously, these boots are far too small to belong to Marie D'angelo. Her shoe size is a women's eight, while these boots happen to be a women's six. I doubt she could have squeezed her feet into these."

Mia stroked her chin thoughtfully. "I see… so this raises the possibility of a third party."

Edgeworth nodded. "Exactly." He tapped his forehead. "This should be enough reasonable doubt for even that dim-witted judge."

Mia rolled her eyes. "Just remember not to get over-confident… Phoenix has a talent for pulling things out of thin air."

Edgeworth scowled. "You act as if I didn't know that already."

Suddenly, the door to the hallway opened, and Marie D'angelo was led into the room. She sat down at the table and smiled that sickeningly sweet smile of hers. "Well, Mr. Wright? Do you think they'll find me guilty today?" She inspected her nails. "I hope it's today... I don't think I can wait much longer. The suspense is really killing me, you know."

Edgeworth grimaced. _Maybe I __**should**__ just lose today... Wright wouldn't like it, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with this crazy woman._

Mia sighed. "Actually, we may have found some proof of your innocence."

For a moment, Marie looked pleasantly surprised. "Really?" Then the moment was gone, and she was back to her usual over-dramatic self. "Oh, but it's probably already... _too late_," she said, pretending to swoon. "But thank you for trying, sweetie."

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Mrs. D'angelo, there's something I'd like to ask you before we go to trial today."

Marie inspected her nails again. "Oh, sure, dear, ask whatever you want," she said, smiling sweetly.

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. "A certain acquaintance of mine happens to be an agent of Interpol... he recently informed me of some very interesting news concerning your late husband's activities."

Marie froze, her mouth parted slightly. She blinked a couple of times, then smiled weakly. "Oh? What did he say?"

Edgeworth folded his hands and rested them on the table. "Your husband was a member of a smuggling ring. Did you know anything about that, Mrs. D'angelo?"

Marie blinked. Her smile was gone; instead, she wore an expression that Edgeworth had seen many times... she looked like she had something to hide. "Oh, how terrible!" she exclaimed in over-the-top surprise. "I can't believe Kyle would do an awful thing like that!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "So, you didn't know?"

Marie's bottom lip trembled slightly. "No, I didn't," she said.

Suddenly, Edgeworth heard the clanking of chains as three red Psycho-locks appeared in the air in front of Marie. He narrowed his eyes. This wasn't entirely unexpected, but he was certainly curious. Exactly what kind of relationship did Marie have with Kyle, and how much of a role did she play in his identity as a smuggler? He wouldn't be able to call this case solved until he knew the truth.

Mia glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. "A smuggling ring? Why didn't you say anything about this earlier?"

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Ah, excuse me, Mrs. D'angelo, but would you mind... stepping out for a bit?"

Marie smiled sweetly. "Aww, sure, dearie! I understand if you two need some privacy..." She winked suggestively.

Edgeworth felt a serious urge to vomit. "Please refrain from making any further such assumptions," he muttered. "This is about the case."

Marie raised an eyebrow. "Sure it is..." She winked at him again before flouncing out of the room, accompanied by a harried-looking bailiff.

Edgeworth turned to Mia. "I'm beginning to lose my motivation for defending her," he commented dryly.

Mia only rolled her eyes. "Alright, what's all this about a smuggling ring?" she asked, folding her arms. "That seems like a pretty important piece of information to me…"

"It might not have anything to do with the case at hand," Edgeworth replied. "That is why I neglected to mention it earlier."

Mia huffed. "The victim was a member of an underground criminal enterprise and you say it has nothing to do with the case?"

Edgeworth tapped his finger in annoyance. "I didn't say that. There simply hasn't been any clear-cut connection found as of this point in time." He paused. "However, I can't help but think that the smuggling ring plays a much larger role in this case than we are able to see; if only there were some definite proof of their involvement..."

Mia stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Well, if this ring's involved, that can only mean good things for us; this information will make it easier for us to raise the possibility of a third party with a different motive for murder." She glanced at Edgeworth. "Are you really 'acquainted' with an Interpol agent?"

Edgeworth sighed. "Well, I suppose the colloquial word 'frienemies' would describe it better."

Mia smirked. "That just sounds so funny coming from you… can I be your frienemy, too?"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes at her. "This conversation is becoming increasingly irrelevant. Was there anything else pertinent that you wanted to know from me?"

Mia shrugged. "I feel like you'd get angry if I asked if you were ready to go, so I guess there's nothing else."

Edgeworth reached across the table, pulled the case file towards himself, and closed it carefully, making sure none of the papers were loose. "In that case, I trust you wouldn't find it outrageously rude if I were to tell you once again that I really don't require your presence," he said, grabbing the file and standing up.

Mia stood up as well, leaning forward with both palms pressed against the surface of the table. "Like I said earlier, you're not getting rid of me that easily." She frowned slightly. "Believe it or not, I have a good reason to be here. Right after you and Phoenix switched, Maya channeled me on the train to Kurain. She wrote me a note explaining what happened, but she also asked that if Pearl channeled me for the trial, I should try to help you defend Marie as much as I could. This is important to her, so I'm not going to go away just because you're annoyed."

Edgeworth blinked, and turned his head in the direction of the fake potted plant again. "How many times do I have to ask you to PLEASE stop doing that?!" he muttered.

Mia smirked, and leaned forward even more. "Doing what?"

Edgeworth scowled. "Now you're just doing it on purpose..."

Mia straightened up and laughed. "You're even more fun to mess with than Phoenix!"

Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and a bailiff poked his head inside. "Mr. Wright, the trial's about to start."

Edgeworth nodded and headed for the door, deciding to ignore Mia for the time being. Unless she specifically spoke to him, he was going to just pretend the ghost-lawyer wasn't there.

As he entered the courtroom, Edgeworth was mildly surprised to see Wright already there, behind the prosecutor's bench. Despite his warning the night before, Edgeworth had been sure that Wright would be at least a little bit late. He glanced over at Franziska, who smirked at him. _This punctuality must be her doing._ After a second glance, he noticed that Wright was actually wearing a cravat today… although he still looked extremely uncomfortable in it. Edgeworth sighed. _That was probably also Franziska's doing..._

The bailiff cleared his throat as the door to the Judge's chambers opened. "All rise..."

The Judge flopped down onto his seat behind the bench and sighed heavily. "I seem to remember this case being somewhat disjointed yesterday," he commented, glancing pointedly at both Wright and Edgeworth. "Something concrete _is_ going to be presented today, right?"

Wright sighed. "Yes, Your Honor." He reached up to adjust the cravat, but froze when Franziska tugged on her whip menacingly.

The Judge checked his watch. "Good, because I need to be out of here by noon." He grinned. "I'm taking my grandson to see that magician all the young folks are talking about these days."

Wright blinked. "You mean Max Galactica?"

Suddenly, the bailiff snorted from the back of the courtroom. "No, Max Galactica is old hat. His Honor is going to see Magnifi Grammarye and his troupe at the Sunshine Colliseum."

Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but this is irrelevant, isn't it?"

The Judge blinked. "Ah, indeed." He turned to face Wright. "Does the state wish to call any further witnesses?"

Wright nodded, and placed his hands on his hips. He looked slightly more confident than usual. Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. Now that the first incredibly awkward day was over, Wright was bound to put up more of a fight. He might actually have to try today…

Wright smirked slightly. "The prosecution would like to call to the stand the forensic scientist, Doctor… um…" He scratched his head and blushed. "Um… Doctor …" He turned frantically to Franziska. "What was that guy's name again?!"

Edgeworth held his head in his hands. _Never mind…_

* * *

**Author's Note: They couldn't call Ema to the stand because she's technically not a forensic scientist, and her testimony wouldn't be very credible. So, at the last minute, I've invented a forensic scientist who shall remain nameless for now… you'll find out his name in the next chapter.**

**If Nickles thought he could get out of wearing that cravat, he thought wrong. It's almost a physical part of Miles Edgeworth.**

**Also, Franziska really should not have underestimated Nickles' ability to screw things up. Being the master of "turning [stuff] around" implies a great deal of shoddiness in the beginnings of things.**


	15. Hearsay and its Exceptions

The Judge raised an eyebrow. "Who is the state's next witness, exactly?"

Phoenix scratched the back of his head and smiled nervously. "Um... it's Doctor... um..." He could see Franziska glaring daggers at him out of the corner of his eye. He felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead. He would've remembered it, but that guy had a really weird name! It wasn't his fault!

The Judge sighed heavily. "Yes, but Doctor _who_?"

Suddenly, Phoenix gasped excitedly. "That's it! Doctor Who!"

There was silence in the courtroom as everyone stared at him. The Judge blinked. "Isn't that some kind of television show about British space aliens?"

Phoenix noticed Edgeworth glaring at him from across the room. He scratched his head. "No, the witness' name is Doctor... Hoo, or something..."

Franziska sighed. She looked like she was in physical pain. "Your Honor, my bumbling colleague is right; the doctor's name is pronounced 'hoo,' but it is spelled H-O-U-V-E."

The Judge blinked. "Oh..."

Phoenix cleared his throat. "Yeah... um, the prosecution calls Doctor Houve to the stand." He saw Edgeworth covering his face with a file; Mia was smirking, and she looked like she was trying not to laugh. Phoenix felt his face start to redden. _What a way to start the day... this is almost worse than yesterday. _

The doors to the courtroom opened, and the doctor was led to the stand by the bailiff. He was tall and gangly and had a sort of long, beak-like nose, whereupon perched a pair of giant wire-rimmed glasses. His overall appearance and twitchy mannerisms reminded Phoenix of some kind of stork. Underneath a long white lab coat covered in suspicious-looking splotches, the forensic scientist wore a dull brown vest and a gray paisley tie. He certainly looked more at home in a university than the police department.

When the doctor reached the stand, Phoenix cleared his throat. "Ah, would you mind stating your name and occupation for the court?"

Houve swiftly pushed his glasses, which had begun to slide down his nose, up to their original position. "Well, now, of course I don't mind, Mr. Edgeworth." He rested his palms on the railing of the witness stand and smiled a quirky, lopsided grin.

Phoenix stared at him. "...okay, and…?"

Houve blinked. "...and what? Specify, man!"

Phoenix scowled. "Your name and occupation!"

Houve adjusted his glasses again. "Oh, right, of course." He faced the Judge. "My name is Doctor Ashe Houve, and I am a specialist in crime-scene forensic science, currently employed by the LAPD. Although, I do consider myself to be a Renaissance man of sorts, by which I mean that my interests are varied and I have more than one doctorate..."

The Judge coughed. "Just out of curiosity, Dr. Houve, have you ever been called upon to testify in court before?"

Houve chuckled. "Of course! Although, this is my first time under the Bench Trial System." He grinned. "I'm originally from New Hampshire, you know, and they still had a jury system up until two years ago. Funny thing, this Bench System… I'm sure it says in our Constitution somewhere that all citizens have a right to a trial by jury. Ah well, the times are constantly changing, I suppose. Did you know there used to be a time when people would use ground-up bricks as toothpaste?"

Phoenix was starting to get the feeling that he had to be very careful in the way he phrased his questions to this guy… it seemed like the doctor either would not answer the question at all, or provide more information than was necessary. Glancing across the courtroom, he noticed Edgeworth grinding his teeth. His cross-examination was probably not going to be very fun.

Phoenix turned back to the doctor. "Dr. Houve, you are the forensic scientist in charge of evidence dealing with this case, is that correct?"

Houve nodded, pushing up his glasses. "Indeed it is." He stroked his chin. "Although, that was a rather leading question, I'd say… this is the direct-examination, yes? Perhaps Mr. Wright should have objected..."

The Judge sighed. "Dr. Houve, leading questions are acceptable under a Bench Trial direct examination… and please remember that the lawyers ask the questions around here, alright?"

Houve nodded. "Right. Ask away!"

Phoenix sighed. "Okay, so will you please testify about what you learned during the course of your investigation regarding…" He held up a photo of the knife handle and showed it to Houve. "...what I have labeled 'State Exhibit C.'"

Houve tsked. "You, sir, should have asked that as a question instead of a statement. I refuse to answer any improperly-phrased queries… ack!"

Franziska lashed out at him with her whip, striking him across the torso. This time, Phoenix was actually glad to have her on his side. "Just testify already, you foolish fool!" she snarled.

Houve yelped and gave a tiny sneeze. "S- Sorry, of course," he stammered. He then pushed his glasses up and collected himself.

**- - Witness Testimony - -**

**State Exhibit C**

**Well, this exhibit is, of course, a knife handle. **

**More specifically, it is the handle corresponding to the murder weapon that was previously unaccounted for.**

**I personally ran a series of fingerprint analyses on this handle, and I have determined that there were two distinct sets of prints, one of which can be disregarded. **

**The other set clearly belongs to the defendant, Marie D'angelo.**

**Not only that, but we also discovered trace amounts of the victim's blood present on the surface of the handle. **

**Isn't science incredible? You know, there was a time when criminal defendants would be forced to eat a piece of cake in order to determine guilt-**

The Judge banged his gavel. "That's quite enough. The witness will retract that last statement from his testimony."

Houve sighed. "Yes, yes, of course."

Phoenix glanced at Edgeworth; he looked slightly shocked by this new information. However, he didn't seem nearly as shaken as Phoenix would have liked. _He must have a trump card of his own up his sleeve..._

The Judge turned to Edgeworth. "Well then, Mr. Wright, you may begin your cross-examination."

Edgeworth nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**Well, this exhibit is, of course, a knife handle. **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth scowled. "What do you mean by 'of course?' All I see in that photo is a cylindrical piece of plastic. How are we to know that is even a knife handle at all?"

Houve clasped his hands. "Ooh, I see you are a follower of Descartes' theory of radical doubt! By which I mean, of course, that the mere existence of this knife handle, as well as all external objects, could very well be a deception. Quite an intriguing philosophy, that. Why, when I was a young boy I used to sit in my room playing with my chemistry set and wonder if we weren't really all just brains in vats-"

Edgeworth slammed his desk with his palm. "I'll withdraw the question if you just stop there," he muttered.

Phoenix grinned slightly. He might not even have to do anything to get this testimony to go through…

**More specifically, it is the handle corresponding to the murder weapon that was previously unaccounted for.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth folded his arms and started tapping his finger. "Can you be sure this handle belongs to the blade that was found previously?"

Houve nodded. "Indeed I can." He pushed his glasses up to the top of his nose and smiled that quirky grin again.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow and waited; when the doctor didn't elaborate, he sighed and started tapping his finger even harder. "What makes you so sure?"

Houve snapped his fingers. "Ah! You see, we used an empirical, scientific method of investigation that employed the use of formation of a hypothesis, testing of said hypothesis through scientific trials-"

Edgeworth slammed his desk again. "Shorter, and in layman's terms, please!"

Houve snorted. "My, how rude. But if you'd like me to rephrase…" He pushed up his glasses again. "We stuck the handle on the blade and it fit." He blinked, then added, "Exactly."

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth frowned. "Your Honor, such a vague experiment is hardly certifiable proof that this handle does indeed belong solely to the murder weapon-"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix slammed his desk with both hands. "Your Honor, Mr. Ed- er ,Wright is simply trying to complicate the issue!" He placed his hands on his hips. "Dr. Houve has been entered into the record as an expert in crime-scene forensic investigation and analysis. If he said the handle matched exactly, then it matched exactly."

Edgeworth recoiled. "Nngh! That still doesn't prove-"

The Judge sighed. "Sorry, Mr. Wright, but unless you can prove that Dr. Houve's opinion should not be treated as that of an expert, I'm going to have to overrule your objection." He turned to Houve. "Witness, please continue."

Houve nodded. "Of course!"

**I personally ran a series of fingerprint analyses on this handle, and I have determined that there were two distinct sets of prints, one of which can be disregarded. **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Houve, why on earth would you deem it appropriate to completely disregard a whole set of fingerprints on a murder weapon?!"

Houve glanced at Phoenix, then gave a tiny sneeze. "Well, you see, that particular set of prints was found to belong to Mr. Edgeworth." He smiled guiltily at Phoenix, as if apologizing. "I'm told he picked up the handle without wearing gloves, you see."

Phoenix felt his face start to go red again. Why did everyone have to keep bringing that up?!

Edgeworth grimaced, obviously embarrassed. "Objection," he mumbled. "That second statement was hearsay. I move to have it stricken from the record."

The Judge nodded. "So moved." He turned to Phoenix. "Any objections, Mr. Edgeworth?"

Phoenix shook his head vehemently. "No, strike away."

The Judge coughed. "Right. I hereby strike the witness's latest statement from the record, per the defense's motion." He turned to Houve. "Continue."

**The other set clearly belongs to the defendant, Marie D'angelo.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth looked slightly desperate. "Exactly what kind of tests did you use to come to this conclusion?"

Houve blinked. "Well, I believe I already told you that I ran several fingerprint analyses… I could go into the specifics of each test, but…"

Phoenix coughed. "No, no, that's okay."

Houve shrugged. "Anyway, I was able to determine that the prints belonged solely to the defendant because they were a one-hundred percent match with her prints that are on police department file. By one-hundred percent match, I mean, of course, that out of the ninety or so reference points that are evaluated by the comprehensive computer system on which these tests are commonly run, all ninety matched exactly." He pushed up his glasses. "In short, in my expert opinion, there can be no doubt that, aside from Mr. Edgeworth, the only one who ever touched this knife handle was Marie D'angelo, the defendant."

Edgeworth recoiled. "Nnngh!" He looked like he'd been dealt a considerable blow.

Phoenix found himself smiling slightly. _So this is what it feels like to have something go as planned… it's actually a pretty nice feeling._ He glaced over at Franziska; for once, she looked like she might entertain the thought of not roasting him alive. She smirked. "Only one more statement left…"

Phoenix nodded. If Edgeworth couldn't find any contradictions in the doctor's final statement, then they were in the clear… at least for this witness, anyway.

The Judge cleared his throat. "Please continue your testimony, Dr. Houve."

Houve nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

**Not only that, but we also discovered trace amounts of the victim's blood present on the surface of the handle.**

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth paused; it looked almost like he hadn't really come up with a question. "What do you mean by 'trace amounts?'"

Houve shrugged. "I suppose I mean what is usually meant by the phrase 'trace amounts;' only a couple of tiny droplets or so."

Phoenix placed his hands on his hips. "This line of questioning isn't going to get you anywhere, Edg- err, Wright! Obviously, the blood on the handle proves the fact that the defendant used it to stab her husband!"

Edgeworth stroked his chin, looking like he was in deep thought. Phoenix gulped… he didn't like the look of that.

After a few moments of silence, Edgeworth turned to the doctor. "Dr. Houve, what you just said is very interesting. Could you please amend that statement to your testimony?"

The doctor pushed his glasses up to the top of his nose. "Why, certainly!"

**There were only a few droplets of blood on the handle, but it most certainly belonged to the victim!**

"OBJECTION!"

Phoenix winced. He'd really been hoping this wouldn't happen…

Edgeworth smirked and tapped his forehead. "Dr. Houve, please recall how the victim was killed. He was stabbed five times in the chest, correct?"

Houve gave a tiny sneeze. "Ah, yes, he was indeed."

"Then why," Edgeworth continued, "are there only a couple of droplets of his blood present on the knife's handle? If he was stabbed multiple times, it stand to reason that there would be much more blood present than that!"

Houve sneezed furiously. "Err, that is, so to speak…" Suddenly, he burst into a fit of sneezing that left him doubled over and sniffling.

Phoenix slammed his desk with both hands. "OBJECTION! We've already established that this handle definitely belongs to the murder weapon!" He pointed at Edgeworth. "If you think this is a contradiction, then explain it!"

Edgeworth shrugged in that annoyingly arrogant way of his. "Well, there are any number of explanations… the murderer could have covered the handle in some way, for instance, in order to avoid leaving his or her fingerprints on its surface."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix scowled. "You can't prove that! Your Honor, this is baseless conjecture!"

The Judge stroked his beard. "Hmm… but Mr. Wright does raise an interesting point…"

Phoenix was aghast. "Your Honor, that is obviously B.S.! He just made it up!"

The Judge sighed. "Mr. Edgeworth, I'm sorry to say that I think the defense has certainly raised a new possibility… that being said, I don't believe this possibility to have any credible value, but it is a possibility that cannot be denied."

Edgeworth smirked. "What I'd like to know is why Mr. Edgeworth thinks this is so unacceptable now… after all, this is no different than my usual bluffing."

Franziska tried to whip Edgeworth from across the room, but couldn't quite reach him. She turned angrily to Phoenix. "Vell? Say something! Ve need this testimony to be perfect!"

Phoenix sighed. "But he's right… I do that all the time, and no one ever says a thing." Still, he felt a bit jilted… this must be what his own medicine tasted like.

The Judge stroked his beard. "While this is certainly a puzzling issue, I do believe I will allow the testimony to stand." He turned to Phoenix. "Does the state have any more questions concerning this witness?"

Phoenix breathed a small sigh of relief. At least the important parts of the doctor's testimony were officially on the books. "No, Your Honor," he said. "But we would like to call another witness."

The Judge turned to the doctor. "Alright, then, Dr. Houve is dismissed." He banged his gavel, and the bailiff guided the still-sniffling doctor out of the courtroom. The Judge then turned to Phoenix. "Who is your next witness?"

Phoenix blinked. "No, Houve was our last witness."

*CRACK!*

"NGAAAH!" Phoenix clutched his face, which Franziska's whip had stung like a thousand angry bees.

Franziska snarled. "Vhat do you think this is, Abbott and Costello?!"

Phoenix gritted his teeth. "Okay, okay…" He took a deep breath and folded his arms. Time for round two… "The state calls Ms. Jane Doe to the stand."

* * *

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. He'd been lucky to make it out of that testimony alive… he only hoped that Ms. Jane Doe would provide him with an opportunity to present his trump card.

Mia turned to face him. "Did you talk to this Jane Doe at all yesterday?"

Edgeworth sighed. "Unfortunately. She wasn't very forthcoming with information, though." He stroked his chin. "I seem to recall her having some of those Psycho-locks when I questioned her about the day of the incident."

Mia rolled her eyes. "They're Psyche Locks, not... whatever you just said."

Edgeworth scowled. "Fine, Psyche Locks. Does it really matter what I call them?"

Mia sighed. "I guess not... but it is important that they were there." She smirked. "You might have to break them during the cross-examination."

Edgeworth frowned. He wasn't exactly looking forward to that.

The bailiff opened the courtroom doors and led Jane Doe to the stand. Somehow, she looked even more riled and sour than she had yesterday. Edgeworth glanced at Wright; he looked almost frightened by this woman, which was concerning considering he'd spent the past day or so being constantly abused by Franziska von Karma. If Jane Doe scared Wright more than the crazy German with the whip, Edgeworth couldn't help but wonder what kind of person this witness really was.

When Jane had reached the stand, Wright cleared his throat. "Umm, could you please state your name and occupation?"

Jane snarled. "My name's Jane Doe, and my occupation is none of your business."

Wright didn't seem eager to push the issue. "Ah, how do you know the defendant, Marie D'angelo?"

Jane snorted. "That no-good scumbag is my next-door neighbor."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. She'd said some very nasty things about Marie yesterday, as well. _She must have some sort of personal connection to Marie D'angelo..._

Wright scratched the back of his head. "Okay, umm, could you please testify about what you saw on the day of the murder?"

Jane huffed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get this over with."

**- - Witness Testimony - -**

**What I Saw**

**First of all, don't go thinking that Kyle and his floozy wife were a happy couple, because they were anything but. **

**They fought all the time, and Kyle beat that woman more than once. She called the police about it just last week, I think. **

**So on the day of the murder, I wasn't surprised to see him roughing her up again in the backyard. But it was worse this time. **

**Kyle kept knocking his woman around the head, and I heard her screaming "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"**

**I guess she wasn't lying. Although I never would've thought she'd be crazy enough to actually do it. **

Edgeworth folded his arms and scowled. When he'd been preparing this case for the prosecution, he'd known this testimony was hearsay, but it felt different having to listen to it from over here.

Mia glanced at him. "You know what you're doing here, right?"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "Of course. I can get at least three-quarters of this testimony stricken if I want." He smirked. "Judging from yesterday's trial, Wright probably won't be able to offer any sort of resistance."

The Judge turned to Edgeworth. "Ah, you may proceed with your cross-examination, Mr. Wright."

Edgeworth nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."

**- - Cross-Examination - -**

**First of all, don't go thinking that Kyle and his floozy wife were a happy couple, because they were anything but. **

**They fought all the time, and Kyle beat that woman more than once. She called the police about it just last week, I think. **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth scowled. "You 'think?' Does that mean you don't know for sure?"

Jane folded her arms and glared at him. "So, you really are defending that cold-blooded killer, huh? You make me sick."

Edgeworth slammed his desk with a hand. "Objection! Witness did not answer the question..."

The Judge sighed. "Ms. Doe, please refrain from making such unrelated remarks, and answer the attorneys when they ask you."

Jane huffed. "Hey, quit ordering me around, you geriatric moron." She turned to Edgeworth. "Okay, so I said 'I think' because I wasn't home when that happened; the creepy guy who lives across the street told me after I got back."

Edgeworth smirked. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. "OBJECTION!" he shouted, pointing at Jane. "This piece of testimony is clearly hearsay! I move to strike it from the record."

The Judge nodded. "So moved…" He turned to face Wright. "I'm really only asking this for formality's sake, but do you believe this testimony falls under any of the acceptable hearsay exceptions?"

Wright suddenly whipped a piece of paper out of one of his case files and studied it frantically. Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. _Is that… some sort of cheat-sheet?_

Wright smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Umm, is it… a reputation concerning character?"

The Judge sighed. "No."

Wright studied the sheet again. "Well, then is it a… present-sense impression?"

The Judge was starting to look irritated. "No."

Wright scratched his head. "How about a recorded recollection?"

Edgeworth slammed his desk; he just couldn't take it anymore. "STOP! Just stop right there! There's no exception, so quit making a fool of yourself!" He ground his teeth. Why did Wright have to keep embarrassing him like this?! It was mortifying.

The Judge sighed. "I'm just gonna strike that testimony from the record, I think…" He turned to Jane. "Please continue your testimony."

Jane huffed. "Yeah, whatever…"

**So on the day of the murder, I wasn't surprised to see him roughing her up again in the backyard. But it was worse this time. **

**Kyle kept knocking his woman around the head, and I heard her screaming "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"**

Edgeworth slammed his desk. "OBJECTION! Hearsay!"

The Judge sighed. "Let me guess… you want me to strike it from the record."

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. "That's the idea, yes…"

"OBJECTION!" Wright pointed at Edgeworth, smirking slightly. "That testimony falls under one of the hearsay exceptions, in accordance with Rule of Evidence…" He glanced down at his cheat-sheet. "...803."

Edgeworth rolled his eyes. _Oh God not again…_

"Hey, don't give me that look!" Wright protested. "I actually know it this time!" He smirked. "That's an opposing-party admission!"

The Judge blinked. "Why, so it is! Good for you, Mr. Edgeworth!" He banged his gavel. "The testimony stands."

Edgeworth recoiled. "Nnngh!" He honestly hadn't been expecting Wright to even know what that was. He folded his arms; he'd just have to find a way to present _that_ piece of evidence after the next statement...

The Judge turned to face Jane. "Alright, please continue."

**I guess she wasn't lying. Although I never would've thought she'd be crazy enough to actually do it. **

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth shrugged and shook his head. "Ms. Doe, are you saying that you firmly believe that Mrs. D'angelo killed her husband?"

Jane scowled. "Of course, you idiot! I wouldn't be here if I didn't!" She placed her hands on her hips. "She obviously has the motive, and there's nobody else who could've done it."

Edgeworth smirked; it was a bit of a stretch, but that would have to do. "OBJECTION!" He tapped his forehead. "Ms. Doe, I don't know if you're aware, but the defense has found what we believe is proof positive that someone else did, in fact, do it."

Jane snarled, and tiny beads of sweat started to form on her forehead. "What?!"

Edgeworth reached into the case file and pulled out the photo of the boots. "If I could direct the court's attention to what I have labeled 'Defense Exhibit B'..."

The Judge blinked. "Oh, galoshes! They look quite fashionable, too… I especially like those little red splotches on the toes…"

Wright gasped. "That's blood!"

"Blood?!" The Judge blanched. "Mr. Wright, do you mean to say that these galoshes…"

Edgeworth smirked. "Yes, these boots were worn by the murderer. The blood on the toes belongs to the victim, Kyle D'angelo."

"OBJECTION!" Wright looked completely caught off-guard. "Anybody could've worn those boots… they probably belong to the defendant!"

Edgeworth tsked. "Not a chance. These boots are a size six; Marie D'angelo's hiking boots, as well as all of her other pairs of shoes, are a size eight. It would be extremely difficult for her to wear these." He folded his arms. "Furthermore, the prosecution has explained to the court time and time again how Mrs. D'angelo's fingerprints were found on the murder weapon. However, I discovered something interesting when I had the blood analyzed; no such fingerprints were found anywhere on these boots!" He pointed at Wright. "If she was sloppy enough to leave her fingerprints on the murder weapon, surely it stands to reason that she would have also left her fingerprints on the surface of her shoes!"

Wright gasped. "Aagh!" He looked completely and utterly shocked.

The courtroom erupted into a flurry of sound as the people in the gallery all began to talk amongst themselves. The Judge banged his gavel. "Order! Order!"

Edgeworth smirked. _Well, that was certainly easy… hopefully that will be enough to extend the trial to the last day._

After managing to quiet the gallery down, the Judge cleared his throat. "Well, this is certainly an intriguing development… do you happen to know who these boots belong to, Mr. Wright?"

Edgeworth sighed. "No, Your Honor."

The Judge stroked his beard. "Hmm… for some reason, I feel like this case continues to become more and more complicated as this trial goes on…" He banged his gavel. "In the absence of definitive proof for either side, I'm going to have to extend this trial another day." He glanced back and forth between Wright and Edgeworth. "Please bring this court some answers tomorrow instead of more questions… I don't think my old noggin can take much more of this."

Wright nodded, apparently recovered from his shock. Franziska fumed; she looked like she was about to explode.

The Judge sighed. "Alright then… if no one has any objections, then I'd say it's about time to pack it in for today." He banged his gavel. "Court is hereby adjourned."

* * *

**Author's Note: Poor Udgey… I don't think anybody even knows what's going on anymore. It probably doesn't help that I keep mixing the way Ace Attorney trials are run with the way real trials are run… sorry if the procedures seem really odd, because they are.**

**What did you think of Doctor Houve? I hope he wasn't too over-the-top ridiculous…**

**- - Hearsay Exceptions, Take 2 - -**

**Nickles: Is it a... certificate of marriage?**

**Judge: No.**

**Nickles: Is it a… market report?**

**Judge: No.**

**Nickles: Is it a… statement in an ancient text?**

**Judge: No.**

**Nickles: How about a judgement of a previous conviction?**

**Wrightworth: STAAHP! **


	16. The Plot Thinnens

Date: August 5

Time: 11:32 a.m.

Location: District Court, Hallway

Edgeworth folded his arms and smirked. "Well, I think that went pretty well, don't you?"

Mia sighed. "I know, I get it; you're still trying to get rid of me. Well, kudos to you, you were right about doing fine without my help." She smirked. "But you forgot to break Jane Doe's Psyche Locks."

Edgeworth scowled. "That again?" He tapped his finger in annoyance. "I didn't need to break any Psycho-locks to get the Judge to extend the trial. Besides, she probably doesn't have them anymore."

Mia raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I'd love to hear that explanation..."

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "Ms. Doe's Psycho-locks appeared when I asked her about what she saw on the day of the incident. She didn't wish to tell me then because I'd told her I was representing the defense. However, she just testified as to what she saw in open court; there's no longer anything for her to hide, thus, no Psycho-locks."

Mia frowned. "That's not how it works. Did you actually see them break?" She folded her arms. "If you didn't, that means they're still there, and Ms. Doe is still hiding something."

Edgeworth sighed. "Why must everything associated with your cursed spirit channeling operate in such arbitrary ways? Is it too much to ask for at least some logical reasoning?!"

Mia rolled her eyes. "It wouldn't seem arbitrary if you at least tried to understand it..." She shrugged. "But I can't say I blame you, really. There _is_ a reason I left that life behind, after all." She smirked. "So, what are you planning on doing now? Are you going back to the scene again?"

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. "I think I might see if I can talk to Agent Lang first; the smuggling ring is basically the only new development in this case right now." He frowned slightly. "And I suppose I might return to the scene in order to attempt to break Ms. Doe's apparently-still-remaining Psycho-locks if I have time."

Mia rolled her eyes. "They're more important than you think, Edgeworth. Don't disregard the Psyche Locks just because you're not a fan of Kurain."

Edgeworth suddenly remembered; there was something he'd wanted to ask her about. "Speaking of Psycho-locks-"

Mia scowled. "Psyche Locks."

"Whatever." Edgeworth tapped his finger. "I asked Pearls something about some disturbing developments regarding my... situation, and several Locks appeared. I've tried guessing what could be hidden behind them, but I'm afraid these 'spiritual' matters are firmly beyond my ken."

Mia blinked. "What do you mean by 'disturbing developments?' Has something happened?"

Edgeworth felt himself unconsciously hug his right arm to his side. "Well, let's just say that there have been instances where it felt as though my emotions or sensory perceptions were not my own..."

Mia stroked her chin thoughtfully. "So what you're saying is that since your spirit got stuck in Phoenix's body, you're starting to feel the same emotions or react the same way he would in certain situations?"

Edgeworth grimaced, and shuddered slightly. It was still horrifying to think about. "More or less..." A tiny part of him was rather hoping that Mia would grin and tell him he had nothing to worry about, but he knew that simply couldn't be the case. After all, why would Pearls hide this from him if it truly was nothing? Either way, he simply had to know the truth about what was happening to him.

Mia met his gaze; for once, she looked gravely serious. "I don't know much about this sort of thing, exactly," she said, folding her arms. "But I think it might have something to do with your subconscious."

Edgeworth's eyes widened slightly; the pieces of this puzzle were already starting to click into place. "I see... because something as deeply rooted in the psyche as a fear or a taste would have to exist in the subconscious mind rather than the conscious, yes?"

Mia raised an eyebrow. "Something like that."

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "So, logically, there has to be some kind of connection between my subconscious mind and Wright's at this point in time."

Mia smirked. "You're a lot better at this deductive reasoning than Phoenix is... I have to admit, it's kind of nice."

Edgeworth sighed. "I don't really appreciate having my train of thought hijacked by snide comments."

Mia shrugged, still smirking. "Okay, well, you're right about the subconscious thing. See, when a medium says 'spirit,' she really means 'consciousness;' the unconscious aspect of a person's psyche disappears after death."

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. "Are you saying that Maya would have been unable to channel our subconscious minds along with our consciousness?"

Mia pondered the question. "No, I think she might have been able to channel your subconscious at least a little bit, but she probably didn't get all of it."

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "Ah, so these strange occurrences can reasonably attributed to lingering remnants of Wright's subconscious mind having an effect on my own."

Mia nodded. "That's what I think, anyway."

Edgeworth smirked slightly. "Eureka..." He knew, of course, that this news probably wasn't good, but simply solving the problem gave him a kind of satisfaction. He would worry about the ramifications after he'd broken Pearl's Psycho-locks. He turned to Mia and bowed with a flourish. "Thank you for your help; I must admit, I would not have been able to find out the truth of this troubling matter without your expertise."

Mia raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You're welcome. Thank you for finally acknowledging me."

Edgeworth scowled. "Please don't make such a big deal out of it..."

Mia chuckled, then placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Just try to not be so serious all the time. Phoenix's body is unused to that kind of stress."

Edgeworth's gaze was fixed on the courtroom doors; he could have sworn he spotted two slightly familiar brown antennae poking above the heads of a group of people who'd just excited the gallery. He strained to see if it was, indeed, the kid from the burger joint, but it was impossible for him to tell for sure. After a few moments of staring, he sighed and turned to face Mia. "You know, I'm pretty sure that's not actually a thing…"

Pearls stared up at him quizzically. "What's not actually a thing?"

"GAAH!" Edgeworth recoiled. "S- Stop doing that!"

Pearls started chewing on her thumbnail. "I'm really sorry, Mr. Wright-werth… maybe next time you should ask Mystic Mia to let you know when she's leaving?"

Edgeworth sighed. He really had no intention of ever allowing a 'next time.' However, he had serious business to discuss with Pearls, so now probably wasn't the best time to confront her about channeling Mia Fey. He gently nudged Pearls towards the entrance to the courthouse. "I suppose we should go back to the apartment for a bit…"

Pearls glanced up at him. "Aren't we going to investigate today?"

Edgeworth opened the door for her, watched her skip down the first few steps, and followed her, allowing the door to close behind him. "We are; however, I don't believe there is much more to be found at the scene of the crime itself." He descended the stone steps carefully, glancing down the street towards the bus stop. "In lieu of better options, I'm going to call up an acquaintance of mine to see if he might be able to shed some light on the more puzzling aspects of this case…"

Pearls stared at him blankly. "Oh… um, okay." She started to chew on her thumbnail again. "Um, what does 'loo' mean?"

Edgeworth sighed. "It… doesn't really mean anything by itself. It's an expression." When Pearls continued to stare up at him questioningly, he folded his arms as he walked. "It means 'in the absence of.'"

Pearls blinked. "What's an 'ab-sense?'"

Edgeworth started tapping his finger. Yes, Pearls was a good girl… but he found himself missing Detective Gumshoe's insights. Which was really a very mean thing to say about poor Pearls when he thought about it. He resolved to refrain from thinking such things in the future.

As they walked towards the bus stop, Pearls glanced up at him. "So, how did the trial go? Did you get to show them our special piece of evidence?"

Edgeworth nodded and tapped his forehead. "Indeed I did."

Pearls grinned. "So did you prove Ms. Marie's innocence?"

Edgeworth sighed. "No. However, I was able to introduce the strong possibility of a third party, and extend the trial another day." He folded his arms. "The object of the defense isn't really to prove innocence, you know; just to provide reasonable doubt."

Pearls looked a little disappointed. "Oh... okay." She glanced up at Edgeworth. "But she really is innocent!"

For some reason, Edgeworth couldn't meet her gaze. Staring straight ahead at the bus stop, he wondered how she could be so sure.

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 11:34 a.m.

Location: District Court, Hallway

Phoenix smiled sheepishly. "Hey, come on, at least I got the right exception eventually."

Franziska whipped him across the torso. "There are no words for how foolishly foolish a fool you are, Phoenix Wright!" Once finished, she folded her arms angrily. "You could not embarrass Miles Edgeworth and the von Karma name any more if you tried!"

Phoenix sighed. "Look, I'm doing the best I can, alright?" He scratched the back of his head. "To be fair, if you wanted me to memorize that list of exceptions, you should've given it to me last night." He yawned; the slight adrenaline rush from the trial was wearing off, and he was starting to feel tired again.

Franziska raised an eyebrow. "Vhy do you look so... zombie-like today? Don't tell me you stayed up late vatching Steel Samurai re-runs or something…"

Phoenix huffed indignantly. "I don't watch that kid's show!" He stretched. "No, I just had a weird dream, that's all."

Franziska glanced at him, but she didn't question him any further. Instead, she huffed and started walking towards the courthouse doors. "Vell, good luck vith the rest of your investigation. Feel free to call me if you can't stand your own foolishness anymore."

Phoenix watched her go and sighed. "Thanks for all your help…" he muttered sarcastically. It would be nice if she actually acted like a co-counsel for once... although he could understand if she wanted to pretend she didn't know him after that embarrassing trial session.

Suddenly, he heard a faint rustling sound coming from behind him. He narrowed his eyes.

"Even in the depths of night, when no other bird dares to take flight, one alone soars to shine the- ack!"

Phoenix turned and held out his arms to keep Kay from pouncing on him. The self-proclaimed Great Thief collided with and bounced off of his arms with a yelp, winding up on the ground. She glared up at him. "Hey, what the heck, Nickles?!"

Phoenix smirked. "I may not be a genius prosecutor like Edgeworth, but at least I never fall for the same trick twice."

Kay scrambled to her feet, smoothing her skirt. "But did ya have to ruin my entrance like that?! Gosh-dangit!"

Phoenix chuckled. "It would appear that your ninja skills are no match for me..."

Kay smirked. "Bull crap!" She placed her hands on her hips. "I just _let_ you know I was here. If I was really trying, you wouldn't even be able to see me, that's how ninja I am!"

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Right..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out Edgeworth's car keys. "I'm assuming you're here to help me investigate, right?"

Kay nodded, and punched the air. "The Yatagarasu can never rest until the truth is brought to light!"

Phoenix glanced at her. "Speaking of which, what exactly is a 'Yatagarasu?' Is it Japanese for 'pink-ninja-girl' or something?"

Kay punched him on the shoulder. "Don't make it sound so dumb!" She folded her arms, grinning. "The Yatagarasu is the title of the Great Thief who steals only the truth!"

Phoenix frowned. "That didn't really explain anything..."

Kay rolled her eyes. "I was getting there, Sir Interrupts-alot!" She grinned. "Anyway, the Yatagarasu actually started out as three people, determined to bring to justice those who were outside the reach of the law. They formed in response to a dastardly smuggling ring that was terrorizing the world from the shadows!"

Phoenix blinked. _A smuggling ring? Is it the same as the one Kyle D'angelo was a member of? _

Kay placed her hands on her hips. "My father was a member of the original Yatagarasu, so it's my duty to continue his mission to steal the truth, as the second Yatagarasu!" She smiled sheepishly. "Unfortunately, I'm still in training, so I haven't actually stolen anything yet..."

Phoenix turned his gaze away from her for a moment; Edgeworth had told him last night that Kay's father was actually killed by a member of the ring. With that knowledge, he wasn't exactly sure how to handle this situation. The ring was bound to come up sooner or later...

Luckily, Kay soon tore him away from his thoughts. "Mr. Edgeworth is always such a spoil-sport," she griped. "He's always nagging me, and he won't let me steal anything!" She punched Phoenix lightly on the shoulder. "But you, Nickles... you're a cool guy."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Thanks, but don't think I'm gonna let you run around stealing things either."

Kay pouted. "Aw, come on, I thought we were friends!"

Phoenix sighed. "Well, I'm probably just going to go back to the crime scene again, so if you can even find something interesting enough to steal there, let me know."

Kay made a face. "Again? I thought we pretty much found everything there is to find over there."

Phoenix yawned. "Yeah, but it couldn't hurt to go over it again, just in case there's something we missed. Besides, I feel like there's a little more to Jane Doe's story than what came out at trial, so I want to try talking to her again before tomorrow."

Kay raised an eyebrow. "Eh? How do you know there's more?"

Phoenix shrugged. "Call it a gut feeling, I guess." He could be more sure about it if he had the magatama, but he'd left that with Edgeworth. He hadn't really realized how much he relied on that little green rock until now.

Kay looked a little disappointed, but she sighed and smiled. "Well, I guess just getting that lady to talk will be an adventure in and of itself."

Phoenix grimaced. "Oh yes. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am..."

Kay laughed and slapped him on the back. "Aw, buck up, Nickles! Be a man!"

Suddenly, the courthouse doors flew open, and Detective Gumshoe barrelled into the lobby. He was dragging someone by the arm; it looked like a teenager. The kid wore a bright red vest and pants, and he had two giant antennae-looking spikes of hair sticking up from the top of his head. He looked scared out of his wits.

Detective Gumshoe, upon sighting Phoenix, rushed towards him, kid in tow. "Hey, pal, I found this suspicious person snooping around near your- er, Mr. Edgew- er, the car! Should I arrest him?"

"O- Objection!" the kid squealed weakly, struggling to free himself from the detective's grasp. "I wasn't snooping! I just… well, my badge fell out of my pocket again, and I was looking for it, that's all!" He looked up at Phoenix, pleading desperately. "Please tell him he has no grounds for arrest!"

Phoenix placed his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes at the detective. "Really? This is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen you do, Gumshoe."

The detective pouted. "But he looked like he was trying to steal the car… I was just doin' my civic duty..."

Phoenix sighed. "Just let him go already."

Gumshoe reluctantly relinquished his hold on the kid, who smiled in relief and turned to Phoenix. "Thank you so much, Prosecutor Edgeworth!" he gushed.

Phoenix blinked. "...do I know you?"

The teenager blushed. "Oh, no, I just, umm, I was just watching the trial…"

Phoenix felt his face go slightly red. "Oh…"

The kid smiled sheepishly. "I go to all of Mr. Wright's trials…" His eyes practically sparkled. "He was really on fire today! The way he handled that hearsay testimony was so smooth, so professional…" He gasped. "Ah! S- Sorry!"

Phoenix scratched the back of his head. "It's okay. I'm… actually not sure how I feel about that." He cleared his throat. "So, it seems like you really look up to Mr. Wright…"

The kid blushed. "Oh, um, I… w- well…" He gave a tiny smile. "He's kind of my inspiration, I guess." He blinked. "Oh, but I really admire your skills, too, Mr. Edgeworth!" His eyes started to sparkle again. "Both of you are like gods of justice…ah!" He clamped a hand over his mouth, beet-red.

Phoenix chuckled. "Wright's your inspiration, huh? Are you gonna become a defense attorney?"

The kid fidgeted. "Um, well, I sort of already am one… except I haven't really found any work yet, and I just lost my badge."

Phoenix's eyes widened slightly. "You lost your badge?! Are you sure?!"

The kid sighed. "Yeah… I looked all over for it, but I think it went down a gutter somewhere."

Phoenix suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for the unlucky teen. "That's terrible… You know, you can't practice law without one. If I were you, I'd go sewer-spelunking; it's probably gonna take them years to get you a new one."

The kid blanched. "Y- Years?!"

Phoenix nodded gravely. "Never underestimate the slowness of the government."

Kay punched the kid on the shoulder and grinned. "Don't worry, Stubs! I'll just steal one for ya!"

The kid blinked. "Stubs…?"

Phoenix sighed. "Kay, you could get in real trouble for that."

Kay pouted. "Oh, fine." She folded her arms. "You know, we'd better start investigating…"

Gumshoe gasped. "Ah, that's right!" He gave Phoenix a lopsided salute. "I decided to really help you guys out today, pal! Y'know, to make up for yesterday and all…"

Phoenix had to try really hard to keep from rolling his eyes. "Wonderful." He turned to the kid. "Well, I guess we'd better go… I hope you find your badge."

The kid sighed dejectedly, antennae drooping. "Thanks…"

Kay grinned. "It was nice meeting you! What's your name?"

The kid glanced at her, then at Phoenix. "My name's Apollo Justice," he said.

Phoenix smiled. "Apollo Justice, eh? I'll have to remember that…" He started walking towards the courtroom doors, then turned back to Apollo. "Oh, and, when you get your badge back, you really should work on your 'OBJECTION.'"

Apollo blinked. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

Phoenix shrugged. "Well, it could use a little more… oomph." He smirked. "Make it loud! Really loud!"

Apollo blushed slightly. "R- Right! I'll do that!"

Phoenix turned back around and followed Kay and Detective Gumshoe out through the courthouse doors. Gumshoe glanced at him. "So, where do you wanna start, pal?"

Phoenix pulled Edgeworth's keys out of his pocket and headed towards the red sports car, where it was parked alongside the curb. "We're going back to the house of Jane Doe…"

Gumshoe gulped. "Into the harpy's lair, more like it." Apparently, he'd had bad experiences with this woman as well.

Kay scowled. "Don't worry, Nickles… I'm not gonna let that jerk get away with anything today!"

Phoenix sighed. "Right…" He opened the car door and slid behind the wheel. "Now the only question is…" He smiled sheepishly. "How do I get there again?"

Kay sighed and turned on Little Thief. "We are all so directionally challenged…"

* * *

**Author's Note: Apollo Justice was ultimately unable to find his badge; due to some misplaced paperwork, it took the government nearly seven years to replace it.**


	17. Return to the Office

Date: August 5

Time: 12:07 p.m.

Location: Wright and Co. Law Offices

Edgeworth fumbled for the light switch, and flicked it on, filling the office with fluorescent light. He'd told himself on the first night that he wouldn't come here, but he'd talked to Agent Lang on the phone and managed to squeeze a meeting out of him, so he felt the office would be a more appropriate setting than Wright's apartment. He'd been surprised when Lang was actually very friendly and respectful to him over the phone; Edgeworth suspected that this less-hostile manner was, in reality, the way the Interpol agent normally treated strangers who were not prosecutors.

Pearls skipped happily into the office, then suddenly gasped. She turned to him frantically. "Mr. Wright-werth! We forgot to take care of Charley!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Charley? I didn't know Wright had any pets..."

Pearls shook her head. "Charley's not a pet, he's a plant! Nobody's watered him in two days!" She opened up a cabinet and pulled out a miniature blue plastic watering can, then headed towards the office's tiny bathroom.

Edgeworth sighed, then slowly walked around to the other side of the desk and sat down. The surface of the rather battered-looking desk was covered with piles of papers; everything was completely and utterly disorganized. There was an ancient behemoth of a PC, also rather battered-looking, and a couple of pens and empty snack-sized chip bags. Edgeworth snorted. _This office is a wreck; I should probably clean it up before Agent Lang gets here... _

He glanced at his watch; Lang would be coming at one, so he had a little less than an hour to tidy up and then work on breaking Pearl's Psycho-locks. That would be more than enough time.

He stood up, glancing around the office. _If I were Wright, where would I keep my cleaning supplies?_ His gaze came to rest on the cabinet that Pearls had taken the watering can from; perhaps there was something in there? He crossed the room and opened the cabinet. There was some window cleaner, a miniature vacuum, a ratty-looking feather duster, and... a myriad of toilet-cleaning supplies. Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. The selection of toilet-related products was so vast and so varied in comparison to the rest of Wright's meager cleaning supplies, it seemed to suggest some kind of strange obsession. Edgeworth stood there gaping at all of the toilet cleaners for a moment or two before shaking his head and reaching for the feather duster. _There are some things about Wright that I really did not want to know..._

At that moment, Pearls emerged from the bathroom, watering can now full to the brim. Carefully, she walked over to the giant potted plant next to the desk, and slowly and deliberately poured the water from the can into the dark soil. When finished, she smiled broadly. "There, now Charley's got all the water he needs!" She turned to Edgeworth and spotted the feather duster. "Ah! Mr. Wright-werth, are you thinking about cleaning?"

Edgeworth closed the cabinet door and turned around to face her. "I'm not thinking about it; it's going to happen." He clenched his fist. "This office is a disgrace! I must clean it, for the sake of all who enter here!"

Pearls gasped. "Wow… Mr. Wright-werth, you're so intense…" She bounced up and down on her heels. "Can I help you clean?"

Edgeworth nodded. "Certainly, if you don't mind a bit of work…"

Pearls grinned. "Yay! What should I do?"

Edgeworth glanced around. "Well, I suppose you could wipe down the windows while I organize the desk." He stroked his chin. "Then we'll have to vacuum the carpet and dust the bookshelves…"

Pearls nodded and rolled up her sleeves. "Right!"

Edgeworth handed her the window cleaner, and went to work on the desk. It took him quite a while, but he was able to organize the piles of paper alphabetically by defendant and find places for them in the filing cabinet. Once that was done, he tossed all of the empty chip bags into the trashcan and wiped down the surface of the desk with a paper towel to make sure he hadn't left any crumbs. Glancing over towards the windows, he saw Pearls wiping enthusiastically and afforded himself a brief smile before moving on the the vacuuming.

When all was said and done, the two of them managed to clean the entire office in forty-five minutes. As soon as everything looked spotless, Pearls flopped onto the couch and sighed happily. "Wow… that was a lot of work!"

Edgeworth sat down beside her. "I'm sorry…" He grimaced. "This office turned out to be even messier than I'd initially anticipated."

Pearls smiled at him. "No, really, it was fun!" She looked around, admiring their handiwork. "I don't think I've ever seen this place so clean, actually!" She leaned back and closed her eyes. "Mr. Wright-werth, you're awesome. You should come here more often!"

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. Perhaps it was time to work on those locks… "Pearls, there's something I've been meaning to talk with you about," he said, as straight-faced as he could.

Pearls looked up at him, seeming to sense where he was going with this. "O- Oh… um, okay…" she said, smiling nervously. "What is it?"

Edgeworth folded his arms. "Yesterday, you told me that you knew something about some strange things that might be happening to me. I'd like you to tell me what that is."

He heard the clanking of chains as the Psycho-locks appeared in the air in front of Pearls. The little girl cringed. "Please don't… I promised Mystic Maya I wouldn't tell…"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "Actually, I think I've already figured out what it is you've been trying to hide from me."

Pearls gasped. "Really?"

Edgeworth nodded. "But I'd like to hear it from you."

Pearls started chewing on her thumbnail; the Locks were still there, so it looked like she had no intention of telling him without putting up a fight.

Edgeworth sighed. "Very well, then. I suppose you leave me no choice." He folded his arms. "I'm just going to have to break those Psycho-locks of yours."

Pearls frowned. "They're Psyche Locks, Mr. Wright-werth."

Edgeworth scowled. "It doesn't really matter! The point is that I'm going to expose the secret you've been hiding." He tapped his finger. "Now then… I've managed to deduce that the strange experiences I've been having stem from the subconscious."

Pearls gasped, and one of the Locks shattered. "How did you…?"

Edgeworth tsked. "Basic logic." He folded his arms. "But that's not all, is it?"

Pearls started chewing on her thumbnail. "Umm… well…"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead. "Ms. Mia Fey told me something very interesting today; apparently, when a medium channels a spirit, she's generally only able to channel the conscious mind. In our case, that means that part of Wright's subconscious is still here, in this body."

Pearls cringed, and a second Lock shattered. "That's right," she said softly.

Edgeworth smirked. _Only three more to go..._ "Since, as I've already stated, the strange things that are happening to me can be directly tied to the subconscious, it stands to reason that Wright's subconscious is having some sort of effect on mine."

Pearls gasped. "Ah!" She was so startled, two of the Locks shattered simultaneously.

Edgeworth frowned slightly. He'd already exhausted all of the information he'd found out earlier; he could only guess that the secret behind the final lock was the reason Pearls had gone to the trouble to hide all this from him in the first place. He folded his arms. "Pearls, you are a very smart, very kind girl. So why would you keep something like this a secret?"

Pearls fidgeted. "W- Well, I promised Mystic Maya..."

Edgeworth tsked. "Come, now, we both know there's more to it than that." He tapped his forehead. "On the night of August third, you said that you wanted to stay here instead of going back to Kurain so that you could help both Wright and myself in your capacity as a spirit medium."

Pearls nodded vehemently. "That's right!"

Edgeworth folded his arms. "I believe that, in hiding this clearly relevant information, you're either trying to help us, or, more likely, protect us from something. Perhaps this development signals a danger of some sort; something that would interfere with our chances of returning to our bodies." He locked eyes with Pearls. "Well? Am I right?"

Pearl's bottom lip quivered, and she gave a tiny sniffle. Suddenly, the final Lock shattered, and the chains surrounding the little girl disappeared. Pearls looked like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry," she sniffed. "Mystic Maya made me promise not to tell... she said you'd get worried..."

Edgeworth knelt down to the little girl's height. "It's okay to tell me, Pearls," he said. "I won't get worried, I promise." _Or at least, I'll try very hard to keep you from seeing it…_

Pearls sniffled, then nodded. "You were right about everything. The truth is..." She looked up at him. "If Mystic Maya can't switch you back by midnight tomorrow, we won't be able to switch you back ever."

Edgeworth's eyes widened slightly, and he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. For a moment, he forgot to breathe. Only one more day...? All he had was one day, before... He shook his head. He couldn't think about that now... he'd promised Pearls that he wouldn't get worried. He forced himself to remain calm, and held the little girl's gaze. "Thank you for telling me," he murmured. Pearls nodded.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Edgeworth stood up and checked the clock; twelve fifty-six. He was fashionably early.

Edgeworth walked over to the door and grasped the knob. He took a deep breath, pushed all thoughts of what Pearls had just told him out of his mind, and opened the door.

Agent Lang stood with his hands in his pockets, grinning wolfishly. He was wearing those ridiculous X-shaped sunglasses, but he reached up and took them off when he saw Edgeworth. He held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Shi-long Lang." He grinned. "Nice place you got here, Mr. Wright."

Edgeworth smirked. For once, he actually appreciated the agent's sarcasm. "Thank you for agreeing to meet on such short notice," he said, shaking Lang's hand. "I know you must be busy..."

Lang shrugged. "Don't worry about it." He smirked. "I'm more than happy to help out Mr. Frilly Prosecutor's arch-rival."

Edgeworth made a face somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. "Um... thank you." He cleared his throat, motioning towards the inside of the office. "Ah, please, come in."

Lang nodded, and stepped into the office. Edgeworth quickly pulled a up chair in front of the desk, and the agent flopped down into it and folded his legs. "So, you want to know about the smuggling ring, eh?" Lang asked, smirking.

Edgeworth sat down behind the desk and nodded. "That's correct." He folded his hands on the surface of the desk. "Tell me, how likely is it that someone involved with the ring would want Kyle D'angelo dead?"

Lang laughed. "I get it… if this is a hit by the ring, then your client's innocent, right?" He folded his hands. "Lang Zi says: 'a pack of mutts will readily turn on itself in the winter.'"

Edgeworth sighed. "Let me guess: you meant to say that if the ring experienced unfavorable circumstances, they might begin to fight amongst themselves, right?"

Lang smirked. "Yeah, not bad." He folded his arms. "I did a little digging around at the crime scene, and I found some very interesting papers locked away in your vic's filing cabinet. They were related to art smuggling operations in Borginia." He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe the other member of the ring that came to this area decided they needed to get their hands on those papers."

Edgeworth pondered the idea. Nothing in the house looked like it had been burglarized… there was also the clear element of passion involved in the severing of the ring finger. However, that wasn't to say that these smuggling papers weren't relevant. He opened up Wright's case file and made a brief note of this information on the back of one of the papers. He'd have to go to the crime scene again and inspect this filing cabinet… He turned back to Agent Lang. "Speaking of, have you managed to find any clues relating to the identity of the second smuggler?"

Lang growled. "No, nothing yet." He leaned forward slightly. "But it might actually be a woman."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's a start, I suppose…"

Lang looked miffed. "Hey, it's a better lead than you think." He held up a piece of paper with a small list of names written on it. "Turns out your vic didn't keep in regular contact with very many people. Seems like the only two women that he even knew well were his wife and that neighbor."

Edgeworth blinked. "Do you mean Ms. Jane Doe?"

Lang nodded. "That's the one."

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger. This was certainly an interesting tidbit of news. "So you believe there's a possibility that Ms. Doe could be the second smuggler?" he asked.

Lang grinned wolfishly. "Definitely." He shrugged. "But then again, it's just a possibility; we really have no concrete proof to go on at this point." He growled. "But mark my words; whoever it is, I'm going to hunt them down and put them behind bars!"

Edgeworth smiled slightly. "Well, I must certainly commend you for your enthusiasm." He pushed himself up to a standing position. "Thank you very much for your help, Agent Lang. You've provided me with at least a verisimilitude with which to resume my investigation..."

Lang stood up as well, smirking. "Not sure what that meant, but hey, anytime." He headed for the door, and put on his sunglasses. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned. "Oh, and if you ever need anything from me to help you beat that Prosecutor, feel free to ask. Lang Zi says: 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend.'"

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "Lang Zi did not say that."

Lang laughed, and opened the door. "See ya 'round, Mr. Attorney." He shut the door behind him with a bang.

Edgeworth sighed. "Well, at least he was helpful…"

Pearls peeked out from behind the bathroom door. "Mr. Wright-werth, is it okay to come out now?"

Edgeworth nodded, smiling slightly. "Were you hiding in there the whole time?"

Pearls smiled sheepishly. "I know you said I didn't have to, but Mr. Agent Lang was kind of scary."

Edgeworth folded his arms. "Well, yes, in a way. But he did help us out quite a bit."

Pearls bounced up and down on her heels. "Are we gonna go investigate and break Ms. Doe's Psyche Locks?"

Edgeworth tapped his forehead and nodded. "Indeed." He headed for the door, Pearls following closely behind him. "We may be close to uncovering the truth behind this case."

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 12:07 p.m.

Location: ?

Phoenix slammed his hand on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off. "Dang it, Kay! Doesn't that Kid Thief thing ever actually work?!"

Kay scowled. "It's Little Thief, and he's a marvel of modern technology!" She held the gadget defensively. "You're the one who keeps getting us lost!"

Phoenix ground his teeth. Somehow, they'd managed to become dreadfully lost yet again... only this time, there was no rockstar intern to give them directions.

Gumshoe glanced around, pointing down a street to the right. "Well, I think I recognize that house over there, pal… Maybe we should go that way?"

Phoenix groaned. "We already went that way; you only recognize that house because we've been circling around this block for twenty minutes!"

Gumshoe pouted. "Hey, no need to get all frustrated, pal. The place has gotta be around here somewhere, right?"

Phoenix sighed and rubbed his temples. "Right. I'm sure we'll get there eventually…" He tried forcing himself to stay positive, but inevitably failed. No matter what way he looked at it, they were hopelessly lost. He moaned. "We are NEVER going to get to this crime scene…"

Suddenly, Edgeworth's cell phone started to ring. Phoenix blinked; who could that be? He fumbled for the phone, and checked the caller I.D... it said it was an unknown number. Phoenix raised an eyebrow and held the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Nickles! How are ya?"

Phoenix's eyes widened slightly. "...Maya?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Remember that one time, a really long time ago, when Maya told Pearl she was gonna call Nickles? Yeah, she finally got around to it.**

**Lang Zi says: "I wrote all of the sayings you get inside your fortune cookies."**

**I'm sorry, I'm really bad at writing Psycho-lock scenes. Maybe we can just say that Pearl's broke really easily because she kind of wanted to tell Wrightworth anyway…?**

**Did you catch 6GunSally's Word of the Day? (which comes from a fic by the same name that you should all go read because it's brilliant.) It's 'verisimilitude.' For some reason, Edgeworth seems to be the only one who can conceivably say that word in a conversation. Good thing there's a lot of Edgey in this chapter...**


	18. Investigating is Not a Race

Date: August 5

Time: 12:07

Location: ?

Phoenix's eyes widened. "Maya?" He held the phone tight against his ear. "Did something happen? I haven't heard from you in days... why didn't you call me earlier?!"

Maya sounded apologetic. "I'm sorry, Nickles, I just... well, I've been working as hard as I can, and it took me a while to find Mr. Edgeworth's cell number. Besides, it's been more like one day."

Phoenix took a deep breath to quell his frustration and decided to just be happy that Maya had called. "So, are you going to be back soon?" he asked. "If you don't get here before tomorrow and I lose this case, Edgeworth is going to literally kill me."

Maya made a tiny noise. "Um, well..." She sounded extremely hesitant. "That's kind of the reason I called."

Phoenix didn't like where this was going.

Maya coughed. "Yeah, um, I just found this out yesterday, but apparently we have a time limit."

Phoenix gulped. "What do you mean by 'time limit?'"

"Well..." Maya seemed a little reluctant. "Basically, your subconscious is slowly getting absorbed by Edgeworth's-"

"Woah woah woah. Hold it right there!" Phoenix felt a now familiar dread start building up in his chest. "What about my subconscious?!"

Maya sighed. "Do I really have to explain this again?!"

Phoenix blinked. "'Again?' You told someone else about this before me?!"

"It was Pearly, Nickles!" Maya was starting to sound slightly agitated. "Stop freaking out!"

Phoenix took another deep breath. "Sorry. Please continue."

Maya sighed. "Alright, so about your subconscious..." She then proceeded to explain the rather complicated details of their circumstances; with every word, Phoenix felt the dread that was slowly building up inside of him grow. When she'd finished, Phoenix took a deep breath. "So, how much time do we have?"

Maya paused. "Well, according to the text, if we can't switch you back by midnight tomorrow, you'll be... stuck like that."

Phoenix's breath caught in his throat, and he stared straight ahead. "Only one day…?" he murmured. "That's it?"

"Well, technically it's more like a day and a half," Maya muttered. "But yeah, that's it."

Phoenix held a hand to his forehead; he had to remain calm. Remain calm… "So you're definitely going to be back before then, right?"

"Yep!" Maya went back to sounding like her usual cheerful self. "Don't worry, I've almost got everything I need figured out. This is gonna work, really!"

Phoenix sighed and smiled a little. Her sheer confidence was always enough to keep him going, whether it was in the courtroom or anywhere else. "Alright, get back here as soon as you can, got it?"

"Got it!" Maya chuckled. "Have fun, Nickles!"

Phoenix nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "See you soon." And with that, he ended the call and slid the cell phone back into his pocket. Suddenly, the weight of what Maya had just told him crashed over him like a wave, and he flopped back in his seat and closed his eyes. If his subconscious was being affected by Edgeworth's, then was that dream…?

Kay poked him on the shoulder. "Hey, what was that all about?" When he didn't answer, she poked him again. "Nickles! Come on, what did Maya say?"

Detective Gumshoe leaned over him, concerned. "Hey, pal, is everything alright?"

Phoenix sighed. "Yes, everything is fine, okay?" He sat up slowly and turned the key in the ignition to restart the car. "Let's just focus on investigating."

Kay looked unconvinced, but she didn't press him. Rather, she folded her arms and grinned. "Well, first we've gotta focus on orienteering! You know, as in finding the right street and stuff."

Phoenix shook his head. "I don't think that word means what you think it means…"

Gumshoe pointed to the right. "I'm tellin' ya, pal, I'm absolutely sure it's this way!"

Phoenix sighed and pulled away from the curb. "You know what, if this doesn't work, I'm going to start picking streets because I like their names."

* * *

Ten minutes later, the red sports car pulled up along the curb in front of Marie D'angelo's house, and Phoenix breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Good thing I decided to take Bunburry Street, otherwise we never would have found this place."

Kay grinned. "Maybe you should do that 'pick-the-street-with-the-cool-name' thing more often."

Gumshoe hopped out of the car and glanced around the yard, raring to go. "Alright, let's start investigating! Where should we check first?"

Phoenix stepped out of the car, locked it, and put the keys in his pocket. "Well, we kind of already examined everything in the backyard, so I suppose we might as well check the house." Honestly, he didn't think he'd be able to find anything there, either, but it couldn't hurt to try.

Kay grinned. "Sounds fun!" She rubbed her hands greedily. "This is a pretty big house... they must have a bunch of really cool stuff inside!"

Phoenix glared at her. "Swiper no swiping, Kay."

Kay smiled at him innocently. "Oh, come on, I'm not gonna take anything."

Phoenix sighed. "You and your kleptomania are almost more annoying than Maya's four stomachs."

When they reached the front door of the house, Gumshoe gave it three hard knocks. The door was then opened by Officer Hammer, who held a roll of police tape in her hands. She saluted when she saw Gumshoe. "Detective Gumshoe! Prosecutor Edgeworth!"

Gumshoe grinned. "Hey, Officer! How's it going? Are you holding down the fort?"

Hammer smiled and nodded. "Yes sir! I was just about to tape up the door when I heard you knock."

Phoenix grimaced. Didn't these people ever actually investigate things?! He cleared his throat. "Um, would it be alright for us to look around the house?"

Hammer nodded, looking a little bit confused. "Of course, sir. You don't have to ask..."

Phoenix smiled sheepishly. "Right..." He was so used to having to fight and claw his way into crime scenes that he forgot that he actually had investigative authority here.

Officer Hammer opened the door wide and stepped to the side to allow the three of them to enter the house. Kay gasped, wide-eyed. "This place is..."

"...a dump?" Phoenix finished, glancing around what was apparently the living room. The room itself was large, but there was almost no furniture, and the walls were a grungy white. He turned to Detective Gumshoe. "How long have the D'angelos lived here?"

Gumshoe scratched his head. "Well, pal, I'm not sure exactly when they moved in, but I think it was a couple of months ago."

Phoenix stroked his chin thoughtfully. According to what Edgeworth had told him, that would correspond with when the smuggling ring was shut down. He turned to Officer Hammer. "Is there an office room or something here?"

Hammer nodded. "The victim had a small office with a desk and some filing cabinets." She pointed to the right. "It's at the end of that hall."

Phoenix started walking in that direction. "Thanks."

Kay caught up with him in a few seconds, looking excited. "What are you hoping to find in the office?"

Phoenix paused for a second. He hadn't told Kay about the involvement of the smuggling ring yet... Suddenly, he remembered the disaster that had resulted from him trying to hide things from Franziska von Karma, and decided he'd better tell her. "Well," he said, "it turns out that Kyle D'angelo was actually a member of a certain smuggling ring..."

Kay gasped. "No way! Really?!" She folded her arms angrily. "No wonder he got killed."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "You're not getting homicidal thoughts, are you?"

Kay took a deep breath. "...no." She turned to Phoenix. "So, you're hoping we'll find something related to the smuggling in his office, right?" Thankfully, she didn't seem as upset by the news as Edgeworth had implied that she would be... or at the very least, she wasn't showing it. Phoenix nodded. "That's the plan."

Upon reaching the end of the hall, Phoenix saw an open door and peeked inside. When Hammer had said that the office had a desk and some filing cabinets, he hadn't expected that to mean only a desk and filing cabinets. Except for the aforementioned objects, the room was completely empty, the walls the same grungy white as the living room. He sighed. _Well, at least I know exactly where to look. _

Kay and Gumshoe shuffled into the room, gawking at the sheer emptiness. Kay huffed. "How am I supposed to steal the truth when there's literally nothing in this house?!"

Gumshoe scratched his head. "Call it my detective's instinct, but this place is giving me a weird feeling, pals. Somethin' ain't right..."

Phoenix nodded. "It looks like it's never been lived in." He walked over to the filing cabinet. "Even if they've only been here a couple months, you'd think there would be more furniture or knick-knacks." He opened up the top drawer of the cabinet and flipped through the rows of manilla files; most of them seemed irrelevant to the case. He then closed that drawer and moved on to the second, still finding nothing of great importance. Finally, he reached the third drawer; opening it, he noticed that there was only one file inside. He pulled out the file and flipped it open, scanning the first page for anything related to smuggling. After a glance, he realized that the whole thing was written in a language he couldn't identify. He ground his teeth. "Seriously?! Just when I think I finally find something, it's in some weird language I've never seen before in my life…"

Kay jumped in front of him. "Let me see, let me see!" She grabbed the file and grinned. "Hey, I recognize this! It's Cohdopian!"

Phoenix blinked. "Cohdopian? I've never heard of that…"

Kay grabbed the paper and studied it, smirking proudly. "I helped Mr. Edgeworth solve two murders in the embassies of Allebahst and Babahl, which used to be one country called Cohdopia. There were a lot of documents from the smugglers that were written in Cohdopian."

Phoenix smiled excitedly. "That's great! So what does it say?"

Kay blinked. "How am I supposed to know that?!"

Phoenix smacked his forehead and groaned. "Oh, so you know what the language looks like, but can't read it. That's _really_ helpful, Kay…"

Kay folded her arms and huffed. "What, do you really expect me to be some kind of language expert?! The Yatagarasu has no time for such trivial things!"

Phoenix narrowed his eyes at her. "Actually, wouldn't knowing a lot of different languages be _beneficial_ to you as a thief?"

Kay punched him on the shoulder, hard. "I'm the thief, I decide what's beneficial and what isn't!"

Phoenix winced, clutching his shoulder. "NGAAH! I thought I asked you to stop that!"

Suddenly, Officer Hammer cleared her throat. "I hate to interrupt, but…" She raised her hand hesitantly. "I know a little Cohdopian…"

Immediately, everyone in the room was gathered around her. Kay thrust the paper at her. "You're awesome! Could you please read this for us? It's SUPER important!"

Hammer nodded, cleared her throat, and began to read. "Umm… the title says, 'Documents for the Transport of Ham Sandwiches…" She blinked. "Oh, wait, no, that says 'Counterfeit Bills.' Sorry…"

Phoenix smirked. "No, that's perfectly fine." He took back the piece of paper, placed it back inside the manilla folder, and handed it to Detective Gumshoe. "I'm not exactly sure how this fits into the case, but I have a feeling the ring is definitely involved... I think we should hold onto this for now."

Gumshoe saluted. "You got it, pal!"

Phoenix found himself grinning. He'd actually found something important! The feeling was almost euphoric.

Suddenly, a low growling sound filled the room. Kay smiled sheepishly. "Ha ha… sorry, I haven't had lunch."

Phoenix suddenly remembered that he hadn't had lunch either… just thinking about it made his own stomach growl. He shrugged. "Alright, I guess we can talk to Jane Doe later. For now, though, I think we could all use a little food-break…"

Kay pumped her fist in the air. "YEAH! We should totally chill out in the office, order a bunch of pizzas and-"

"NO." Phoenix glared at her. "No. Do not even go there."

Kay pouted. "Aww, you're no fun."

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 12:17 p.m.

Location: 6 Briar Avenue, D'angelo Residence

Edgeworth guided Pearls up the walkway towards the front door of the house; Jane Doe's Psycho-locks could wait until after he saw those smuggling documents. Upon reaching the door, he gave it a sharp knock and stepped back a bit. After a minute or two of waiting, a young police officer he'd never seen before opened the door and stared at him. "Uh, this is a crime scene and stuff, so…"

Edgeworth sighed and pointed to Wright's badge. "I'm representing Marie D'angelo, the defendant in this case. I would like to investigate the house, if you don't mind."

The officer glanced down at Pearls. "Uh, is she allowed to be here?"

Edgeworth blinked. This man was actually questioning Pearl's presence? He was beginning to think that would never happen… although, now he truthfully had no idea how to respond. "Well…" He cleared his throat. "Officer Hammer said it was alright." As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he winced. Was that really the best he could come up with?! He hoped Wright's lingering subconscious wasn't somehow dulling his intellect.

Luckily, the young officer seemed to accept that as sufficient, for he shrugged and opened the door for them. "Uh, I guess that's okay, then," he said, taking a second to blow his bangs out of his eyes. "If you need anything, uh, let me know."

Edgeworth nodded curtly, then glanced around the room. It appeared to be some sort of living-room, but there was little furniture or decorations of any kind, and the walls looked sort of… dirty. Edgeworth grimaced. This house looked like it had never been lived in… obviously, the D'angelos hadn't been planning on staying here long. He turned to the officer. "Excuse me, but could you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the office, Officer…?"

The officer rolled his eyes. "Uh, just call me Ben." He pointed to the right. "Uh, if you go down that hall, it's the last door on the right."

Pearls bounced up and down on her heels excitedly. "Thanks, Ben!"

Edgeworth grimaced slightly. "Indeed. Thank you... Ben."

Ben pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and started fooling around with it. "Uh, don't mention it." From the sounds the phone was making, he appeared to be playing some kind of game.

Edgeworth sighed as he headed down the hall. No wonder all of the detectives in this precinct seemed to be incompetent…

Pearls glanced up at him. "So, what are we looking for, again?"

Edgeworth spotted the door to the office and pulled it open. "The smuggling documents that Agent Lang discovered could be extremely important to our case, for they create the possibility of the involvement of a third party." Stepping into the tiny office, he immediately started searching the filing cabinet. The first drawer appeared to contain nothing of value, so he moved on to the second. After finding nothing again, he slid open the third drawer; it was completely empty. Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "That's strange… Agent Lang told me there were smuggling documents here…"

Suddenly, Ben stepped into the room and coughed. "Uh, there were, but Officer Hammer just bagged them as evidence for the prosecution."

Edgeworth's eyes widened. "...What?!"

Ben shrugged. "Hey, I don't know, Mr. Edgeworth just kinda took them. Said he, uh, wanted to hold on to them or something." He sighed. "But they all went out to get lunch at Red Lobster without me… I, uh, feel totally left out and stuff."

Edgeworth's right eye twitched. "He took the documents… and went… out to lunch?!" He started shaking, fists clenched. _WRIIIIIIGHT…_

Pearls gasped. "Mr. Wright-werth! Are you going to explode?!"

Suddenly, Edgeworth grabbed her by the arm and dashed out of the office. "We're going to Jane Doe's house RIGHT NOW!" he shouted, sprinting down the hall. He ground his teeth._ I should have known… should have known something like this would happen eventually… it's been a long time since my investigation's been so expertly hindered by you, Wright._

He flew out of the house and slammed the door behind him, letting go of Pearls and taking a second to calm himself down. Pearls panted, bending over with her hands on her knees. "Did… Mr. Nickles take… the important papers?"

Edgeworth folded his arms and tapped his finger furiously, glaring into the distance. "Yes… those documents could be crucial to our case, and he doesn't even need them at all! We must get them back!" Suddenly, an idea occurred to him… a horrible, cruel, idea. He smirked and pulled out Wright's cell phone; he was about to wreak swift and terrible vengeance.

Pearls must have read his expression, because she gasped. "Mr. Wright-werth! What are you going to do?!"

Edgeworth turned on the phone and started dialing a number that he knew by heart. "I'm sorry, Pearls," he said, smirking. "But this is something that has to be done." He pressed the 'call' button and held the phone up to his ear. For the first time in years, he truly felt like a Demon Prosecutor.

* * *

**Author's Note: Oh dear. It would appear that me writing Blue Exorcist at the same time as this is having some sort of adverse effect on mild-mannered Edgey… although, honestly, he just HAS to release all that pent-up emotion sometime. Plus, I'm sure he's very stressed about all of this body-switching-time-limit schtuff. **

**Meet Officer Ben, a character loosely based on every dumb person I have ever known and named affectionately after my Philosophy professor (who, ironically, I like very much). He may or may not show up again… I think his boring nature is infectious.**

**Of course Nickles and Co. are going to Red Lobster. That place is da bomb.**


	19. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Old

Date: August 5

Time: 12:26 p.m.

Location: 6 Briar Avenue, Sidewalk

Edgeworth held the phone to his ear and started pacing back and forth. After a moment or two, he stopped and stood still. "Hello, this is Phoenix Wright… no, please don't hang up, I have something very important to discuss with you!" He sighed and faced the house. "It's about Prosecutor Edgeworth…" He looked like he wanted to say more, but whoever was on the other end of the line didn't seem to be letting him get a word in edgewise.

Finally, he managed to speak his piece after loudly clearing his throat. "See, Mr. Edgeworth accidentally took some papers of mine… no, a file related to a smuggling ring. I need them back…" He grimaced, as the person on the other end of the line flew into an angry tirade. "No one knows him better than you! That's why I need your help so desperately!" He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "You... may have to seduce him…" After a couple of seconds or so, he sighed in relief before smirking mischievously. "Thank you very much…"

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 12:32 p.m.

Location: Red Lobster Restaurant

Kay nibbled happily on a cheesy biscuit, grinning contentedly. "Thanks, Nickles… I think this is the best food I've ever had… I can't believe they give you these biscuits for free!"

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Really? Have you never been to a Red Lobster before?"

Kay shook her head. "Nope. The wait's long and the food's expensive, so I never thought it was worth it. Edg-" She suddenly noticed Officer Hammer staring at her and coughed. "_You-know-who_ is kinda stingy, and Uncle Badd was always too busy with work to take me anyplace. There's no way I'd spend this much money on food myself."

Phoenix could definitely understand that. There were times when he was first working on re-starting the firm after Mia died that he couldn't even afford to eat off the 'Dollar Menu' at McDonalds. Perhaps that was why being suddenly so loaded with cash was making him want to spend it as much as he could…

Gumshoe worked at picking apart his crab legs, grinning from ear to ear. "This is the best food I've had in years, pal!" He wolfed his food down with rabid ferocity, like a man who's had nothing to eat for days.

Phoenix and Officer Hammer exchanged glances. This was… almost sad.

Hammer fiddled with her soda glass. "Um, thank you for treating us, sir…"

Phoenix shrugged, smiling. "I figured it's the least I could do. You know, I just want to make sure you all know that your hard work is appreciated." _Also, I couldn't resist the temptation of Edgeworth's wallet anymore…_

Hammer blinked. She seemed genuinely surprised. "Th- Thank you, sir!" she squeaked, blushing a little.

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. Yeah, he'd admit that the police were not always the sharpest tools in the shed, but was Edgeworth really so mean to them that Officer Hammer would get flustered over a compliment? He'd have to have a word or two with the prosecutor as soon as they switched back to normal…

The thought made him cringe slightly, Maya's words about the time limit occupying his thoughts. He knew better than to let these nagging doubts get the best of him, but he couldn't help wondering what exactly would happen if Maya didn't return in time, or if something went wrong. Would he have to spend the rest of his days like this, living someone else's life? Would he even be able to stand it? So far, he'd only been Edgeworth for about a day and a half, and already he felt like he was starting to lose it.

He sipped his glass of water, lost in thought. Now that he knew about Edgeworth's subconscious affecting his own, the strange DL-6 dream he'd had and the incident with the elevator made sense. He wondered if it would get worse as time passed… Maya had made it seem that way. What sorts of strange things would he find himself doing? He could only hope that there weren't going to be any earthquakes for the next day and a half. Although… He found himself smiling a little. He could probably go on the ferris wheel now without getting sick. He'd have to try it when they finished investigating…

Suddenly, a horrible chill ran down his spine. He couldn't explain it, but he felt some sort of… presence. Someone, or something, was behind him… something that was making his subconscious scream 'run!' His hand shook slightly, and his eyes widened; he was stunned. _What is this? Why am I feeling this way?_ For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to turn around._ What, is it a ghost or something? Does Edgeworth have some kind of sixth sense I didn't know about?_

"Oh, Edgey-poo ~ !"

Suddenly, all the color left Phoenix's face. Oh dear Lord no. Not her… not now…

He turned around slowly, hoping with all his might that he'd been mistaken. It was, however, a foolish hope. As he turned to face the source of the voice, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with, and entirely too close to, Miles Edgeworth's third-strongest fear: Wendy Oldbag.

The old woman was wearing - oh God, why? - a black dress that was short enough to show parts of her that Phoenix considered gouging out his eyes in order to un-see. She'd also applied copious amounts of makeup, which, rather than having the intended effect, only served to make her closely resemble the sort of demon clown one saw in bad horror movies. Somehow, she'd managed to sneak up behind him until she was only less than a foot away; Phoenix realized that the chill he'd felt must have been something like Edgeworth's subconscious "Oldbag proximity alert" system, most likely developed out of an evolutionary need to adapt after years of stalking. It didn't do him any good now, though… he should have heeded the urge and run while he still could.

Oldbag's eyes sparkled in an unnerving fashion. "Oh, Edgey-poo, what a wonderful coincidence! I never expected to run into you here ~ !"

Phoenix felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead. Liar… she came dressed up for the occasion. Someone must've told the old windbag where he was… He cleared his throat, and hastily rose to his feet. "Well, I was actually, ah, just leaving, so…"

Suddenly, Oldbag wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself tight against his body. "Now, now, my dear, sweet Edgey-poo…" she whispered seductively, eyes half-lidded. "There's no need to be so shy…"

Phoenix was too shocked to do anything but stand there, mouth agape; after a moment or two, he started to shudder, feeling like there were thousands of tiny insects crawling around under his skin. "NOOO!" he screamed, and tried desperately to push the old woman off of him.

Unfortunately, all those years working as a security guard had apparently made Oldbag strong enough to restrain a raging bull, as she refused to loosen her hold on him despite his struggles. "Is that any way to treat a woman?" she huffed, still raising her eyebrows in what was, apparently, her attempt at looking sexy. "Why, in my day, the young men always knew how to show the proper respect to a lady of such dainty and delicate constitution as myself, infactI'llhaveyouknowthatIoncedatedabaronfromEngla nd-"

Phoenix struggled, gasping for air, but it was no use. His whole body twitched and shuddered with spasms of horror as the old woman blathered on.

"-andthatmanwouldn'tevenwatchtheostrichraceswithme -"

Phoenix managed to turn his head to glance, desperately, at the table. Gumshoe and Hammer both did their best to avoid meeting his gaze, while Kay gave him a look of intense pity and shrugged, shaking her head. Phoenix closed his eyes. At this rate, he really was going to die…

"-butofcourseI'drealizedbythenthathishamsteronlyat ericotta-"

"STOP!" Phoenix gasped, eyes shut tight. He was winded, and quivered like a leaf. "What… would I have to do… for you to stop?"

Oldbag pouted; she looked like a fish with its mouth full of seaweed. "Really, now, I think we've reached the point in our relationship where a little public display of affection shouldn't be too much for you, Edgey-poo…"

Phoenix writhed in her grip, and it took an incredible amount of willpower to keep him from vomiting up the lobster he'd just finished off.

Oldbag glanced at him, one eyebrow raised. "Well… there is one thing you could do for me…" she purred. "It's not much, really... you can spare one little file, right?"

Phoenix was instantly suspicious. He scowled. "What file...?"

Oldbag shrugged suggestively. "Oh, just something about a smuggling ring…" She pulled Phoenix in close to her face. "If you give it to me, I'll do whatever you want, Edgey-poo…"

Phoenix was torn. He knew that there was probably something bordering on illegal in him giving the file to Oldbag, and that some shady, unseen evil had clearly sent her to get that file… but people do stupid things when they feel like they're about to die. And Phoenix certainly felt like he was about to die. "Officer Hammer has it," he gasped, motioning in her direction with his head. "Now will you leave me alone?!"

Hammer reluctantly handed the file to Oldbag, who relinquished her hold on Phoenix with a huff. "You know, I'm a little tired of this 'hard-to-get' thing," she grumbled. She then stalked off towards the exit, folder in hand… but not before glancing over her shoulder and blowing him a kiss.

Phoenix collapsed into his chair and tried to keep himself from fainting. "Oh my God…" he mumbled, eyes shut tight. "That was… the worst thing I've ever experienced." He suddenly had a newfound respect for Edgeworth…

Gumshoe folded his arms, frowning. "Did ya even think about who could'a sent her to get that file, pal?! It might'a been the smuggling ring!"

Phoenix pondered that for a moment. "No, I don't think so. Only a select group of people know about… _that thing's_ stalker tendencies. Besides, angry smugglers probably wouldn't be sending an crazy old woman with a blabbermouth to do their dirty work."

Officer Hammer's eyebrows scrunched together thoughtfully. "Then who could it be? Who would do something like that to get a file?"

Phoenix tried to think it through, but he felt like his brain just wasn't working. "Hurrk… I think my grey matter's been turned into pudding," he muttered. "I just can't figure out why in the world…"

Kay grinned. "Hey, you know what Mr. Edg- err, _You-know-who_ always does when something seems complicated?"

Phoenix groaned and held his head in his hands. "Nothing ever seems complicated to him."

Kay ignored his comment with practiced ease. "He uses LOGIC! That's when you take two ideas and combine them to get one really awesome idea!" She used her hands to demonstrate, ending with a motion that looked like an approximation of some sort of explosion.

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "So, logic is going to make my head explode?"

Kay nodded, grinning. "Yep! With IDEAS!"

Phoenix sighed. _Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to give it a try…_ He wracked his brain, trying to come up with something to use. "I suppose it's kinda weird that she knew we were here. Somebody must've told her to come here." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "We only told one other person we were coming here, and that was Officer Ben; he stayed behind at the crime scene."

Gumshoe scratched his head. "So Ben told her to harass ya?"

Phoenix shook his head. "No, he doesn't have any motive. He could've easily gotten that file any other way if he wanted it."

Kay snapped her fingers. "So Ben had to have told somebody else!"

Phoenix nodded. "Right… which means that whoever our mystery culprit is, they must have at least been to the crime scene." He found himself grinning. _That worked out pretty well, actually._

Officer Hammer sighed. "Yes, but we still don't have any idea who this person is…"

Phoenix stood up quickly, having already paid for the bill. "No, but we do know they've been to the crime scene, and that they talked to Officer Ben. If we go back there, he can tell us who came to the scene since we left for lunch."

The rest of the table's occupants followed Phoenix towards the door; Kay grinned cheekily. "So, do you remember the way back to the house?"

Phoenix stopped in his tracks and blinked. _What was it again? Blueberry Street?_

Gumshoe sighed and turned to Officer Hammer. "I really hope you're good with directions, pal."

* * *

Date: August 5

Time: 12:33 p.m.

Location: 5 Briar Avenue, Doe's Residence

For some unexplained reason, Edgeworth found himself hesitating slightly before knocking on the door. He certainly wasn't afraid of Jane Doe, but he was becoming increasingly unsure of how he would handle the breaking of her Psycho-locks. It certainly wasn't going to be as easy as it had been with Pearls, and the secret being hidden in this case was probably much darker... He was also beginning to realize just how little information he had concerning Jane Doe. Would he even be able to break her Psycho-locks with the knowledge he had now?

Pearls glanced up at him, chewing on her thumbnail. "Mr. Wright-werth, do we really need to talk to the scary woman?"

Edgeworth nodded. "According to Ms. Fey… er, Mia, she still has unbroken Psycho-locks."

Pearls still looked a little nervous, but she nodded.

Edgeworth knocked loudly on the door, and took a precautionary step back.

Within moments, the door was opened, and Jane Doe glared at him with her arms folded. "Defense attorney," she snarled. "What do you want?!"

Edgeworth held his hands up in what he hoped was a friendly gesture. "I simply wish to talk."

Jane snorted. "About what? All you wanna do is get your scummy client off scott-free. You're not gonna listen to a word I say."

Edgeworth tried to keep his tone level, like one attempting to calm a spooked horse. "No, I promise I will listen to you objectively." He took a small step forward. "And don't think I'm here to twist facts for anyone. All I seek is the truth."

Jane looked reluctant, but she kept the door open. "Alright, Porcupine. What do you wanna talk to me about?"

Edgeworth reached into his pocket and fingered the Magatama. "I've asked you this question before, but I don't believe you've given a full answer. What did you witness on the day of the murder?"

Jane growled, and the familiar chains and three red Psycho-locks appeared in front of her. "I testified in court, didn't I?" she snarled. "I saw Kyle beating his wife. That's all there is to it."

Edgeworth tsked. "No, there's more. I know you're hiding something from me, and I intend to find out what." He folded his arms. Perhaps it was time to introduce a new line of questioning. "I believe you've stated that your only relation to the victim was as his neighbor?"

Jane humphed. "Yeah, and it's true. I had nothing to do with the guy."

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And yet you seem to harbor an unnatural contempt for his wife."

Jane's left eye twitched. "What does that have to do with anything?!"

Edgeworth tsked. "Really, you can't expect me to believe that you had no relation to the victim whatsoever with such a passionate dislike for Mrs. D'angelo." He folded his arms and began tapping his finger. "I noticed that in your testimony, you consistently avoided calling Mrs. D'angelo by name. However, you always referred to the victim as 'Kyle.' So, you clearly resent the wife, but not the husband, who you were apparently on first-name terms with. In short..." He pointed at her. "I believe that you either had a previous relationship with the victim, or knew him well. This, coupled with your blatant hostility towards Mrs. D'angelo, points towards the conclusion that you were jealous of her relationship with the victim!"

Jane recoiled, and one of the Locks shattered. Edgeworth smirked. _One down, only two more to go._

Jane regained her composure quickly, glaring at him with intense fury. "Okay, yeah, I liked Kyle. So what? That doesn't have anything to do with the case."

Edgeworth shook his head. "Well, for one, your feelings may have affected your testimony. However, I believe there is another side to your relationship with the victim, as well."

Jane snorted. "Please. I may have kind of had a crush on him, but I barely knew the guy in real life. Kyle was always a loner and a shut-in who rarely went outside. I don't think he even knew I liked him."

Edgeworth tapped his finger. He was taking a bit of a stab in the dark, but he had to know for certain. "No, I believe there was more to it than that. You see, I happen to have an acquaintance who works for Interpol; he informed me that Kyle D'angelo was identified as a member of a certain smuggling ring."

Jane glowered at him; it seemed like she knew what was coming.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "He also told me that there was a second smuggler that was hiding in this area; this smuggler was possibly a woman, and probably had some kind of connection to Kyle D'angelo." He pointed at Jane. "You are the second smuggler, are you not?"

Jane blinked and took a small step back. She seemed stunned. However... the Psycho-locks remained firmly in place. Edgeworth felt a tiny bead of sweat form on his brow. Had he been wrong?

Suddenly, Jane began to cackle darkly. "Oh, wow… you're a real moron, aren't you, Porcupine?" She smirked. "Me? A smuggler? Don't be stupid. There's no way I'd do something lame and spineless like that!"

Edgeworth was taken aback. _She really isn't the second smuggler?! But that means…_

Jane grabbed the doorknob. "You know, it's been fun, but I have things to do. Go accuse people somewhere else."

Edgeworth took a step forward. "Please wait, I'd like to talk with you some more-"

"Beat it, Spiky!" Jane barked, then slammed the door shut with a firm bang.

Edgeworth stared blankly at the wooden door for a moment or two, shocked. If Jane Doe wasn't the second smuggler, then according to the information he'd received from Agent Lang, there was only one other possibility…

Pearls tugged at his sleeve. "Mr. Wright-werth! You didn't get to finish breaking her Psyche Locks, did you?"

Edgeworth shook his head. "Unfortunately, I did not." He then guided Pearls back down the walkway and towards the D'angelo house, walking at a brisker pace than usual. His thoughts were all over the place; what could this mean? What was Jane Doe really hiding behind her remaining two Psycho-locks? He could only hope the old bag had been successful; now he really, really needed that file.

* * *

**Author's Note: And the second smuggler is…. (you should be able to figure it out).**

**Is threatening someone with a "sexy" Oldbag in order to obtain a file illegal? I'm not sure.**

**Logic makes your head explode! With IDEAS!**


End file.
